First, a little self-disclosure here: I abhor the term “wifey”. So, you will see it written three times: one is aforementioned, another in the title of this piece and once on the image i decided to use.
The epidemic of being wife material has insidiously wormed its way into the psyche of Women and Men worldwide and threatens to do further damage in the future.
Every day, it becomes more shocking how the Men and Women who are the definers, advocates and sustainers of this mythology can be given so much power to shape the self-images and aspirations of such a large number of people.
Within this discussion, there’s a boasting of how one meets all the criteria to be a “good wife”. Or, a haunting disappointment and frustration that one isn’t measuring up to these highly retractable standards.
What’s NOT being said is this: The purveyors of the meme of wife material will be nowhere to be found in your support after you adjust yourself to their increasingly narrow realm of approval. There’s a dangerous game of bait and switch being played here.
It’s one thing if the largely self-generated vision to which you subscribe happens to coincide with what’s being presented by mainstream culture. However, it’s quite another scenario if you find yourself making monumentally strenuous efforts to resist your inner truth in order to better qualify you to be chosen for the soul deadening experience of living for someone else.
Trapped in this morass, you’re essentially handing over artistic license to your life to a hodgepodge of authors that will gladly write your story for you.
The deeper issue here is that of security, or the illusion of such. Does it provide a greater sense of safety to know that you’re regarded as “wife material” based on the prevailing standards of society?
The “IT” factor that you may be searching for can only be achieved by turning away from “the other” and relying on your internal resources. This is something that no one can take away from you. After all, “standards” can be stripped, changed, re-worked and manipulated at any time.
It may be an idea well worth considering to explore emotional and spiritual re-connection with the idea of marrying the partner within. Taking ownership and responsibility for your happiness or lack thereof.