The 1st/7th House Axis in Astrology, & Intimate Partnerships: Separately Together

In M. Scott Peck’s classic book “The Road Less Traveled”, the author emphasizes some very significant points regarding the definition of genuine love within the context of relationships. 

Peck states that a major characteristic in relationships that are truly loving and intimate, is the ability to make the distinction between yourself and the other person.

Although the act of coming together and being a part of each other’s spiritual reality is paramount, the individual identity of the two separate people must always be preserved if the partnership is going to be truly healthy.

Additionally, “the genuine lover always respects and even encourages this separateness and the unique individuality of the beloved. Failure to perceive and respect this separateness is extremely common however, and the cause of much mental illness and unnecessary suffering.”

Many intimate relationships begin with two people becoming mutually captivated with each other’s personalities. They’re both extremely attracted to  and excited about what each other represents.

However, the erroneous assumptions and miscalculations creep in when one, or both partners advocate for the union to dissolve or severely minimize their individual identities. 

It’s as if the parties involved are now asking the person they said they were madly and deeply attracted to, to relinquish their sense of self in favor of a composite identity represented by “we”.

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While it is certainly logical that a shift will naturally occur just because of the nuances of being partnered, the pressing question is if the destiny of the dynamic of couple hood has now exceeded that of individual purpose.

I quote again from Peck:

“In it’s most extreme form, the failure to perceive the separateness of the other is called narcissism. Frankly narcissistic individuals are actually unable to perceive their children, spouses or friends as being separate from themselves on an emotional level.”

Astrologically speaking, these challenges and dilemmas are “at home” in the 1st and 7th houses, which oppose, yet compliment one another.

Simply defined, the 1st house represents “us” and our identitieswhat we wish to project out into the world both physically and energetically.

The 7th house symbolizes “them” the “other” in our lives: spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, business partners and anyone whom we may deal with on a one to one basis. 

Along with other chart factors, these two houses, and the planets contained therein, contribute to the ongoing story of who we’re becoming, who we attract into our lives and the type of dynamics that need to exist in our partnerships.

We need not view the 1st/7th house axis as antagonistic, rather it would be in our best interest to ask more questions about what we see here.

What are my true relationship needs? What is my individual life purpose? How does my sense of self contribute to a collective destiny? Am I able to freely express and assert my identity within a relationship? In what ways is my partner different from me? Do I honor those differences? Does my partner respect my individuality?

The inability to come to terms with separateness in relationships can have a detrimental effect, as it can cause the once lively buoyant partnership to disintegrate into mundane numbness.  This phenomena is not only directed toward marriages and the like, but friendships, co-worker relationships and family as well. 

It’s vital that we examine OUR life purposes within a relationship as they pertain to US. That we avoid the age old mistake of placing the destinies and life tasks of others, no matter how close we may be to them, inside our own psychological framework.

Let’s remember that even though we may be “partnered” with another person, we both came to this earth with an individual mission to accomplish independent of the union.

Because two individuals unite, in no way does this mean that their personal work is done. It’s imperative that both people participate in experiences outside of the relationship realm in order to foster not only their sense of self, but also the growth of the entire partnership. 

Intimate relationships require time, energy and mutual sacrifice. However, let us consider a portion of the time invested as a solid foundation, or a directional queue toward our individual spiritual work on this earth, with this ultimate goal:

To honor our identities by fully participating in the experiences we need to fulfill our individual life purposes, while expending the effort and respecting the contributions needed to help an intimate partnership develop, thrive and ultimately flourish.
Reference : “The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth” by M. Scott Peck  

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Venus in Gemini, Mars in Scorpio

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Although you’re the type to enjoy a lighthearted “good time” and may even express your deepest feelings in the form of anecdotes,  if someone were to delve into your interior just a little bit more, they would see that it’s not all adolescent giggles and midnight games of scrabble.

You value variety, but depth is pursued in a fervent, almost “do or die” fashion. Once you get your emotional energy swirling behind a cause (especially love or lust), all bets are off.

You have the potential to relate to others with a dexterity which disarms them, but you don’t stop there. In fact, this is only a means to explore the gloss of the surface before diving into deep waters. Once you’ve arrived you like to penetrate and be penetrated : spiritually, physically, psychologically and emotionally.

One may get the idea that you’re footloose and fancy free because you seem to navigate life with such aplomb, but what they may not see unless they get extremely close to you is your craving for intensity. What people fail to understand about you is that you view sex as just one of the many vehicles that can be used to explore and solidify a deeper connection with another human being. So, your true reasons for engaging in the throes of intimacy are often at variance with what others expect.

Your psychological makeup could be compared to a burner on a stove that doesn’t turn orange when it warms up, so people try to touch you and get scorched because they had NO IDEA you were so hot.

You need your privacy, but in order to remain true to yourself, it’s important that you cultivate the ability to make your deepest needs known to others. Learning the difference between strategic self-protection and deception is part of your life’s work.

Your sword can cut both ways through verbal confrontation and strategic precisely timed action.




Venus in Pisces, Mars in Aries

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You value what you can’t see with your eyes and you also sense subtle music which all of us can’t hear.

Like water, you’re adaptable and you can take on the shape of  whatever “container” you happen to be dealing with at the time, whether it’s a job, friendship or intimate relationship. Adaptability is one of your reigning strengths.

However, what you often experience is a conflict between empathy, i.e. walking in the shoes of others, and taking action which promotes your self-interest.

Your life questions center around whether you should be the “supportive one”, or passionately champion your own independence. You may find in time that your energy expenditure is most fruitful in developing your individuality, so you have more to give to another person. After all, you find your relational needs to be connected to merging and sharing mutual sensitivity.

A spiritual connection means a lot to you, but you’re also no stranger to the deep thrusts and eroticism, which you integrate into the whole. For you,  love should be gentle, but a little tinge of pain never hurt anyone, either.

So, in essence, your Mars/Venus blend is about the themes of not so much changing your shape to fit every container, but creating a container which is flexible and can accommodate your unfolding as a human being. You might even find that you need more than one container, or that there needs to be several. So what?

When it comes to flowing with the current of life, your potential is evident. Applying yourself toward pioneering courageous approaches to the expression of your “vibe” is also right up your alley.

You can relate with a subtlety which is adept, yet act swiftly. Both peace and passion are your birthright.



Venus in Gemini, Mars in Sagittarius

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With this Venus/Mars combination, freedom and variety is as essential to you as oxygen. The question you will have to ask yourself is freedom for what? There’s no doubt that relationships serve you as a  source of unlimited information and intellectual stimulation. You also seek to apply what you learn in a larger context; through some all-encompassing philosophical system which provides you with more clues about what life ultimately means.

When you came to this planet, a one-dimensional experience is certainly what you DIDN’T have in mind.

Whether you’re getting your passport stamped or heavily immersed in a great work of literature, traveling is essential for you. Both your relationships and sex life need to be immersed in this theme.

No adventure and diversity might as well be a “bored to death” sentence for you, as this blend suggests a need to explore duality and a quest for a lightness and buoyancy of being.

Yes… you may be floating along with youthful exuberance, but let’s not mistake that for naiveté, as you have the potential to assert the force of your being as connected to high-minded principles, especially honesty and ethical behavior as it applies to your intimate relationships.

Maybe the lesson which you have to learn with this blend is: there can be just as much variety in getting to know a few people deeply as flitting two and fro from one relatively superficial encounter to the next.

In your life and relationships you’ll find that the more you explore, the more questions arise, so be prepared to understand that just when you think you have the ultimate answer or truth, a few more of them reveal themselves and you have to re-work the puzzle we know as life.

If you’re able to use your flexibility to adapt to that type of “weather”, you will find that you’re able to make your home anywhere and enjoy the here and now of your relationships and maintain your sense of wonder which so rightly permeates your DNA.

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Venus in Pisces, Mars in Libra

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©2017 by Sagittarian Mind Consulting

Here, we have the valuing of all that’s ethereal blended with a passion for ideals. A portrait of an individual with Venus in Pisces and Mars in Libra would be painted with idealism of the highest order and an uncanny ability to see the best in other people and life in general.

A pronounced sense of universality permeates the psyche, where one would rather create bridges than borders. To some, it’s fascinating that the things which bring you the most joy are those which can’t be measured or have a boundless scope.

Your power of attraction lies in the unconditional acceptance of others and a passion for justice. Some of your wishes for humanity are: that they’re treated fairly, and that they receive copious amounts of peace and love in their lives.

Difficulty arises for you when your lenses become too rose colored for your own good. You suffer mainly because there’s an inclination to create the version of reality which produces the least amount of pain, and when you do that, there are no clear warning signals of the danger which has firmly copped a squat on your front porch.

There’s a tremendous amount of energy which is applied to maintaining your personal relationships, and rightfully so. In fact, you have a special talent for meeting your true desires through the actions of others.

People seem to naturally WANT to do things for you, and you have a way of appealing to the self-interest of others with charm and diplomacy. If there’s going to be any type of fight on your watch, it will be one against outward displays of coarseness and ugliness in personal behavior.

It needs to be noted, however that there are costs to pay for the “peace at any price” philosophy and those charges manifest for you largely on an internal level.

Although you feel that harmonizing may be your best option, you can easily create a bottleneck for your true feelings which feels like an emotional traffic jam. As a result, you develop animosity for whomever or whatever is in question, and that very peace that you were seeking to preserve morphs to a passive aggressive state, like the person at the office who sends the snide e-mails with smiley faces at the end.  In this state, your words are conveying one thing while your actions are speaking loudly and clearly in a contradictory fashion.

To truly reach your calling, both your Venus and Mars principles need to be honored. So, it’s important that you own your desires while also understanding the manner in which you need to apply your energies to obtain them.

In relationships, you have the potential to be a TRUE partner who offers emotional support and empathy. Even in times of conflict, a “fair fight” is important to you, and it’s wise to realize that conflict isn’t a dirty word and facing it squarely without avoidance can often bring you to a deeper place which is complete with a  greater degree of understanding  between your partner and yourself.

One of your challenges is addressing the theme of self-sacrifice in love. When it comes to healthy compromises that you make as a partner, this can breathe life-giving elixir into relationships. On the flip side it’s important to realize that there are no gold medals for martyrdom and no parades for the long-suffering.

Equating how much and how often you volunteered yourself for unequal treatment with loving another can be unhealthy and emotionally deceiving. Conversely, judging another person’s love for you by how much they’re willing to give up can be equally problematic.

At best, you beautify the world around you through your commitment to an all embracing love that few people, in comparison, ever get the opportunity to experience. You’re a unifier, clever strategist and true champion of justice. At worst, you become perpetually frustrated because you avoid the voice which prompts you to address challenges with other people directly, which dishonors your emotional needs and volunteers you for taking whatever another person thinks that you deserve.

Image: Central Washington University

Venus in Aquarius: “No Ordinary Love”


As we explore the territory that’s Venus in Aquarius, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Aquarius lens, will be emphasized.

For those people with Venus placed natally in Aquarius, Love is experimental. Love is custom-made. Love is unconventional. Love is rebellious. Love is humanitarian. Love is questioning societal definitions of love. Love is futuristic. Love is progressive.

Love is a lifetime course in liberation.

You’re being urged to seek and find you’re unique brand of “normal” on the spectrum of love.

On a deep level, your relationships are designed to function as an agent for the examination of your social programming and conditioning.

It’s not your business to subscribe to the typical norms concerning love and sexuality and the freedom to make choices based on your inner convictions is something that’s a prerequisite to opening the doors of your heart.

After all, your brand of love needs to be designed according to your own standards, and how can something that feels forced or coerced into qualify as genuine love?

For you, love can even be a form of healthy rebellion provided that you’re being unscrupulously honest with yourself about your intentions. You could say that it’s encoded in your DNA to question what most people allow to pass through their mental sphere without even so much as the slightest pause.

The developmental potential of Venus in Aquarius is rooted in knowing that you can, and most likely will shock and or offend those who may fancy themselves as being more “traditional” , and that’s okay. However, living this life doesn’t come without cost.

You must be prepared for the feeling of alienation, which can regularly be present as a result of your ideology. However, on the other hand, blind compliance to the “model citizen” myth will more than likely leave you mentally and emotionally incarcerated.

Perhaps a more compassionate and fair position towards yourself would be to always remember your reasons for choosing the specific relationships that you have chosen.

If you’re actively doing this work, then love becomes progress.

In order to pique your interest in relating to another, uniqueness and a pronounced investment humanitarian themes and causes must be central.

If one isn’t “different” in a clear way, interested in activating change in the world , and concerned with issues outside their front door, they don’t stand a chance with you.

As a matter of fact, as Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green points out,  for Venus in Aquarius individuals, people who represent a radical departure from what *they* are often stimulate their interest:

“Such a person is intimately attracted to those that are radically different. The sense or experience of passion is linked with intimacy being ignited because of the fact of being different, which ignites the curiosity of Venus in Aquarius. Because Aquarius as an Archetype desires to know how whole systems and structures are put together, the curiosity function thus creates a Venus desire to know how the individual system of someone whom they are intimately attracted to is put together in such a way as to make them different. Inwardly resonating together in their individual differences born of rebellion thus stimulates this type of Venus in Aquarius passion for individual intimate relationships.”

It’s important to mention that a typical dilemma that may face you in relationships is encountering someone who wishes to have you “all to themselves”.

What you require, is a partner that understands and supports the fact that whatever you are in the context of the relationship, you will continue to be for the ENTIRE world, and that the characteristics that you’re SO loved and appreciated for, that comprise the core of your very being, aren’t just limited to your interactions with the person that you’ve chosen to relate to on a longer term basis.

In order for your relational needs to be met, you must have the feeling that your influence is being spread on a wider scale than the circumference of your bedroom. Also, it would help if your partner is an ally with you in your pursuits, as this can serve as a point of intimate connection.

For anyone with this placement, it’s entirely possible that one of the worst moves that you can make is unceasingly surveying what everyone else is doing in their relationships as a measurement of how yours should be conducted.

Experimentation is in your DNA and it must be strongly considered that it’s far better to go that route than to wholly digest the mandate of a real or imagined “authority” figure that tells you: “this is THE way.”

When it comes to you in relation to the Venus in Aquarius placement, there’s no shame in being viewed as “out of the ordinary.”

However, you must guard in taking an aloof  and reactionary stance against others in the form of a superiority complex that reduces others to “sheep” and “followers”.

The same freedoms that you value so highly in regard to your relationships need to be honored and extended to others.

If you will choose  to utilize your capacity for openness, tolerance and your humanitarian bent, this is entirely possible.

Reference:  Pluto (Volume 2) The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships by Jeffrey Wolf Green

Image: Instagram : pangeasgarden


Venus in Aries: “Shooting Your Shot”

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As we explore the territory that’s Venus in Aries, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Aries lens, will be emphasized.

For those with Venus placed in Aries in the birth chart, love can be a battlefield, where you want to be number one with no question. Love can be a feeling of having to “fight ” for the object of your affection. Love is passionate involvement. Love is fiery. Love is independence. Love is victory. Love is risk.

Love is “shooting your shot”.

You have the potential to be the the “Love Warrior”.

Ideally, you have little problem being the initiator in forming relationships because (1) you don’t believe in wasting time and (2) there’s a dynamic thrust of identity projection at work. For you, personal relationships are a source of constant renewal, and the litmus test of the ones that serve you is how much motivation you feel to maintain them.

Independence is another key theme for you. Learning the lesson that: working in your own self-interest and selfishness are two different things will be of immense value to you in your journey.

When Archetypal Aries energy is present in intimate relationships, there’s a tremendous focus on impact: On the effect they’ve had on the other person. The continuous question is :”what’s new?”

A static existence without mutual independence is as debilitating as it gets.

The gist of an Aries infused relationship is: “take your resources and explore the world, and I’ll do the same.” Then, we’ll come back and share insights in a manner that benefits us personally and collectively.

In general, what you can provide and also what you expect from another, is a straightforward and shame-free manner of relating. Emotional directness doesn’t have to be a problem.Typically, this is a person who’s more concerned with affirmation of their being than apologizing for it.

Because of the focus on identity development, what the Ram seeks in a partner is someone who has found a source of  passionate involvement and stimulation for *themselves*.

Venus in Aries understands that to be deeply focused on what you love is to feel connected to the collective life force.

On a healthy level, the Venus in Aries individual desires to “push” their partner to fulfill potential. Always looking for ways to encourage stretching out of their comfort zone.

Dysfunctionally, they become obsessed with competition, feeling as if they have to continuously be “one up” as a source of psychological satisfaction.

Another appropriate question for Venus in Aries is: “How do I keep the fires burning?”

Aries energy is undoubtedly challenged with maintaining enthusiasm in relationships. With the natural ebb and flow of life, the initial “heat” which is automatically present in the beginning stages of a union must subside or take on a different form.

So, what will it be?

Do you choose air to fan the flames of your passions? More fire to set the world ablaze? Water to create steam? Or, earth to bring structure to your aspirations?

Great astrology raises effective questions.

Ultimately, no matter what you choose, know that you can, and are supposed to have an impact on your partner.

You have the capability to become a master motivator and a source of “juice”. Not only by your powerful words, but your life lived as a personal demonstration of how an identity and belief in a cause unfolds over time.

Venus in Aries also suggests a person that’s not adverse to risk in relationships.

Now, we return to the theme of  fearlessly going after the type of relationships which authentically suit your way of being: a.k.a.”shooting your shot”

Many years ago, I had the pleasure of coming across the work of Richard Idemon, an Astrologer who passed away in 1987. I picked up a copy of his book “Through The Looking GlassA Search For The Self In The Mirror of Relationships.”

One of the first ideas which captured my attention was that of our most fundamental need in human relationships being the re-validation of our basic myths. 

We all have a “story”, or mythology of sorts that we carry around with us. This basic psychic ground is a significant contributor to our sense of self.  As a result, the patterns which we consciously or unconsciously create are those which are going to keep co-signing on our basic myth.

Those relationships which we may feel less comfortable, or even highly unsettled are those which challenge our basic ground.

However, if growth and evolution in relationships is what we truly seek, we must ultimately head in this direction.

There is an excellent example given in this book regarding the physical territory of animals, which can directly be applied to the psychic territory of human beings.

All animals have a basic physical territory that they will not deviate from. Even when chased by a larger, more fierce animal, which is sure to eat them alive, they will not leave this territory. In fact, the animal in question will run until he/she can’t run anymore and double back into the jaws of the pursuing animal rather than leave it’s comfort zone.

If we apply this same logic and scenario to our human relationships, we now see that most of us would rather be “eaten alive” psychically largely due to our need for safety. Pushing ourselves into the unknown constitutes a psychological death. So, in our discomfort, we resist change with all our might.

What we may have failed to realize is that we won’t be able to evolve into any relationship which does not support our existing myths.

If our mythology casts us as unlovable, undeserving, fearful human beings, our relationship patterns can’t reflect anything else. The only people that we’re able to accept into our worlds at this time are going to be continual confirmers of that reality.

Even if genuine love hit us head on like a Mack truck, we would not realize it, nor could we appreciate it because of our insistence to clinging to these outmoded patterns.

It’s only when we decide to renovate and expand our personal mythology that we’re able to open our universe to a broader array of possibilities.

There are two examples given of very different relationship models. The first model is the static model and the second is the erotic model.

With the static model, the basic intent is to stay safe. To avoid risk.  As long as there are no major shake- ups, everything will be all right. “Mrs./Mr. Jones and I have been together for 30 years and everything is in it’s place just the way I like it.” However, the question remains: have you and Mrs./Mr. Jones really been together 30 years, or just one year 30 times over?

 The erotic model is far more riskybut the potential rewards are much greater.
 Having Venus in Aries natally, the erotic model of relationships is much better suited to your inclinations.
The question is: are you up for the challenge?
The prime goals of the erotic relationship model are: intimacy and growth, variety, openness to change, open communications, trust, varied and shifting roles, independence, and adult-adult relating. The author goes on to suggest that there are probably ten percent of people who have a sufficient amount of the erotic in their relationship to keep them on their toes; to have them aiming towards deep bonding and personal transformation. As you peruse this food for thought, it may help to take inventory of your personal relationships and ask yourself where you fall in the spectrum.
What are the primary goals of your relationships? What do the relationship patterns that you’ve attracted into your life say about your personal mythology and your basic groundDo you wish to embark on the journey of changing your myth? If you’re not entirely happy in where you stand in this area, please understand that you can  begin anew with a legend for yourself which reflects the highest possibilities for creating the types of relationships which will enhance the quality of your life and ultimately contribute to your personal satisfaction.


The shot is yours to take.

*Reference: “Through The Looking Glass: A Search For The Self In The Mirror of Relationships.” by Richard Idemon

Photo Credit : FAMU Athletics 


Venus in Gemini: “The Love of Variety”


As we explore the carousel that is Venus in Gemini, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Gemini lens, will be emphasized.

For Venus in Gemini, love is intellectual exchange. Love is Great conversation. Love is Mind stimulation. Love is flexibility and the ability to roll with duality. Love is witty and flirtatious. Love is youthful. Love is a trip to Barnes & Noble. Love is coffee shops and crossword puzzles. Love is watching “Jeopardy” in bed.

When interpreting and analyzing this planetary placement, it can’t be repeated enough times that planets or signs don’t “make” you act in any particular fashion. They don’t “do” anything to us, per se. What’s really going on here is that you’re being provided some food for thought concerning how to utilize your natal placement to develop into a more complete and fulfilled person.

For those with a Venus in Gemini placement, change is to be welcomed as a friend and not a threat. This placement suggests that the most auspicious avenues for the love principle to be expressed are through variety, curiosity, mental stimulation and adaptability.

There’s an enjoyment that comes with a fresh outlook and an attraction towards the new and a abhorrence toward stagnancy in personal relationships. If one isn’t constantly being exposed to newfangled insights, their interest soon begins wither and there becomes an immediate question as to whether such as association is necessary any longer.

With Gemini being a Mutable Air sign, a quicksilver swiftness is suggested. When combined with the Venusian principles, there’s a need for the individual to circulate. When one feels entrapped either physically or through stultifying ideas, staleness and psychological stench can set in.

It’s important for those with this planetary placement to consider the “elastic” nature that they require in a partner. Ideally, you want a best friend with whom you can indulge in conversations about a variety of topics and bounce ideas off of. This may come in the form of ONE person, or many.

However, the most important virtue for you to employ is complete honesty about what this package looks like for you coupled with the ability to communicate that to another person.

Venus’ placement in Gemini suggests that intellectual invigoration is a must and the “quiet and mysterious” may not be the move for you. Being truthful about how you’re wired can save you a lot of confusion. Consider that finding solace in the fact that “everything isn’t for everybody” is a long-term victory for you.

You need to be appreciated for your wit and multifaceted nature and this is actually the key toward your sexual arousal. For you, eroticism begins in the mind. You would much rather debate the current political climate of our country than be exposed to constant grand and romantic overtures (unless the totality of the birth chart indicates otherwise). In fact, your approach to sex may be a more cerebral one where discussion and research of sex may be just as, if not more exciting than the act itself. You may also have a mental “merry go round”  that will allow you the flexibility of entertaining certain sexual acts that you wouldn’t necessarily act out under other circumstances.

While the physical appearance of another isn’t to be discounted by any means, the qualities of verbal dexterity, sharp intellect and unceasing inquiry seem to weigh more heavily in your longer term attraction to another person.

As a Venus in Gemini person, one of your most pressing developmental challenges is to use your intelligence and penchant for questioning as a means to discovering the new when it comes to things and people that are “established”. so to speak.

To paraphrase Marcel Proust :

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”


Venus in Pisces : “Blurred Boundaries”

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As we explore the mystification that is Venus in Pisces, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Pisces lens, will be emphasized.

For Venus in Pisces: love is boundless. Love is romantic. Love is imagination. Love is fantasy. Love is returning to the spiritual source. Love is not easily or clearly defined. Love is universal. Love is unconditional. Love is suffering. Love is sacrifice. Love is transcendence. Love is nirvana. Love is a sea of oceanic tranquility.

If you have this placement in your birth chart, the ways in which your societal existence has shaped your definition of what it means to love and be loved bears serious consideration. The question becomes:

“Who told me how I was supposed to feel when I was “in love”?

Venus in Pisces at its best suggests that love can be extended in a uniquely intimate way whose ingredients are unconditional acceptance, empathetic connection and captivating union. 

At it’s worst, self-deception via creating one’s version of reality despite concrete information (evidence) to the contrary and deletion of important details from one’s experience to avoid pain or discomfort can reign front and center.

This placement suggests that one can be fixated on ideals, and this lens contains its admixture of beauty and challenges.  Where Venus in Pisces is concerned, the Victim/Savior game can firmly plant its flag for as long as the hypnotic state of “love over everything” remains etched in one’s psyche.

An inclination to respond to the suffering of others without discrimination can easily lead to one’s own demise as one can only see the potential in another, rather than the infectious energy that’s contained in their state of peril. So while one thinks they’re “saving” someone else, they become so enveloped by the situation that their heart, and sometimes pocketbook is in dire straits when the smoke clears.

There’s a need to merge with a partner to feel a sense of ever-growing closeness. However, differences between individuals don’t have to be viewed as potential threats which will erode the cohesiveness of a relationship.

One of the key facets of the developmental potential of Venus in Pisces is gaining the ability to see oneself and ones partners (intimate or business) clearly.  Issues surface when there’s an insistence on thinking that always seeing someone at their best is a higher form of love than acceptance of human frailty and imperfection.

In addition, One of the challenges of the Venus in Pisces individual can not only be to assuage the disappointment when a loved one reveals themselves as a mere mortal, but to also confront a lack of compassion toward oneself , because of the sheer intensity of  effort that one has displayed in trying to live up to an unrealistic ideal of being the perfect partner, or “on” under all circumstances.

We now return to the question: “Who told me how I was supposed to feel when I was “in love”?

With Venus in Pisces, one can be particularly sensitive and impressionable toward subliminal messages of what love is supposed to be about. Music, movies, advertisements and a host of other outlets can have significant influence.

In its constructive sense, this provides a host of imaginative and creative outlets to build upon an ever expanding mosaic of human feeling. In it’s maladaptive state, these messages are swallowed up with no filter whatsoever and the conclusion is reached that if you don’t have butterflies in your stomach, can’t eat and sleep without another person and aren’t thinking about them 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, it must not be love.

Concerning the concept and feeling of interconnectedness that’s suggested by Venus in  Pisces, there can be the misconception that everyone shares the same ideals where love and relationships are concerned.

One of the larger lessons here is: establishing reasonable limits and boundaries between partners in no way takes away from the “magic” of a relationship. When it comes to the significant dimensions of relationships, solid definitions  can actually ENHANCE the enchanting dynamic that you’re seeking to keep alive.

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Venus in Scorpio: “Removing the Mask”

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As we explore the labyrinth that is Venus in Scorpio, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Scorpio lens, will be emphasized.

For Venus in Scorpio, Love is depth. Love is emotional, psychic and physical nudity. Love is all of the cards on the table. Love is knowing each other as fully as possible. Love is secrets just between the two of you. Love is the exploration of taboos.

Love is about removing the mask.

For those who have Venus in Scorpio as a natal placement, you may feel misunderstood at large, because as a general population, we don’t value depth of interaction. Generally, we “eat up” most things sold to us without too much scrutiny.

Because the average individual isn’t into penetrating the veil of people and things (which is an attitude you despise), you tend to get an instant, and triggering label (which is trite to boot) slapped on you such as “crazy” or “psycho” without any investigation of  what your motivations or needs are in relationships.

For you, a large part of  interactions are centered around the wise and strategic expenditure of resources.  After all, your time and energy belong to you and aren’t to be played with or carelessly dispensed in several directions, thus weakening your passion and commitment. Your engagement with others is best expressed in FOCUS.

Often, a loathsome and unsettling feeling creeps in that keeps you on edge. It’s the one which says that there are very few people able to operate on the same level of intensity, and it could easily morph into self-induced damnation if one isn’t careful to check it at the door and find a suitable outlet for it to breathe.

There can be a reticence toward entering into serious partnership, not because one isn’t capable, but rather seeking surety that the other is absolutely committed to the raw intimacy that you crave.

For Venus in Scorpio folks, love is defined as the stripping down of defenses and pretenses. To accept what’s buried, no matter its condition, is something that you need in order to feel fulfilled. There needs to be the feeling that one is loving the REAL person, warts and all . Otherwise, it’s tepid and artificial.

The type of relationship dynamics which you seek are those which kill what’s detrimental to the flourishing of the union. This consists of the removal of all that isn’t infused with complete emotional honesty.

What needs to be remembered by Venus in Scorpio folks is: the type of bond that you seek isn’t a one way proposition. “All or nothing” doesn’t mean ALL from them and NOTHING from you. This isn’t a case where you ferret out your partner’s very thought and emotion like a detective, while simultaneously remaining a padlocked vault.

To use this placement effectively, you must summon the giving power of Venus, which means that you can choose to offer the vulnerability that you fiercely guard and protect as the ultimate gift to another human being. If it will help you, you can even make it a point to remind the other than most people don’t even get a look at that side of you.

For the fulfillment of your potential, this is a risk that must be taken at some juncture in your relationships. In accepting this instruction, please understand that it can’t and won’t be “nice and neat” like a 30 minute family sitcom where the loose ends are tied up before your dinner gets out of the oven. You may experience hurt feelings, betrayal, and emotions which surprise you and activate a heightened state of self-scrutiny.

However, if you’re willing to take such a leap, you give yourself the chance to offer and experience the transformative power of love. And, there’s nothing like betting on yourself.

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