There are several states of mind, when overtaxed, which can serve as grand inhibitors in our lives if we allow it.
If I were to start a list of such potential ways of thinking , those which contained a disproportionate amount of FEAR and DOUBT would most likely be right at the top.
Most likely, at some point in our lives, we’ve “thrown the towel” in.
We’ve conceded, allowing the thoughts of what may happen, or what has already transpired in our lives to place us on physical, mental and emotional lockdown.
Or, while we may have professedly “moved on” from certain people and situations, there’s still a slew of baggage that’s being unconsciously transferred no matter what “new” setting we find ourselves in. In many cases, those bags may have become so heavy, that it affects our ability to navigate other terrain.
Please lend me your eyes and ears as we discuss Venus, Saturn and intimate relationships.
One of the things that I love about Astrology is the astounding number of possibilities which are born when two planetary archetypes meet. The range of potentials is beyond our wildest imagination. In addition, every planet is a teacher and can offer tremendous assistance with its lessons.
Venus symbolizes our fundamental desire to relate and connect to another human being. It’s us “reaching out” and being reached out to in return. There’s a spirit of harmony and cooperation which permeates Venusian energy. The wish to co-exist peacefully, ‘work things out’ and smooth over differences while building bridges of the heart. In many ways, Venus is connected to what we find beautiful in this world and our capacity to embody that; to make our relationships ART.
Saturn’s energy is structural. It’s connected to forms. The ringed planet symbolizes concrete actualization of our goals through discipline, hard work and commitment. Saturn embodies the divine law of compensation in that we receive in the exact measure to which we give; the amount of effort which we put into something is precisely reflected into our returns.
Saturn’s lessons are related to the tests we need to meet in order to build greater stability in our lives. What’s essentially being asked of us is that we face our life challenges with an attitude of focus, responsibility and maturity.
When Venus and Saturn combine in an individual birth chart, there’s a potential to be severely tested within the realm of human relationships. The manner in which we negotiate this territory is of utmost importance.
If we look at what a test really consists of, we’re given one almost every day. When we’re reeling off of 3 hours of sleep, the alarm clock sounds and we know we have to get up for work. Or, when we actually get to our job and we’re “tested” by our employer to justify our position. Even if we work at home, we’re testing ourselves to see how much we can produce for that given day.
When we get to the crux of Venus-Saturn in relationships, the tests only scratch the surface. The deeper part is confronting and eliminating the potential fears that we have of not being able to pass them. Not being good enough, smart enough, thin enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, cool enough, etc….
On the dysfunctional side of Venus-Saturn, the picture looks like someone who is inhibited, or blocked in love because they feel like they don’t deserve it, or they don’t have the ability to measure up to some artificial construct they’ve created. The idea of a relationship feels like a weight because the thought of getting close to someone would only exacerbate those fears.
The defense mechanism or “hiding place” is to rationalize that “no one wants me” anyway, or the devaluing of how much time and effort others put into maintaining their relationships:
“Whew….. I don’t know how two people spend SOOOO much time together… I couldn’t do it.” “There’s no way i could talk to my partner on the phone EVERY DAY…”
This line of thinking says :
if I trick myself into believing all of this is “one big hassle”, it will alleviate my desire to enter into a relationship and EVER having to be tested.
However, what’s being missed here is that a great deal of effort is probably being expended to restrict or suppress these desires, when it could actually be re-directed in healthier ways to obtain what we actually want.
If we’re able to understand these fears for what they are and bring them to light, there’s a much lesser chance that they’ll show up as excess baggage in our relationships or pursuance thereof, and we’ll then be able to work with the constructive potentials of Venus-Saturn:
responsible partnership, operating with integrity in relationships, taking ownership in how we connect to other people, solidly defining our relationship needs, setting healthy boundaries between ourselves and others, putting conscious effort into working at relationships, valuing long term commitment over short term gratification, summoning the fortitude to endure difficult times, exhibiting discipline and self-control with our partners, and choosing adult relating.
When it comes to Venus-Saturn aspects in our birth charts, the willingness we exhibit towards confronting our fears about relationships can go a long way in making a difference in whether we become the committed partner or the “bag lady”.