Pushing against a brick wall. Stop & go. “Driving with the brakes on.” Controlled aggression. Battling depression. “At war’ with fear and doubt. The frustrated Man. Doubting one’s masculinity. Re-defining masculinity. Delayed action. Disciplined will. Structuring action plans. Measured assertion. Asserting one’s authority. Re-defining maturity. Sexual inhibitions. Sexual delays. Sexual endurance or indefatigability. Learning lessons via sexual experiences. Looking before you leap. Stalemate. Sadomasochism. A self-contained vibe. Strategic battle plans. Risky business. Hyperfrugality. A Virile old man. A ‘late bloomer’. A Man of integrity. A purposeful example. Hard work. Frustrating work that no one wants to do. Master fighter. The aging athlete. Delayed ignition device. Controlled fire. Motivational strategy. The fiery upstart vs. The established veteran ( a.k.a. the hip-hop battle: Canibus vs. LL Cool J) “Your Naive confidence gets crushed by my dominance!” (“That’s like pickin’ up a ball playin’ with Mike, swingin’ with Ken Griffey or challengin’ Roy to a fight.”) Active realism. Purposeful integrity. A strong role model. The active elder. The energetic CEO. Crush, Kill, Destroy Stress!!
Ah…. relationships !!! If we’re not involved in one, yet want to be, we would like to know why, as the Pharycde asks:”she/he keeps on passin’ me by”. Or, at the very least we’re curious as to whom we may be compatible with. If we are among the fortunate and a participant in a strong, enduring union we still would like to know what we can do to ensure lasting bliss.Unfortunately, some of us may also find ourselves entangled in a mess of epic proportions. Feverishly searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Feeling like we’ve explored every nook and cranny and have nowhere to turn.
From time to time, I’m willing to bet that most of us have been in the grocery store checkout line and browsed through a copy of Cosmo’s “Bedside Astrologer”. Or, peeped a copy of Thelma Balfour’s “Black Sun Signs” in the Astrology section at Barnes & Noble.
We are naturally curious, and inquiring minds want to know!! Astrologically speaking, what type of Man or Woman would I be best suited for? Better yet, is there really anything to this Astrology nonsense? I’ll nip the latter question in the bud right now with a resounding *YES* just so we all understand where I’m coming from.
However, where we’re going is slightly more complicated. For the purposes of this article, I am writing describing intimate relationships. However, synastry – which is the art of comparing two natal charts to estimate the degree of compatibility, as well as the adjustments that would need to take place by both parties to sustain a fulfilling relationship, can be equally applied to family, friends and colleagues.
More Than Sun Signs
Most of the mass-marketed books which discuss compatibility do so on a strictly sun sign basis. “I’m an Aries, he/she’s a Capricorn, why can’t we get along?” While Sun sign compatibility is a vital piece to the puzzle, there are other factors which are not discussed in these books that are just as important. One of the best bits of advice that I could give anyone who is thinking about visiting an Astrologer for a compatibility consultation is to have their own personal chart analyzed first. Find out what you’re bringing to the relationship as an individual. Your drives, strengths and challenges.
What you’re about to read will not provide you with all of the answers that you seek regarding astrological compatibility. However, it will briefly explain and outline some of the other important factors in determining chemistry between two individuals. This is definitely not an exhaustive list. Nevertheless, they are
important points to consider:
Fire, Air, Earth and Water. Elements are the lifeblood of Astrology. They’re our “juice”, and the “flavor” is different for each grouping of signs. Elements explain what world is the most “real” to us.
The Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius : Dynamic, expressive, inspirational. Fire signs want to “get up, get out and get something.” They are literally “fired up” because of the innate enthusiasm that permeates their being. To fire signs, the world of spirit is reality.
The Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius: “Great minds discuss ideas” would be the mantra of this group. Air signs thrive in the world of intellect. A day without cerebral stimulation could be akin to suffocation. Very social, versatile and well rounded- they love to circulate physically and mentally.
The Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn: For Earth signs, life must be lived sensually: seen, touched, heard, tasted and smelled. The physical and material dominates. Very practical, loyal and dependable people. This group says “don’t tell me, show me.” With earth signs, action speaks louder than words.
The Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces : When this group asks “you feel me?” They really mean it. The realm of emotion, imagination, and non-verbal communication is as real as it gets for them. This group is very absorptive. Sensitive to the slightest environmental stimuli. Very compassionate, empathetic and on the whole- great listeners.
The Quadruplicities : Are the majority of your planets, or your partners incardinal, fixed or mutable signs?
The Cardinal Signs: Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn: These four signs are the starters. They initiate action.
The Fixed Signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius: This group of signs serves as the builders and maintainers of what was initiated by the Cardinal signs.
The Mutable Signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces: Here, you have the “go-betweens” or the intermediaries between the Cardinal and Fixed signs. Mutable signs are the adapters.
Well……… you know I had to sneak some music in with the Astrology, right? I wasn’t going to leave y’all hangin’ !! To explain the planets importance to relationship compatibility, I figured I would “break it down, so it will consistently and forever be broke” in musical language.
Song:”The Light” by Pharoahe Monch.
Sun Signs are the facets of Astrological compatibility that we’re most familiar with. It’s where we “shine“. It’s the light that’s cast around us. Our personal power and life mission. Between two people, the questions the Sun asks are: “Are we on the same path“, “Are our journeys compatible?” “Can we honor and encourage each other in pursuit of ourindividuality?”.
Song : “The Food” by Common featuring Kanye West.
The Moon literally symbolizes what “feeds” us. Our emotional needs. What nurtures, sustains and provides nourishment for us in our feeling world. It’s our level of sensitivity, our urge to “nest”. Family anddomestic matters also fall under the Moon’s domain. Here, we’re asking: “Does this person understand my emotional makeup.” “Are they attuned to my inner needs?” “What would family life be like with this individual?”
Song: “Come and Talk to Me” by Jodeci
Mercury represents the urge to communicate. It’s how we think and process information. What we talk about and what stimulates us intellectually. The objective mind, our reasoning ability and powers of analysis. So, we ask : “Do I have good intellectual rapport with this person?” “What do they think/talk about?” “Do we communicate well?” “What are our mutual areas of interest?”
Songs: “The Sweetest Thing” by Lauryn Hill
“The Pleasure Principle” by Janet Jackson
If the Moon symbolizes all that nourishes us, Venus symbolizes the “sweets” of life. It is truly where and how we enjoy ourselves. Venus is beauty, charm, grace, pleasure and refinement. It’s relating in the broadest sense of the word. As a very general rule of thumb, the Venus sign in a Man’s chart is said to represent his ideal woman.Venus prompts us to ask “How do I relate to this person?” “Do I really enjoy being with them?” “Are they fun?” “Are we able to peacefully settle disagreements?”
Song : “Knockin Da Boots” by H-Town
Yes, ladies and gentlemen…. Mars is SEX. It’s symbolic of desire and is very instinctive. Passion, aggression and physical feats of prowess are all Mars ruled. Yes, Venus is nice and sweet and what we like, but Mars is what turns us ON!! As another general rule of thumb, look to Mars in a woman’s chart to see what type of man that she would be sexually attracted to. Mars prompts us to ask: “What turns me on?” “What arouses my passions?” “What makes me angry? What is my partner like when they get mad?”
Song: ” 4 Leaf Clover” by Erykah Badu
Jupiter brings opportunity for growth and improvement in the sphere of relationships. The planet is symbolic of an open mind, humor and optimism. Jupiter is inspiring and suggests that we ask: “Does this person make me laugh?” “Are they tolerant of the viewpoints of others?” “How receptive is my partner to the bounty of life experience?”
Songs: “Make it Last Forever” by Keith Sweat, “I Ain’t No Joke” by Eric B & Rakim, “Discipline” by Gangstarr featuring Total, “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green
Saturn symbolizes maturity, stability and responsibility between two individuals. When we mention relationships and involve the ringed planet, we are in it for the long haul. Able to delay short term gratificationfor the greater rewards of endurance and commitment, Saturn’s compensation is directly equivalent to the amount of work and effort displayed. Between two people, Saturn cues us to ask questions such as: “Am I willing to be committed through thick and thin?” “Do I promise to be loyal and true?” “Do I have the level of maturity needed for a successful partnership?
The Outer Planets: Uranus, Neptune and Pluto:
Because the outer planets move relatively slowly, they will make natural aspects to each other in another person’s chart born in the same generation. From this perspective, their influence is minimal. However, when the outer planets of one individuals chart make contact with the other’s personal planets, the outer planet energy holds the influence.
Uranus liberates, awakens, changes, stimulates, unsettles, rebels.
Neptune refines, dissolves, distorts, spiritualizes, obscures, inspires, creates.
Pluto scrutinizes, eliminates, regenerates, heals, transforms, purges, destroys.
Next time, we will discuss the houses and their significance in synastry. I hope this piece gave everyone more food for thought about relationship astrology.
The potential for an “electric” amplification of insight. Flashes of wisdom and higher knowledge. An ever changing belief system and a progressive philosophical framework. The erratic crackpot. One who preaches dogmatically against anything “traditional”, just for the sake of it. An openness to impersonal truth and life’s bounty. The new age guru. Breaking free of the chains that bind us through some form of religion or spirituality. Dismissing the typical tourist routes and traveling off the beaten path. Your individuation is a direct result of your holistic worldview. Learning from several branches of knowledge and developing a comprehensive framework. A “minister’ of Astrology and esoteric arts. Beatnik wisdom. The “oddball” who is full of philosophical quips. Liberation from any form of dogma. The professor who shreds up the syllabus and goes for broke. The rogue scholar. The church of new thought. Sudden success. Flashes of luck. The staunch individualist who won’t listen to the ideas of others unless they happen to agree. The revolutionary preacher. The unpredictable missionary. Stealing fire from the gods. Right brain understanding. Garnering wisdom from unconventional sources.
As the author of this blog, I would be doing all of you a disservice if I didn’t tell you that I’m an optimist of the highest order.
There’s rarely a day that goes by where I don’t think about the capacity for people to transform their lives for the better, breaking the chains of confining ideologies and the potential for human development.
However, when we put our Astrological thinking caps on, one of the most important things for us to remember is that everything has a flip side.
I do the best I can to avoid placing planets, signs, aspects and houses into static and confining categories as “good” and “bad”.
Realistically speaking, we must realize that everything we know to be a favorable about a certain astrological sign, configuration or placement carries the same potentials to manifest unfavorably in one’s birth chart. This is important to know because with some self-observation, we could possibly avoid the traps and pitfalls that come with an underdeveloped part of ourselves.
We will not always exhibit the highest form of our astrological makeup, but the desire and intent to push forward and become more than what we are is what will help us avoid the excessive weight of belaboring over our imperfections.
It’s an exhilarating feeling when we witness our own growth, when we get a larger glimpse of what we’re meant to become.
The key is to build on that flash of insight or that stream of consciousness and integrate it into our psyche so we become more confident, and are able to radiate that to the world. To show gratitude and reverence for becoming closer to our cosmic blueprint is one of the greatest gifts we can bestow upon the universe.
In turn, staying grounded, and keeping a firm hold on the reality of our limitations has its own set of advantages.
Remember: Sunday’s best can turn into Monday’s worst.
Even though this may be the case, let’s be patient with ourselves.
In the realm of compatibility, when Mercury and Mars combine, it’s time for some “mind sex”, “but we don’t have to take our clothes of yet, we can light an incense and just chat, ” as said by the hip hop duo “Dead Prez”.
Mercury symbolizes the realm of thought. the inflow and outflow of information, the exchange of ideas, perceptions, and our communicative functions. Mars is the application of our will. The manner in which we assert ourselves and how we pursue what we want as well as the level of the sex drive.
When Mercury-Mars energy is shared by two people, the intellectual functions can be stirred and stimulated to the point of arousal.
Mind you, this doesn’t just have to be sexual, but there’s a shared dynamic of passion and “heat” which has the potential to be ever present in conversation. If there’s anything which requires joint mental assertion, there’s a good chance that these two people could tackle it together.
Often, even though couples may have been together for a considerable period of time, they know very little about the true desires of the other. Using the potential in Mercury-Mars contacts, you can change that.
Constructively, the open expression of desires, sexual or otherwise can be promoted and encouraged. Both the intellectual and primal “push” is present to realize them. Who knew that you had your own personal trainer and porn star all wrapped up in one??
The flip side of these contacts is that Mars energy can be rash. Combined with Mercury’s factual bent, which doesn’t really consider “right and wrong”, or “good or bad”, the partners may be ducking vicious verbal blows.
How you handle the areas in which you clash are of paramount importance.
Relationship astrology (a.k.a. synastry) is never as simple as just looking at a person’s sun sign.We’re multi-dimensional.
Ideally, we put our entire being into intimate relationships.
So, there are many different parts of the psyche that require consideration when comparing the charts of two individuals.
However, I’ve started writing a series of articles to open up the door for more expanded thought when dealing with the archetypal energies associated with each zodiac sign and how they may function within relationships as a means to fulfill core needs.
I look forward to having you on this journey with me.