Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Libra

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As the recipient of this Venus/Mars blend in your birth chart, your relational needs center around intensity and emotional nakedness.

It’s difficult for you to accept anything less than feeling deeply connected to your significant other or whomever you choose to engage with.

Whether you realize it or not, there’s a dance happening inside you which requires the careful navigation of its rhythms. It consists of allowing yourself to see both your beauty as well as the ugly beast within.

If there’s anything you feel that should remain in the dark “from prying eyes”, for your benefit, you have to face it without running away. In fact, there will be no peace until you do so. You have immense potential to heal and be healed through your personal relationships, but you must come to terms with the cost of admission.

Your blend suggests the application of energy in service of harmony, and this is honorable. However, avoiding the rawness of touchy issues just for the sake of serenity won’t cut it in this lifetime. Your inner peace could be very well earned through trials of fire.

We all know that sex faces aren’t pretty, but you have to let the grimace be what it is, and let the moans out- chances are you’ll feel a liberation of emotional toxins and will be on the way to experiencing the equilibrium that you value so much. Anything which can help you to reveal yourself in a no holds barred capacity is your friend. In order to create a trusting environment, you TOO must lay some cards on the table. Maybe not *every* card just yet, but enough to let others know you mean serious business.

Will you share your depths? Or will you look out the peephole until you think everything is “nice and neat”?

Photo Credit : Answers Africa

 

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The Cancer-Cancer Relationship

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Features and Benefits: You both speak the same language when it comes to intimacy, and it doesn’t have to be conveyed in the form of a 200 page thesis- it just “IS”. Even if there’s a misunderstanding, it’s felt immediately and the giving nature of the union gives way to soothing the issue a.s.a.p., so the warmth, peace and security you both seek can be restored pronto.

Wow… that sounds great, but we all know it’s not the entire picture.

Where there are pools of emotion, sometimes things can tend to get a little clouded. So, we must remember that our personal reactions to things may give us INFORMATION, but not necessarily the whole story.

You both understand the language which I mentioned earlier due to your innate sensitivity to emotional undercurrents. Because you both aspire to creating safety, you may retreat to your private islands in your mind and heart until you feel like there’s no threat.

Your disagreements may indeed stem from what you both feel nurtures true security. Is it a promise or a vow? (till death do us part?) A ring? A family, or two people with steady incomes?

The “golden seal” in this union is a mutual agreement that it’s never in doubt, that issues can be worked on even if they’re tough. The minute that one person (or both) create doubts about being counted on…

Well… you know the rest of the story, folks.

©2017 by Sagittarian Mind Consulting

Leo Sun, Taurus Moon : “Stay Shinin'”

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Earth and radiance.

Your “shine” is created through the recognition and harnessing of your inner value. Until you’re able to explore in all of its facets, what you’re worth, your personal projection ceases to generate the heat and light you aspire to.

Recognition, admiration and attention as a regal being ignites your spirit. Ideally this status is for the purposes of illuminating the potential in others as well as yourself, and allowing your expression to be a gift which emits rays of creativity than one that blinds with an inflated ego.

Building yourself up is essential, but the question remains as to how you’ll share what you’ve gathered with the larger collective.  Delving deeper into your feelings and curbing the impulse to accept them at face value is something which can benefit you.

The ability to burn away any material which causes inertia, rigidity or an one dimensional outlook is your friend. Understand that you can simultaneously maintain fixity of purpose and accept your ever changing, unfolding nature of becoming.

Your theme song is “Stay Shinin’ by Dynasty featuring Talib Kweli

You can listen right here:

Photo by bruce mars from Pexels

Venus in Virgo : “Discriminating Love”

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“Everything keeps its best nature only by being put to its best use.” – Phillips Brooks

As we explore the method that’s Venus in Virgo, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Virgo lens, will be emphasized.

For those with Venus placed in Virgo in the natal chart, Love is utilitarian. Love is continuous improvement. Love is pragmatic.  Love is service. Love is efficiency. Love is careful and continuous analysis. Love is health. Love is selective and discriminating. Love is paying attention.

With this arrangement, love needs are sought to be fulfilled in an environment which calls for the use of one’s faculties of discernment. While Virgo’s complementary sign, Pisces, is geared toward merging and unification, the Virgin’s direction consists of recognition and understanding of the difference between on thing and another.

For Venus in Virgo individuals “relationship competence” is of utmost importance, as a healthy developmental direction to which to proceed in puts emphasis on doing whatever is required to make relationships the best that they can be and operate in a healthy manner. These actions include picking the relationship apart, examining each facet thoroughly and determining its overall usefulness. As time goes on, the conclusions that one draws about what’s helpful and necessary for their partnerships will most likely change as a matter of principle and as an indicator of striving toward excellence.

One’s growth is naturally enveloped in the process of employing sound judgment in partnerships, and using these same unions as a vehicle for one’s own refinement and the betterment of the partner. Ideally, one’s relationships should work efficiently, like a well-oiled machine.

When placed in action, Venus in Virgo correlates well with the love language that Gary Chapman refers to as “Acts of Service” in his bestselling book “The 5 Love Languages”.

“Acts of service” consists of doing things that you know that your partner would want you to do or appreciate; seeking to please her or him by serving them. One would naturally know what their partner wanted after careful listening, analysis and observation which are all mercurial functions that are “at home” with the sign Virgo.

Also, as Chapman emphasizes, these acts of service would require thought, planning, time, effort and energy and if they’re done with a positive spirit, they would be expressions of love.

In regard to this placement “discrimination” is a key phrase. And, depending on our life circumstances, we may have only been exposed to the negative connotations associated with this term, which deal with the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, gender or sexual orientation.

However, there’s another side to discrimination which indicates one’s ability to choose and make distinctions with care. Refinement of this faculty will most certainly be connected to one’s ability to maintain and execute relationships in a healthy and functional manner.

Potential challenge areas emerge for individuals with Venus in Virgo when their analysis goes too far, in that they attempt to answer every question: past, present and future – in order to account for every possible scenario without taking the actual plunge with their feelings in relationships. In essence, an self-inflicted paralysis and a robbing oneself of the right to possibly experience the love and relationship that you deserve.

Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green elaborates on this:

“Venus in Virgo people are plagued by a deep sense of inner doubt which is caused not only by the desire to deflate their egos, but also by the excessive inner analysis that creates a diversity of competing thoughts and perspectives. In turn, this can lead to an inner paralysis of their ability to take action as necessary. When these individuals consider some new project, or some new direction, or some new strategy leading to self-improvement, they will make these new ways seem so big and complicated that it reinforces their sense of personal inadequacy. Thus, they can defeat themselves before they even start. The way out of this self-defeating dynamic is to realize that the path to perfection, self-improvement, or the actualization of their abilities occurs one step at a time”

An important lesson for you to learn is: as efficient as you may be, there are no guarantees. You must take the initial steps involved in risk taking, and when you find yourself in the midst of a relationship, you must wholeheartedly INVOLVE yourself as opposed to consciously distancing yourself and playing the role of “remote tinkering technician”.

Also, it’s essential to understand that the same time and care that one puts in dissecting the relationship must be invested in considering the feelings of one’s partner. People aren’t “projects” and using your aforementioned powers of discrimination, to make the fine distinction between the two will benefit you greatly in the long run.

Understand that the pursuit of the ideal in relationships is both a natural and honorable inclination for you. To relinquish the belief that these aspirations must be accompanied by the excessive criticism of yourself and others, or that to be content and satisfied with what you have is accepting mediocrity is to invest in the breaking your own psychological and emotional chains.

References: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman

“Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

Photo Credit : radiounison.ro

Venus in Capricorn: “Undefended Love”

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As we explore the structure that’s Venus in Capricorn, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Capricorn lens, will be emphasized.

For individuals with the natal placement of Venus in Capricorn, Love is solid; you can take it to the bank. Love is enduring . Love is order. Love is structure. There are “rules” to love. Love is responsibility. Love is commitment. Love is a test. Love is integrity. Love is discipline. Love is work. Love is maturity, and like fine wine, gets better with time.

Love is the neutralizing of one’s defense mechanisms in order to open up the heart space.  In the words of Edwin Louis Cole:

“Boundaries are meant to protect life, not to limit pleasures.”

Two essential developmental questions for those with Venus placed in Capricorn would be: (1) What are my ultimate responsibilities in regard to my intimate relationships and (2) How can I become a model of integrity in my relationships allowing thought, word and deed to masterfully align?

It’s clear that this is a serious situation when the fulfilling of Venus’ relating needs are sought by way of the Saturn-ruled Capricorn environment. However, in this case, serious merely means that it requires immediate and skillful attention.

Contained in this placement, is an overarching strength in understanding the importance of delayed gratification and the awareness that REAL and ORGANIC relationship processes take TIME and WORK. If there’s anyone capable of sustaining long-term relationships, it is you.

In order to successfully navigate this placement, one must be willing to exert the necessary effort towards fostering which will likely be fewer relationships (as compared to many) of quality, substance and depth.

The focus here is not light and unfettered social butterfly-ism (see the elaboration of Robert Greene’s rule 16 in his “48 Laws of Power, which states that “too much circulation makes the price go down.”), but rather the establishment of solid foundations with others that build bridges of trust, honesty and mutual respect.

To facilitate this process, it’s key to understand the all important part that the lowering of one’s defenses and self-revelation plays in its overall effectiveness. For Venus in Capricorn, the thawing of a natural reserve can be difficult for a few reasons.

Concerning the more maladaptive expressions of Venus in Capricorn, Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green introduces a possible theory which outlines delayed emotional development and an intense blockage, constriction and compression of one’s feelings, as a result of induced guilt from the parental relationship:

“The Venus in Capricorn person has typically been born into family structures in which the parental reality has been defined by the consensus of the society in which they live. Consequently, the parental reality has typically had a heavy undertone in which the child has been expected to conform to the parental value system. When the child deviated from these expectations to conform, he or she was made to feel guilty in covert or overt ways through the use of judgment. A related dynamic within the general pattern of expectation to conform to parental values is one wherein the parents have projected on the child a rigid code of conduct that the child is expected to adhere to even when the parents themselves do not. The cliché “Do as I say, not as I do applies here.”

What can be gathered from this is that the Venus in Capricorn individual may have witnessed, and or been a part of an environment where vulnerability, open affection and free relating were not top priorities, but rather ” conditional love from a distance” and an authoritarian stance reigned supreme.

When we consider how this may filter into ones intimate relationships at worst, we arrive at an unremarkable need to “manage” one’s image and relationships borne out of an excessive fear of rejection or feeling inadequately “prepared” to participate in relationships. The compensation for this is to view relationships as a “game” where strategic moves, or having a “one up” carry more value than a mutual sharing of intimate feelings and thoughts.

Nevertheless, for those with Venus in Capricorn the universe’s call is for them to participate in the process of “undefended love”, a term coined by Marlena Lyons and Jett Psaris:

“Intimacy-direct, unmediated, heart-to-heart connection with ourselves and with others-can only occur when the heart is undefended. To cut through our personal differences, to reach the unveiled part of ourselves that is deep enough to express the most profound and untamed aspects of our being means learning how to love and be loved without defenses and without obstructions. It means cultivating the capacity to be emotionally present even when we feel exposed or vulnerable; learning to relinquish the many strategies we have employed to feel safe and in control; and finding the courage to love without guarantees or requirements.”

Like anything else, these things take time. So, it wouldn’t be fitting with the Saturn and Capricorn archetype, if one was expected to snap into this mode of being overnight. However, the greater lesson which can be learned through conscious and active participation with this placement is :

When you, the Venus in Capricorn individual, keep your heart open, you’re able to continue an unrestricted conversation with the source which moves you toward loving and constructive actions as well as healthy choices which will nourish you emotionally.

It’s important for you to keep your “feeling portals” open, as well as your mind, and to be consistently receptive to the myriad of life’s experiences.

Developing an inner dialogue with yourself allows you to stay in the “driver’s seat” and define your own experiences and attitudes when it comes to life, love, and relationships.

If you allow unpleasant experiences with one (or more) individual(s) to control the manner in which you live and love moving forward, you’ve essentially “given up the wheel” in favor of living in perpetual fear and doubt.

It’s vital that through your growth you increase your awareness.

And, it’s gravely important for you to avoid using temporarily unfavorable outcomes as a platform for beating up on yourself. A more constructive move would be to combine your newly discovered insights with your inner wisdom and allow the synthesis to reflect in your unique life perspectives moving forward.

Even through your pain and heartbreak you will discover a marvelous teacher. Pain shows us where our limits are, allowing us to say “ouch”.

If nothing led you to this point, how would you know what hurts? Better yet, how would you know when enough is enough?

As horrible as you may have felt (or may be feeling) during trying times, if you wish to fully participate in life and loving in the most authentic sense, sooner or later, you must risk the same painful emotions resurfacing in your life.

You could possibly spend the rest of your days attempting to employ more sophisticated tactics of pain avoidance, projection, self-protection, and the like. However, by all indicators, this is not what you truly desire to do.

With Venus in Capricorn, one of the best case scenarios is that you’ll arrive in a place which demonstrates that neither genuine honesty and vulnerability or healthy human boundaries restrict you from experiencing the love and relationships you crave and deserve.

It is through these boundaries that you maintain and preserve your self-love and respect while simultaneously allowing yourself to reach out and offer the key to your heart, as a sacred gift, to another.

References: “Undefended Love” by Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons. “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene. “Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

Image Credit : LoveThisPic

Astrology, Synastry and the “TIMER”

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I love films from most genres. So, it just so happened that about a year ago, I came across “TIMER”, a film that was an official selection at the Tribeca Film festival in 2009.

TIMER  was written and directed by Jac Schaeffer and some of the cast includes: Emma Caulfield, Michelle Borth and John Patrick Amedori. The film was released in the United States on May 14, 2010.

Without getting too elaborate, the film centers around a corporation known as TIMER, which specializes in making a timing device which is designed to allow a person to know the exact time when they’ll meet their soul mate.

When I got into this movie, I started to make some connections with what I’ve heard from various folks concerning Synastry (Relationship Astrology). I’ve noticed a trend of some people becoming so immersed in comparing their charts with others to discern “compatibility” that they will actually restrain themselves from participating in a relationship with another person, only possessing a minuscule bit of information and the other person’s birth data. Often, we can combine that with an incomplete knowledge or understanding of  Holistic Astrology and a dependence on the internet to provide interpretations for them.

Much like the following clip, as related to synastry, some folks have decided that they want a sure shot guarantee in their relationships:

In this way, the timer acts just like a birth chart. Whether it’s an individual one or a comparison with another person. The questions become : (1) When will I meet “the one”? or (2)Is she/he “the one” for me?

Instead of viewing our birth charts as a guide or possibilities, we’ve started to demand an ultra specific picture of WHOM this person actually going to be and when EXACTLY we’re going to meet them.

In most cases, I always advise people to get into your own chart to decipher what it is that you really need before worrying about comparing your chart with someone that you barely even know. The risk is that you form preconceived notions which are mainly derived from random interpretations in cyberspace. More often than not, we all would be much better served to deal with the challenges that we face as an individual as indicated by our own charts, so we can be better equipped to foster and nurture the types of relationships which we’re seeking out.

In a portion of the clip above, the man at the checkout counter remarks on the customer’s blank timer:  He says: “I see your timer’s blank. She responds “And?” He replies:  you’re sweating your future though, right? It’s a shame because you could have a much more exciting present if you really wanted it.”

I think that’s an important exchange, and it’s essential that we ask ourselves just what type of present experience we would like to have. There’s more to this film and I encourage you to see it, as it will most certainly provoke more thoughts on certain attitudes we share when it comes to love and compatibility.

The 1st/7th House Axis in Astrology, & Intimate Partnerships: Separately Together

In M. Scott Peck’s classic book “The Road Less Traveled”, the author emphasizes some very significant points regarding the definition of genuine love within the context of relationships. 

Peck states that a major characteristic in relationships that are truly loving and intimate, is the ability to make the distinction between yourself and the other person.

Although the act of coming together and being a part of each other’s spiritual reality is paramount, the individual identity of the two separate people must always be preserved if the partnership is going to be truly healthy.

Additionally, “the genuine lover always respects and even encourages this separateness and the unique individuality of the beloved. Failure to perceive and respect this separateness is extremely common however, and the cause of much mental illness and unnecessary suffering.”

Many intimate relationships begin with two people becoming mutually captivated with each other’s personalities. They’re both extremely attracted to  and excited about what each other represents.

However, the erroneous assumptions and miscalculations creep in when one, or both partners advocate for the union to dissolve or severely minimize their individual identities. 

It’s as if the parties involved are now asking the person they said they were madly and deeply attracted to, to relinquish their sense of self in favor of a composite identity represented by “we”.

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While it is certainly logical that a shift will naturally occur just because of the nuances of being partnered, the pressing question is if the destiny of the dynamic of couple hood has now exceeded that of individual purpose.

I quote again from Peck:

“In it’s most extreme form, the failure to perceive the separateness of the other is called narcissism. Frankly narcissistic individuals are actually unable to perceive their children, spouses or friends as being separate from themselves on an emotional level.”

Astrologically speaking, these challenges and dilemmas are “at home” in the 1st and 7th houses, which oppose, yet compliment one another.

Simply defined, the 1st house represents “us” and our identitieswhat we wish to project out into the world both physically and energetically.

The 7th house symbolizes “them” the “other” in our lives: spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, business partners and anyone whom we may deal with on a one to one basis. 

Along with other chart factors, these two houses, and the planets contained therein, contribute to the ongoing story of who we’re becoming, who we attract into our lives and the type of dynamics that need to exist in our partnerships.

We need not view the 1st/7th house axis as antagonistic, rather it would be in our best interest to ask more questions about what we see here.

What are my true relationship needs? What is my individual life purpose? How does my sense of self contribute to a collective destiny? Am I able to freely express and assert my identity within a relationship? In what ways is my partner different from me? Do I honor those differences? Does my partner respect my individuality?

The inability to come to terms with separateness in relationships can have a detrimental effect, as it can cause the once lively buoyant partnership to disintegrate into mundane numbness.  This phenomena is not only directed toward marriages and the like, but friendships, co-worker relationships and family as well. 

It’s vital that we examine OUR life purposes within a relationship as they pertain to US. That we avoid the age old mistake of placing the destinies and life tasks of others, no matter how close we may be to them, inside our own psychological framework.

Let’s remember that even though we may be “partnered” with another person, we both came to this earth with an individual mission to accomplish independent of the union.

Because two individuals unite, in no way does this mean that their personal work is done. It’s imperative that both people participate in experiences outside of the relationship realm in order to foster not only their sense of self, but also the growth of the entire partnership. 

Intimate relationships require time, energy and mutual sacrifice. However, let us consider a portion of the time invested as a solid foundation, or a directional queue toward our individual spiritual work on this earth, with this ultimate goal:

To honor our identities by fully participating in the experiences we need to fulfill our individual life purposes, while expending the effort and respecting the contributions needed to help an intimate partnership develop, thrive and ultimately flourish.
                                                                                                                                          
Reference : “The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth” by M. Scott Peck  

Photo Credit : huffingtonpost.com                               

Venus in Aquarius: “No Ordinary Love”

Recognize.
#LiveThatGardenLife

As we explore the territory that’s Venus in Aquarius, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Aquarius lens, will be emphasized.

For those people with Venus placed natally in Aquarius, Love is experimental. Love is custom-made. Love is unconventional. Love is rebellious. Love is humanitarian. Love is questioning societal definitions of love. Love is futuristic. Love is progressive.

Love is a lifetime course in liberation.

You’re being urged to seek and find you’re unique brand of “normal” on the spectrum of love.

On a deep level, your relationships are designed to function as an agent for the examination of your social programming and conditioning.

It’s not your business to subscribe to the typical norms concerning love and sexuality and the freedom to make choices based on your inner convictions is something that’s a prerequisite to opening the doors of your heart.

After all, your brand of love needs to be designed according to your own standards, and how can something that feels forced or coerced into qualify as genuine love?

For you, love can even be a form of healthy rebellion provided that you’re being unscrupulously honest with yourself about your intentions. You could say that it’s encoded in your DNA to question what most people allow to pass through their mental sphere without even so much as the slightest pause.

The developmental potential of Venus in Aquarius is rooted in knowing that you can, and most likely will shock and or offend those who may fancy themselves as being more “traditional” , and that’s okay. However, living this life doesn’t come without cost.

You must be prepared for the feeling of alienation, which can regularly be present as a result of your ideology. However, on the other hand, blind compliance to the “model citizen” myth will more than likely leave you mentally and emotionally incarcerated.

Perhaps a more compassionate and fair position towards yourself would be to always remember your reasons for choosing the specific relationships that you have chosen.

If you’re actively doing this work, then love becomes progress.

In order to pique your interest in relating to another, uniqueness and a pronounced investment humanitarian themes and causes must be central.

If one isn’t “different” in a clear way, interested in activating change in the world , and concerned with issues outside their front door, they don’t stand a chance with you.

As a matter of fact, as Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green points out,  for Venus in Aquarius individuals, people who represent a radical departure from what *they* are often stimulate their interest:

“Such a person is intimately attracted to those that are radically different. The sense or experience of passion is linked with intimacy being ignited because of the fact of being different, which ignites the curiosity of Venus in Aquarius. Because Aquarius as an Archetype desires to know how whole systems and structures are put together, the curiosity function thus creates a Venus desire to know how the individual system of someone whom they are intimately attracted to is put together in such a way as to make them different. Inwardly resonating together in their individual differences born of rebellion thus stimulates this type of Venus in Aquarius passion for individual intimate relationships.”

It’s important to mention that a typical dilemma that may face you in relationships is encountering someone who wishes to have you “all to themselves”.

What you require, is a partner that understands and supports the fact that whatever you are in the context of the relationship, you will continue to be for the ENTIRE world, and that the characteristics that you’re SO loved and appreciated for, that comprise the core of your very being, aren’t just limited to your interactions with the person that you’ve chosen to relate to on a longer term basis.

In order for your relational needs to be met, you must have the feeling that your influence is being spread on a wider scale than the circumference of your bedroom. Also, it would help if your partner is an ally with you in your pursuits, as this can serve as a point of intimate connection.

For anyone with this placement, it’s entirely possible that one of the worst moves that you can make is unceasingly surveying what everyone else is doing in their relationships as a measurement of how yours should be conducted.

Experimentation is in your DNA and it must be strongly considered that it’s far better to go that route than to wholly digest the mandate of a real or imagined “authority” figure that tells you: “this is THE way.”

When it comes to you in relation to the Venus in Aquarius placement, there’s no shame in being viewed as “out of the ordinary.”

However, you must guard in taking an aloof  and reactionary stance against others in the form of a superiority complex that reduces others to “sheep” and “followers”.

The same freedoms that you value so highly in regard to your relationships need to be honored and extended to others.

If you will choose  to utilize your capacity for openness, tolerance and your humanitarian bent, this is entirely possible.

Reference:  Pluto (Volume 2) The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships by Jeffrey Wolf Green

Image: Instagram : pangeasgarden

 

Developmental Lessons For Libra: “The Other Side of The Game”

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From the onset, it needs to be said that the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts, so when I write about sun signs, there are factors in the entire chart which are capable of heightening, suppressing or refining this energy.

As we proceed to look at the Libra archetype, the focus is now on the meaning of the scales’ function. After all, what exactly do scales do? They balance and they weigh.

Webster’s dictionary defines both a scale and a balance as:
“A beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends.”

Next, let’s examine the definition of weigh:
” To consider carefully, especially by balancing opposing factors or aspects in order to reach a choice or conclusion.”

This is the essence of the core life energy of Libra.

A large portion of Libra’s stimulus contains the balancing of their own ego recognition with the social acceptance of others. There is a continual weighing of what pleases others and the recognition of their own identity.

The process is lived out through the archetypal characters of the “nice” woman/man, the diplomat, the peacemaker, the smooth operator and the negotiator.

With this sign, the psychological need rests in being seen as attractive, fair, kind, and popular, and what better way to do that than to hold a continuous interest in what makes other people tick? To present yourself as charming and engaging, which in turn, puts others at ease and helps them feel important. An insightful quote from Alfred Adler, the Viennese psychologist, illustrates this point:

“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

Taking a look at all of the cardinal signs: Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn, I would cast them all as possessing their own unique type of intelligence quotient:

Aries energy is inclined toward kinesthetic and leadership intelligence, Cancer is solidly rooted in emotional IQ. While Capricorn’s practical and managerial IQ is stellar,

Libra excels in social intelligence.

Libra energy is neatly attuned to seeing the “other side of the game” and opposing viewpoints seem to take on a particular fascination as a means to see “how the other half lives.” Libran’s are even inclined, to an extent, to take on the observer’s role when viewing themselves.

Like anything else, when this orientation is taken to the extreme, it tends to over function, which then presents itself as a dysfunctional display of behavior.

Consequently, an individual’s healthy social awareness has now denigrated to a stifling straitjacket because he/she is afraid to make a move or decision out of fear that someone will disapprove. Or, the “other’s” point of view has been under consideration so long, that they’ve completely forgotten about their own wants, needs and identity.

This is the time where the words of Albert Camus call for heavy consideration:

“To give oneself has no meaning unless one possesses oneself. You can give only what you have.”

After all, Libra: for you to be FREELY supported in your CENTER, you must BALANCE the weight on both ends: yourself, and the other side.

Image : USA Today

Venus in Aries: “Shooting Your Shot”

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As we explore the territory that’s Venus in Aries, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Aries lens, will be emphasized.

For those with Venus placed in Aries in the birth chart, love can be a battlefield, where you want to be number one with no question. Love can be a feeling of having to “fight ” for the object of your affection. Love is passionate involvement. Love is fiery. Love is independence. Love is victory. Love is risk.

Love is “shooting your shot”.

You have the potential to be the the “Love Warrior”.

Ideally, you have little problem being the initiator in forming relationships because (1) you don’t believe in wasting time and (2) there’s a dynamic thrust of identity projection at work. For you, personal relationships are a source of constant renewal, and the litmus test of the ones that serve you is how much motivation you feel to maintain them.

Independence is another key theme for you. Learning the lesson that: working in your own self-interest and selfishness are two different things will be of immense value to you in your journey.

When Archetypal Aries energy is present in intimate relationships, there’s a tremendous focus on impact: On the effect they’ve had on the other person. The continuous question is :”what’s new?”

A static existence without mutual independence is as debilitating as it gets.

The gist of an Aries infused relationship is: “take your resources and explore the world, and I’ll do the same.” Then, we’ll come back and share insights in a manner that benefits us personally and collectively.

In general, what you can provide and also what you expect from another, is a straightforward and shame-free manner of relating. Emotional directness doesn’t have to be a problem.Typically, this is a person who’s more concerned with affirmation of their being than apologizing for it.

Because of the focus on identity development, what the Ram seeks in a partner is someone who has found a source of  passionate involvement and stimulation for *themselves*.

Venus in Aries understands that to be deeply focused on what you love is to feel connected to the collective life force.

On a healthy level, the Venus in Aries individual desires to “push” their partner to fulfill potential. Always looking for ways to encourage stretching out of their comfort zone.

Dysfunctionally, they become obsessed with competition, feeling as if they have to continuously be “one up” as a source of psychological satisfaction.

Another appropriate question for Venus in Aries is: “How do I keep the fires burning?”

Aries energy is undoubtedly challenged with maintaining enthusiasm in relationships. With the natural ebb and flow of life, the initial “heat” which is automatically present in the beginning stages of a union must subside or take on a different form.

So, what will it be?

Do you choose air to fan the flames of your passions? More fire to set the world ablaze? Water to create steam? Or, earth to bring structure to your aspirations?

Great astrology raises effective questions.

Ultimately, no matter what you choose, know that you can, and are supposed to have an impact on your partner.

You have the capability to become a master motivator and a source of “juice”. Not only by your powerful words, but your life lived as a personal demonstration of how an identity and belief in a cause unfolds over time.

Venus in Aries also suggests a person that’s not adverse to risk in relationships.

Now, we return to the theme of  fearlessly going after the type of relationships which authentically suit your way of being: a.k.a.”shooting your shot”

Many years ago, I had the pleasure of coming across the work of Richard Idemon, an Astrologer who passed away in 1987. I picked up a copy of his book “Through The Looking GlassA Search For The Self In The Mirror of Relationships.”

One of the first ideas which captured my attention was that of our most fundamental need in human relationships being the re-validation of our basic myths. 

We all have a “story”, or mythology of sorts that we carry around with us. This basic psychic ground is a significant contributor to our sense of self.  As a result, the patterns which we consciously or unconsciously create are those which are going to keep co-signing on our basic myth.

Those relationships which we may feel less comfortable, or even highly unsettled are those which challenge our basic ground.

However, if growth and evolution in relationships is what we truly seek, we must ultimately head in this direction.

There is an excellent example given in this book regarding the physical territory of animals, which can directly be applied to the psychic territory of human beings.

All animals have a basic physical territory that they will not deviate from. Even when chased by a larger, more fierce animal, which is sure to eat them alive, they will not leave this territory. In fact, the animal in question will run until he/she can’t run anymore and double back into the jaws of the pursuing animal rather than leave it’s comfort zone.

If we apply this same logic and scenario to our human relationships, we now see that most of us would rather be “eaten alive” psychically largely due to our need for safety. Pushing ourselves into the unknown constitutes a psychological death. So, in our discomfort, we resist change with all our might.

What we may have failed to realize is that we won’t be able to evolve into any relationship which does not support our existing myths.

If our mythology casts us as unlovable, undeserving, fearful human beings, our relationship patterns can’t reflect anything else. The only people that we’re able to accept into our worlds at this time are going to be continual confirmers of that reality.

Even if genuine love hit us head on like a Mack truck, we would not realize it, nor could we appreciate it because of our insistence to clinging to these outmoded patterns.

It’s only when we decide to renovate and expand our personal mythology that we’re able to open our universe to a broader array of possibilities.

There are two examples given of very different relationship models. The first model is the static model and the second is the erotic model.

With the static model, the basic intent is to stay safe. To avoid risk.  As long as there are no major shake- ups, everything will be all right. “Mrs./Mr. Jones and I have been together for 30 years and everything is in it’s place just the way I like it.” However, the question remains: have you and Mrs./Mr. Jones really been together 30 years, or just one year 30 times over?

 The erotic model is far more riskybut the potential rewards are much greater.
 Having Venus in Aries natally, the erotic model of relationships is much better suited to your inclinations.
The question is: are you up for the challenge?
The prime goals of the erotic relationship model are: intimacy and growth, variety, openness to change, open communications, trust, varied and shifting roles, independence, and adult-adult relating. The author goes on to suggest that there are probably ten percent of people who have a sufficient amount of the erotic in their relationship to keep them on their toes; to have them aiming towards deep bonding and personal transformation. As you peruse this food for thought, it may help to take inventory of your personal relationships and ask yourself where you fall in the spectrum.
What are the primary goals of your relationships? What do the relationship patterns that you’ve attracted into your life say about your personal mythology and your basic groundDo you wish to embark on the journey of changing your myth? If you’re not entirely happy in where you stand in this area, please understand that you can  begin anew with a legend for yourself which reflects the highest possibilities for creating the types of relationships which will enhance the quality of your life and ultimately contribute to your personal satisfaction.

 

The shot is yours to take.

*Reference: “Through The Looking Glass: A Search For The Self In The Mirror of Relationships.” by Richard Idemon

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