It’s often said that the two most important days in one’s life are the day that you’re born and the day that you discover why.
When it comes to what I refer to as one’s “birthright”, I’m a firm believer that one must actively claim and take ownership of it, in order to set a conscious, intentional direction for one’s life. If this is done successfully, one has an internal compass to rely on as a filter, or a “litmus test” when faced with difficult decisions or information that must be evaluated critically.
While Astrology can certainly play a part in this process, I’d like to encourage those reading this to acknowledge it as a possibility, but also think beyond it for a minute. This message is applicable to ANYONE, irrespective of the composition of your birth chart.
Through thoughtful conversation and observation, I’ve noticed that there’s an active anxiety looming when it comes to those who want to embrace their calling. Also, for those who are actively seeking, or who have already made significant transformations in the course of their lives.
This fear is directly related to an over-concern with the approval of others and the perceptions of those who are, or were close to us during the course of our lives. The people that we would normally regard as “family and friends”.
Although we may have been initially flattered in the early stages of our growth and development when others told us “don’t change”, or expressed to us how much they love us “exactly as we are”, we soon realized that it was not only limiting, but also impossible to remain the same person with all of the progress that’s taking place in our lives.
My message is clear to all of those reading this:
If you ever plan on getting where you want to be in your life, you’re going to have to accept the reality that there are some people who your growth is going to piss off and confuse. Often, your changes upset people because they now have to find a different way of relating to you than they did before, and they’re struggling with finding that flexibility. Of course, that won’t be how it’s presented to you.
Most likely, there will be a projection placed on you of sorts which will attempt to highlight a deficiency or weakness on your part, which is directly attributed to your behavior, because your development and its vast possibilities activates the insecurities of others.
I’m writing this to encourage you to claim your autonomy and resist allowing others to snatch it from you under any circumstances. It’s perfectly okay to allow others the space to disapprove of who you are, or be mad at you, or to feel whatever and however they wish.
Living an authentic life is not for the faint of heart. Nor is it for those who feel the need to accommodate or please everyone at every turn and become uneasy at the slightest hint of other’s discomfort. This includes the aforementioned “family and friends”.
You don’t need everyone’s approval to respect, claim and embrace your calling in this world. You don’t need a “co-sign” to become more of who and what you are. You only need to GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION.
Somehow, we’ve developed a fear of others being displeased with what we do in this world. So much that there’s a stigma attached to disappointing or letting others down, which leaves us vulnerable to manipulation by outside forces.
If we truly wish to claim our birthright, use our compass and hop into the driver’s seat of our lives, it’s important to let others know, in no uncertain terms that they must grapple with the demons and insecurities that eat at them on THEIR OWN time. We must make it absolutely clear that this isn’t our obligation or concern.
We must also understand that people have a way of getting over these things. If they don’t, that’s on them. It’s necessary to understand whose feelings you’re responsible for (which would be yours) as not to shoulder obligations that don’t belong to you.
Remember that control and oppression aren’t displays of love. Remain aware that people can be envious of you and have no outlet for it and can easily cloak that negative emotion into a veneer of “love”, and place it on your front doorstep. Reject this disingenuous attempt at gifting and consult your inner compass.
If you’re presently in a difficult situation with friends, family or a partner, don’t be too hard on yourself. Turn that criticism time into constructive actions. Forgive yourself and realize that sometimes we have a way of working ourselves into situations where the person we’ve grown to love and appreciate (Us) becomes unrecognizable. It’s precisely here where we STOP and evaluate WHY, and under what conditions we’ve allowed that to transpire.
Trusting yourself is important. It’s crucial to evaluate if your position is worth altering solely on the basis of someone’s emotional reaction to it. Just think about that for a minute.
I realize that this isn’t easy by any means. I’m certainly not attempting to come across as someone who just says that we snap our fingers and do this. Many of us have been entrenched in years and years of conditioning.
For many of us, there are feelings of guilt, at least initially , because we feel like we “let someone down”.However, it’s important to ask ourselves about the angst we would have to live with if we never made the leap towards our own liberation.
When it really comes down to it, it may benefit you to silence yourself and ask yourself how you feel inside. How do you feel about your life? How do you feel about your direction? Remember: the world is fickle.
As we’ve seen and continue to witness countless numbers of times, the world is busy embracing you today and “cancelling” you tomorrow. Opening its arms and then, hours later, mercilessly analyzing you with a fine-toothed comb and criticizing you if you don’t meet its often fabricated standards. Learn to listen to and trust the deepest part of yourself.
Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that the dynamics of envy can permeate even the most intimate relationships. Those close to you who claim to “love” you may secretly (or not so secretly) covet what you have.
Sometimes, in the intimate relationship realm, one person becomes envious of another because what they feel is “blocked” or unobtainable within themselves, the other person seems to express and embody almost effortlessly. This can create animosity.
So, out of fear, the threatened person seeks out ways that they can restrict that energy rather than support and encourage it, which would be more of an indicator of what a healthy relationship consists of.
Understand that it’s possible for a person to admire you AND despise you for the exact same attributes. However, in ANY event, no matter what, it’s important for you to claim your birthright and use your internal compass.
No matter who may throw a disapproving vibe: claim your gifts, claim what belongs to you and don’t ever allow another person to deprive you of what fuels your life force.
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