Saturn-Ascendant Transits : “Mature Lenses”

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Clear definition and organization of personal direction.

Serious business & personal mastery.

Maturation of the “lens” through which you process experience.

Many of us have read ad nauseum, the narrative of Saturn portrayed as the great malefic. We’ve been instructed to brace ourselves and fear the worst, and consider it to be a victory if we evade its evil rays until major transits involving the planet pass.

Taking ownership of and responsibility for the filter through which we perceive and process our experiences isn’t a job for the faint of heart. It’s those individuals who are steadfastly dedicated to doing the hard work of refining, questioning, doubting and earnestly aiming to see clearly that benefit from Saturn’s transiting contacts.

If you’re a person who regularly veers toward the path of least resistance, or what will demand the LEAST out of you then you may find Saturn’s transits to be sharply difficult and demanding.

However, if you’re looking to stretch yourself, suspending the comfortable for the developmental and what might or could be for what IS, you have a sturdy and reliable cosmic partner to work with.

When transiting Saturn makes contact with the Ascendant, you’re being asked to re-structure and re-organize the vehicle you use to navigate the world. The calling is to temper and refine your approach in order to draw more mature and wise observations through a serious and authentic self-presentation.

It’s paramount to remember that contemplating a more disciplined and focused approach to living isn’t designed to detract anything from you. In fact, the purpose is to institute a greater degree of self-integration so that what you think, say and do becomes more congruent.

In order to navigate this transit with maximum effectiveness, you may find it necessary to engage in solemn periods of solitude where you get real with yourself. Acquiring the patience to extract the genuine meaning, and clearing out the b.s. and excess where people, places and things are concerned can take you a long way toward realizing your essential core; complete with all of your strengths, victories, foibles and follies in tow.

If you’re expecting an overnight cure for issues you’ve been grappling with for years, or a quick fix solution for backed up neurosis, you’re barking up the wrong tree. The willingness to delay short-term gratification and approach life with an internal confidence and commitment to reaping long-term benefits from your efforts is what you need.

The understanding of pain, not necessarily as perpetual agony, but as a teacher and informer of your limits and boundaries can re-frame your perspective toward this cycle in your life.

You’re being asked to learn about where you end and other people begin and to understand that their feelings aren’t necessarily going to be yours and vice versa. Harnessing the ability to move forward in your actions without consensus will be instrumental in your development.

Often, we have a tendency to mask our pain, doubts and fears through overcompensation, or immersion in the areas of life which are sure to numb or desensitize us. If you want to use this transit in a growth oriented manner, allowing yourself to identify, feel, and release yourself from the pain associated with troublesome relationships or concepts which have controlled, blocked or hemmed you in from a stable and concrete self-image is essential.

A portion of Saturn’s reality principle involves discovering everything we ARE and everything we ARE NOT. To understand that living in truth naturally allows for more accurate assessments of our character. To be able to celebrate your progress and also re-strategize on your missteps.

In addition during this time of Saturn contacting the Ascendant, the need to “live loudly” has the potential to give way to a more self-reflective humility that welcomes the wisdom gained through first hand experiences. Whatever your life “slogan’ may have been up to this point; you can embrace the responsibility that comes with actually LIVING IT as a testament to all that you proclaim. As a matter of fact, if you’re intent on leaving your comfort zone, you have the potential to bear the standard in accordance with what you wish to exemplify.

Through consistency and reliability you can build a solid reputation. Your rewards include the possibility of an increased status and recognition for your personal achievements, but more importantly the satisfaction of knowing you’re operating from an internal locus of control and a center fortified with integrity. Your main objective is to serve as your own support and evaluation system, irrespective of applause, sour faces and the like.

This transit qualifies as a test of endurance. It raises questions surrounding your willingness be self-reliant in the shaping of your self-projection into the world. It’s a time, not to point fingers at everyone else, but to carefully examine your reactions to the reality that life is revealing to you. If you find it to be unpleasant or disconcerting, it’s your job to investigate and identify the root causes of such reactions.

Saturn not only connected with delays and obstacles, but also the level of fortitude and perseverance we’re willing to employ to combat them. So, while there may be challenges, they rarely surface independent of the possibility of meeting them in constructive and meaningful ways.

In his classic “Cosmos and Psyche” Richard Tarnas illustrates the multi-dimensional nature of Saturn’s symbolism:

Saturn governs the consequences of error, guilt, pessimism, inferiority, depression, deprivation; yet it also gives us the capacity for rigor, order, concentration, endurance, seriousness, fidelity, responsibility, maturity.”

Questions and themes concerning time expenditure also loom in the midst during this transit .You must consider asking yourself what, if anything of tangible or redeeming value is being produced as a result of where you choose to direct your focus.

How are you distributing your personal energies in relation to the seconds, minutes and hours that comprise your days?

In his ‘Saturnesque’ business classic “The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of The Learning Organization”, author Peter Senge outlines the concept of personal mastery, which is surely an appropriate and worthwhile focus for this transit.

According to Senge,

personal mastery is the discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively.” 

One of the major points of emphasis of transiting Saturn making contact with your Ascendant is to challenge you to integrate self-mastery as a daily practice. In other words, its concepts are designed to become an actual discipline for you

When mastery becomes incorporated as a way of life or process, rather than a passing moment or possession, there becomes a continual clarification and affirmation of what’s important to you and what you can do without. The questions you ask in order to evaluate your development center around whether the relationships and activities you’re currently choosing to engage in are in accordance with your overall vision and purpose.

Senge notes that people with a high level of personal mastery share several basic characteristics such as:

  1. They have a special sense of purpose that lies behind their visions and goals – for such a person, a vision is a calling rather than simply a good idea.
  2. They see “current reality” as an ally, not an enemy.
  3. They have learned how to perceive and work with forces of change rather than resist those forces.
  4. They are deeply inquisitive, committed to continually seeing reality more and more accurately.
  5. They feel connected to others and life itself, yet sacrifice none of their uniqueness
  6. They feel as if they are part of a larger creative process, which they can influence but cannot unilaterally control.
  7. They Live in continual learning mode, acutely aware of their ignorance, incompetence and their growth areas
  8. They are deeply self- confident

As stated earlier, in order to benefit from any cycles concerning Saturn, you must be in it for the long haul. This gives you the time needed to define re-define, hone, sharpen, organize, shape and re-shape your long-term vision. Through all of the re-modeling, it’s still important to be clear about what type of “house” you actually want.

You can experience satisfying personal gains during this transit if you’re willing to put the time and energy into discovering exactly who you are and what you want. In addition committing yourself to truth, not as a final word or ultimate stop, but an internal promise to ferret out your own tactics of self-deception which keep you out of step with a more informative reality.

The potential for mastery awaits you, and that’s serious business.

References:

The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of the Learning Organization” by Peter Senge (New York: Doubleday/Currency, ©1990)

Cosmos and Psyche: Intimations of a New World View” by Richard Tarnas (Plume/Penguin Books, 2006)

photo credit: Cocaine Models Management

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Moon-Ascendant Aspects

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Those with Lunar aspects to the Ascendant in the natal chart tend to involve acute perception, self-protection, intuition and emotional security needs as ingredients in processing their life experience.

Their strength resides in a deep awareness of the “fields of energy” that may surround them at the time. An example would be: they could potentially walk right into a room and feel the “vibe”, whether that’s joy, animosity, anger or lightheartedness. With this aspect reigning in one’s chart, a person would need to come to terms with these facets of their being and cease feeling like they have to explain to other people why they have a gut feeling, or to why they’ve decided to follow the guidance of their inner promptings.

While the Moon-Ascendant person is forever filtering their experiences on the basis of searching for “safe ground”, they’re perfectly capable of providing a secure, intimate space for other people to feel understood and fully listened to in a non-judgmental manner that exudes a warm and caring touch.

The developmental potential here is rooted in the premise that other people will open up to you based on their comfort level and you may be able to extract genuine responses from others couldn’t because your strategies lend themselves toward encouraging confiding and revealing confidences.

An often overlooked component of the Moon is its relation to roots, culture, heritage and ethnicity. With a connection to the Ascendant, these factors could also flavor the way that you perceive the world around you.

For example: if you’re an African-American Woman, you may find a need to incorporate that “lens” into the way that you see the world and this may be a necessary frame of reference from which all of the information that you contact is evaluated. (This example can surely be extended outside of this context, so feel free to insert examples which suit your particular situation).

When  integrated in a healthy manner, those with this aspect have projected themselves into the world with warmth and as someone who truly cares about people. The challenge comes with understanding the need to preserve one’s emotional resources as to have some left for the self-care that is an essential ingredient to one’s health.

Problems arise when you feel depleted because you’ve given support and time so extensively and begin to feel like so little has been extended to you in return.  The message here is that ultimately, your security base must be your own inner core.

Photo: Under the Saltire Flag

Gemini Sun, Capricorn Moon : “The Light & The Heavy”

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©2017 by Sagittarian Mind Consulting

 

The core of your being is illuminated by maintaining a youthful, breezy adaptability, as there’s an uncanny  ability to adjust to life’s situations irrespective of what’s thrown at you.

However, many times this is perceived as a lack of seriousness about life and that’s far from the case. Inside, you struggle from bouts of inadequacy because you always think that you should be “better” in relation to anything you touch or any interaction you have. There’s a tight grip on your heart and the playfulness serves as a way to ease that weight.

Taking responsibility for your emotional life is one of your greatest lessons to learn because at your highest potential you’re designed to live a life of integrity where the public and private you is aligned. You don’t have to fake it. The reality of your feelings is one of your greatest allies. So, curbing the tendency to bury significant emotions under a veneer of jokes only enables you to further evade the root of  issues that need to be addressed.

Once that accountability is established, you’ll feel more grounded and confident. In addition, you’re able to more effectively deal with the feelings of others with an air of detachment which doesn’t say ” I don’t care”, but rather finds an objective space which will prevent you from being swayed into unhealthy decision-making.

With your Sun/Moon blend, the “youth” and the adult can work in unison. Understand that all work and no play indeed makes you dull, but also there are definitely matters in life which require the sober, ponderous and strategic approach that is naturally yours.

Balancing your sociability and solitude is also a key theme when it comes to your cosmic signature. You need time to process things and this needs to be accepted.  You will need to find the sweet spot between focus and variety. You can’t be everywhere at once and this can scatter your energies as well as your brain.

If you’re able to successfully navigate this terrain, you will undoubtedly feel as if your ideas and your life in general has gained an “elastic pragmatism” where you can entertain possibilities, but have the common sense to know which ones are worth entertaining and which ones are merely flights of fancy.

At best, you possess a solid, hard-won emotional savvy along with a mental agility that can strip people and situations down to the bare bones. At worst you refuse to allow yourself the space needed to address your inner needs and overcompensate by convincing yourself and others that your life is nothing but fun and games.

Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Aquarius Rising

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The freedom to circulate like air fuels your vitality. The sooner you recognize your many facets and realize that it’s impossible for you to be trapped in any type of box- the better.

Your emotional needs center around issues of self-confidence and honest acceptance of your uniqueness. You must feel validated from the inside in order to be fulfilled. Much of your life’s journey is about exercising youthful curiosity and asking the right questions, which will yield useful information and expanded understanding.

The primary lens through which you process your experience is one which challenges what some would refer to as “customary” or “normal”.

For you, the status quo is something to be questioned at all costs. You seek to serve and uplift humanity on a large scale and will find that exercising your ability for objective detachment will allow you to see people and issues from a much wider view, which automatically increases everything you’re able to take into your storehouse.

For your being to illuminate, it’s important that you feel literate in the most authentic sense. To be engaged in that which stimulates you energizes your life force . Even if you come across ideas which may be “conflicting” , you somehow have a knack for understanding and navigating life’s dualities.

For you, the key component which needs to be incorporated is genuine self-esteem.  That is, the ability to develop your personal identity and subsequently attach a value to it. Do you like what you see? How do you feel about what you’re becoming?

Because the work of the Gemini Sun is done through the Leo Moon, your specialness must be solidified and enjoyed before you can do the work of exploring all of your dimensions. It’s also important to recognize that rejection of certain parts of yourself can limit your capacity to connect with others and this will debilitate that Aquarius rising “common touch” that you would regularly display under more healthy circumstances.

Enjoy being yourself with all of your quirks, never stop asking relevant questions and use differences in people as a vehicle to gain more understanding of yourself and others.

Image: 4Tests Blog

Astrology & Compatibility: Eliminating the Myth of the “Perfect Match”

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“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

Where intimate relationships are concerned, there seems to be an ongoing debate regarding the significance of zodiac signs and astrology in general.

Some think astrology is quite helpful as a tool for self knowledge and it’s ability to highlight the themes and tendencies which may be present in their personal relationships, while others cast astrology as containing minimal merit and even playing  on the naivete and desperation of individuals who are searching for answers as to why they cannot find their dream partner or soulmate.

In true Sagittarian fashion, I’m going to give it to you straight.

Astrology is a strikingly profound art. When used constructively, practically, and with honorable intentions, it can reveal a great deal of valuable information regarding our compatibility with another individual.

 

However, what it doesn’t reveal is the level of consciousness at which we, or the partners we are comparing ourselves with are living out in our birth charts. Astrology does not tell us how mature we are or how accountable we are for our behavior.

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In synastry,(a.k.a. relationship astrology) having a “good” chart does not let you off the hook in maintaining the relationship any more than having a beautiful front lawn excuses you from mowing and caring for it.

Conversely, while a “difficult” chart may indicate challenges, if addressed earnestly, the two individuals may produce an inseperable union built on integrity, trust and mutual respect.

If we truly plan on using astrology for guidance in dating and relationships the way it was intended, the best method of operation is for us to know ourselves first.

Let’s have our charts interpreted by a competent professional astrologer. Or, at the minimum, explore a reliable free website to obtain a copy of our birth charts.

Through active participation we will be vastly more equipped to delve into, and evaluate, with discrimination, the wealth of information available in books and cyberspace. It is a requirement that we develop a thorough understanding of our own astrological dynamics, or we will find ourselves forever uttering the dreaded sentences:

“I’ll never date a (insert zodiac sign) again” or 
“I don’t date (insert zodiac sign)”

For example, let’s say that you are now praising the celestial gods because you’ve found your “ideal” Pisces Man/Woman, and it appears that you’ll never have to deal with the cold, remote and impersonal Aquarian energies that give you the heebie- jeebies.

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However, you never looked deeply enough into the totality of astrology to find out that he/she’s an Aquarius rising with a stellium of the moon, mercury and venus in aquarius in the 11th house. True, the individual may have a Pisces sun, but a major portion of their chart reflects the same Aquarian flavoring that you were so intent upon escaping from.

We may need to participate in some serious self-examination and ask ourselves honest questions regarding whether we’ve discovered another convenient scapegoat on which to pin our anxieties, insecurities and frustrations.

Or, we sincerely want to incorporate astrology as a viable system of assistance and insight, into our relationships.

Another point worth considering is: through astrological research,  we may  discover that what’s holding us back is US.

OUR fears, phobias, baggage, complexes, etc… which we have conveniently projected upon the Scorpios, Sagittarians and Libra’s of the world. Maybe we’re not personifying the highest energies of our individual planetary placements and relationships. Difficult to read? Yes. Worth considering? Also yes.

 

When we reduce or remove accountability from the equationand minimize the power of our own efforts at self-improvement, we have not only failed astrology, but more importantly failed ourselves.

Working in our best interest, we allow astrology to serve us as a tool, we don’t serve IT, coupled with the self-deception that some irreversible cosmic fate awaits us.

So, who is your astrological dream match?

The answer is YOU.

The better YOU that you’re becoming. The YOU that you’re sincerely and consistently working to improve. YOU, with all of your strengths, talentsgifts, flaws and challenges. The wiser YOU, who, through experience has become more enlightened, liberated from past hurts, and more loving.

The life-affirming and positive YOU, who is ready to embark on the journey of becoming fully engaged in relating to another human being in an honest, intimate and heartfelt manner. Respecting and honoring your individual destinies, while sharing a collective quest.

Know and become yourself, and watch your world expand.         

Image:   Her Campus                    

Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Gemini Rising

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If there ever was a need to dig deeply AND penetrate precisely into this thing called life, it’s reflective of this Sun/Moon blend.  Your fuel is efficiency and analysis. You’re energized by being able to size up a situation or person and instantly conclude what can be “tightened up” or made better.  In short, you have the potential to be the ultimate efficiency expert. However, that’s not all.

Your emotional needs call for deep involvement and depth exploration. After all, you want to be regarded as significant and in control of your environment. What sustains you is knowing that there’s an opportunity to go beyond the superficial gloss and get right down to the nitty-gritty of something, even if it has repugnant undertones. The gifts of tremendous focus and intensity are your birthright.

Your perception of life is multi-faceted and curious. The lens through which you process experience can be adjusted to fit the specific circumstance of the situation. Intellectual inquiry is the vehicle which allow you to better serve humanity, which is what you’re here to do. it’s important that you make the distinction between service and servitude, for you are no one’s slave and not to be taken advantage of, and woe to the person who makes attempts to do so.

If you’re self-aware, your level of psychological sophistication tends to be well-developed. But, there’s a deep fear of losing control and becoming vulnerable which can lead to an obsessive need to control the elements around you through the same manipulative means that you despise in other people.

At your best, you have an incredible versatility and others feel deeply understood by you because of your blend of razor-sharp logic and emotional intelligence. At your worst, you have a slick tongue that plays mind games and there’s a private enjoyment in withholding your true thoughts and feelings as a control mechanism.

Image : StyleWe Blog 

Taurus Sun, Libra Moon, Sagittarius Rising

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Your vitality is fueled through the enjoyment of the senses and optimally, your life is experienced at an earthy and tangible level. What you can immediately and decidedly “put your hands on” serves as a reliable  barometer of authenticity.

In addition, you need to feel like everything is “right where it should be” in your life. Not so much of an exact equal balance, but like a recipe, in a proportion that pleases you and is agreeable to your life goals.  You’re nourished through an orientation to the “other”.  Rarely frightened by opposing points of view, you’re more likely to seek understanding as to use your newly discovered insights as a means to develop a more congruent self.

Your lens for processing experience is one of a teaching and learning orientation. Everything is approached in a manner which questions and seeks meaning with the goal of placing things into a larger context in order to soak up holistic understanding . You relish at the thought of life as an ever broadening  panorama. Your world is looked at telescopically and opportunities to incorporate eclecticism are frequently sought.

Establishing the type of grounding which will support a bold and fearless dive into the larger social arena is key.

Photo : bestcolleges.com

 

Libra Sun, Gemini Moon, Scorpio Rising

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Contained within this specific astrological signature is the emotional need to circulate both intellectually and socially. One is nourished through maintaining an openness to fresh information and a variety of interests. This orientation supports and reflects aspirations of social interactions and friendships based on equality, kindness and good will.

In this thing called life,  you’ve been blessed with the type of navigational device which requires deep and significant interactions and involvement with the world. Inherent in this journey is a risk factor where your vulnerability is concerned. However, there are also the potential rewards of a greater self-awareness and the neutralization of the fear that comes with authentic self-revelation.

At the heart of it all, your Sun, Moon and Ascendant blend contains a youthful curiosity about everyone and everything, and it’s important to become comfortable in your own skin and with your own versatility as it can prove to be of great benefit to you and ultimately help you shine as the type of person who’s welcomed into diverse social circles. Much of this is dependent on the sincerity of your interest in others. Being genuine will take you far. However, a hidden agenda of controlling  everyone around you so won’t feel “unmasked” is sure to derail you.

While not readily apparent on the surface, you enter the world with a desire to be deeply known, but there’s a reoccurring thought of how much it will “cost you”. After all, being naked in front of others is not your forte.

When the energy invested in self-protection is wisely transmuted, allowing your raw feelings to surface without labeling it as a loss of strength, you’ll be that much closer to tapping into a wider range of your human adaptability and can move more fluidly and gracefully , thereby “loosening your grip” and allowing your personal expression to be your art.

This facet of your makeup can prove to be especially important in your personal relationships. It’s worth reiterating that your navigational device is honed with potential laser sharp and piercing “spidey senses”, which tempt you to “call it like you see it.” because you feel as if you can’t live with yourself any other way.

It would benefit you considerably to realize that everyone isn’t built this way and your astro signature contains more than enough adaptability to skillfully temper your approach and dole out your insights at a level that’s appropriate for whomever you’re dealing with at the time.

Astrologer Jodie Forrest states:

“For Scorpio rising, life should be confronted with honesty, intensity a commitment to deep self-awareness and a willingness to examine all taboos. This doesn’t mean to break all of them. It just means that no area of life or death should be barred from the laser sharp scrutiny of this ascendant.”

When the Libra Sun and Gemini Moon are synthesized into the equation, the message is to learn to enjoy the process of discovery and while on the journey, forming relationships which are conducive to exploring ALL of your dimensions without unhealthy fear, judgment or excessive and counterproductive self-protection.

Notes: “The Ascendant” by Jodie Forrest (Seven Paws Press)

Photo:  wearandwhere.co.uk

How To Work With Conjunctions In the Birth Chart : Focusing Energies

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If you’re new to Astrology, you’re probably trying to make sense of the slew of new terms that are being thrown your way all at once.  Chances are, just as you’ve figured out and obtained a handle on what ONE thing means- BAM! You’re hit with something else to decipher. I think you’ll find that this is all in the adventure.

The term that we’ll be covering in this blog post is CONJUNCTION.

The formal definition of a conjunction is:

“An aspect maintained by two or more planets posited within the same degree of longitude. It is sometimes called the aspect of prominence in that it brings the workings of the planets involved into a prominent position relative to the chart.”

Most Astrologers list a conjunction as one of the major aspects. However, it can be debated that it’s not an actual aspect because of the non-separation of the planets. Either way you look at it, the conjunction is the easiest to spot in a birth chart, because all of the planets are in the same sign. There are also instances where a conjunction would be possible between neighboring signs.

Some Astrologers use what are called orbs, which are spheres of influence between the planets to determine the relative strength of the aspect. I use the Whole Sign house system where I look at planets in the same sign as being conjunct no matter how far they are apart. I’ve found that planets in the same sign, no matter how distant are speaking the same language.

In your birth chart, where there are conjunctions there is UNITY and FOCUS.

The planets are like friends that are inseparable and you never see one without the other. If it’s a multiple conjunction it’s like a squad that hangs tight together. What ONE does, all of them do.

Using the chart above as a reference, we see that there’s a tremendous Sagittarian presence and the “crew” that’s involved is the Sun, Mercury, Neptune, Venus and the Ascendant.  All of these would play an important role in the individual’s identity development, as they’re situated in the first house.

Potentially, the portrait of this person would be one of an individual taking the most broad and all- encompassing view possible in seeking authentic truth and asking the enduring, large- scale questions that ponder our existence in this universe.

There’s a sense of someone who also seeks to educate and bring out the innate understanding in each and every one of us. Also, a desire to express opinions is prevalent as well as a universal way of relating based on personal growth and expansion.

The processes which are indicated by the planets in question operate in an undifferentiated manner through the psyche of this person.

This is merely a sample interpretation. However, if you have a conjunction (or multiple ones) in your birth chart, it’s of the utmost importance to explore the planetary energies which are in combination as well as the sign that they’re located in. There’s a potency and concentration here and where that’s the case, talents have the opportunity to emerge. Please check it out and I would love to know what you discover.

Reference: The Arkana Dictionary of Astrology by Fred Gettings

Moon-Ascendant Contacts in Synastry: “Emotional Understanding”

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When it comes to intimate relationships, emotional understanding is undoubtedly one of the most vital pieces to the puzzle of success.

Between two individuals, when major contacts are present between the Moon and Ascendant, the potential for such a dynamic is just waiting to be realized. In my opinion, it matters less whose Moon or Ascendant is doing the contacting and more, that an open, heartfelt display of feelings be honored between the two parties.

The potential attraction exists because one feels secure in the presence of the other based on their overall identity projection. It’s like both people have sniffed out an invisible “shame-free” zone in which they can operate in. A haven where judgement is pushed to the side in favor of unconditional support.

Moon-Ascendant contacts suggest that the emotional states of both parties will be easily revealed to the other, so there’s really no use in trying to hide that bad day at the office because you didn’t receive the promotion. Yeah…. you’re gonna talk about it!!

This can be beautiful, or quite troubling at times because even though both partners are on the “same page”, one may be reading far ahead of the other.  Also, with so much free flowing emotion, it’s important to remember that advantages of gaining some distance so each person owns their “stuff” and resists projecting it on to the other.

Overall, the opportunities which exist within these contacts are a sense of safety; of never feeling “under siege”. This sets up the possibility of a fearless display of love. The type of relationship where anything can be shared with either party and the responsibility that comes with having the heart of the other in the palm of one’s hand is taken with the utmost seriousness and handled with absolute care.