Astrological Compatibility & The “3 Dynamics” : A Broader View

Related image

When traveling the road of Astrological compatibility, much of the writing I’ve read implies a point of view which excludes what I would call “holistic energies”, from the picture.

There seems to be more of an emphasis on whether “this sign works with that sign” rather than how intimate relationships can be part of a gateway which serves our total development.

So, the focus becomes whether Scorpio and Sagittarius “get along” versus what types of relationships are necessary to grow into the type of people we’re supposed to become.

One of the things I discuss frequently with clients are three dynamics, which are simultaneously individual, yet inseparable.

When considering what a truly “compatible” union actually means, all of these passages must have the potential to flourish:

(1) The dynamic of personal development– When we’re dealing with questions of compatibility. It’s essential that we ask about our own potential to develop within the framework of the relationship. Often, we find ourselves wildly attracted to the prospect of being involved with a partner only to discover later on that the coupling stifles, rather than nurtures the person we’re aspiring to be. In essence, we find ourselves trapped. While one part of the relationship may be “adequate”, we feel a certain discontent which could possibly morph into animosity, because we’re well aware that we want to maximize our gifts on a wider scale.

(2) The dynamic of the “other’s” development–  Much of what was just said now applies to the other person (or people) we may be relating to. The questions we must ask ourselves now center around if we’re providing adequate space and support for our partner(s) to grow. Due largely to our conditioning, we may feel that we should now receive exclusive “priority” in every possible situation because we’re in a relationship. However, the fact remains that our partner had goals and objectives which were completely outside of us before we met, and it’s most likely that they still do. We now have to question our capacity to develop strategies which make room for and encourage them in their pursuit of self-expression.

(3) The “shared” dynamic – This ebb and flow deals with synergy. Everything we are as a “couple”. Our collective philosophy and mission statement of the relationship. It’s what we wish to produce as a “team”, and the energy we enjoy when both people have been pursuing their self-actualization and bring it back into the fold as a tool for learning and instruction, as to strengthen and expand the union. Also, questions emerge as to what type of relationship we’re expressing to the community at large. We ask how us being together helps to affect the lives of others, and what our aims are, if any, for adding to the advancement of the collective.

Image result for african american couple

I’m putting forth the idea that compatibility be viewed in a much wider context than it has been, or else we’re most likely selling ourselves short from a holistic view.

When we ignore the totality of our being, we can easily create room for significant imbalances to creep into our relationships. We may love being with our partner, but suddenly realize we have “no life” outside of her/him.

Or, we may become so caught up in outside pursuits that we don’t effectively prioritize that special time needed for cultivation of our relationship.

In addition, we could become so engulfed in presenting a “front” to society as a “power couple”, managing our image to appear in a certain light, and forget all about the larger purpose of why we came together.

Truly effective astrology produces many more questions for further exploration than hardcore answers. I’m inviting all of you, who may be involved with a partner(s), or thinking about embarking on the journey of an intimate relationship, to carefully consider this food for thought and digest what you see fit and eliminate what doesn’t serve you at this time.

 

Advertisements

Moon-Venus Contacts in Synastry : “It’s a Love Thing”

moonvenus

As a counseling Astrologer, when writing about synastry, which surveys relationship potential and compatibility  between two people (as suggested by their birth charts), one of my main responsibilities is to be an “opener of doors” and an interpreter of potentials and possibilities. No narrative between two individuals is a static, fixed one.

Advancing the art of synastry requires creativity, and a  far-seeing telescopic lens devoid of the “by rote” recitation of familiar and stale scenarios which couldn’t revive themselves even using the most powerful set of defibrillators.

In addressing issues surrounded by compatibility, our birth charts serve as a basis, foundation or a tool.  Then, the people breathe life into it, catapulting themselves off the paper into real-time, as to honor and support the unfolding human being.

Let’s take a journey into the realm of the Moon and Venus. These two planetary archetypes are firmly rooted in Astrology’s “intimacy network.”  Let’s make no mistake: they can be great friends and cohabitants, symbolizing a cozy synthesis of both what we WANT and what we NEED.

When Moon-Venus contacts are experienced between two people, there’s a GRAND OPPORTUNITY to create a “safe space” or a “heavenly haven”, if you will.  A place where you both enjoy the company of one another and there’s potential for an airtight trust that’s built on a keen emotional understanding and the desire of both partners to be in tune with one another’s innermost needs. The relationship possesses a heart barometer that each person checks frequently out of immense concern for the other.

The home and hearth are something to be cherished here, and the meanings travel far beyond the mundane “brick and mortar” definition. When it comes to the nurturing of the union between partners, a spirit of mutual cooperation can be present in service of furthering a heartfelt and erotic bond. Whether you’re a Woman or a Man in the relationship, these contacts suggest a deep and genuine appreciation for feminine principles: receptive, yielding and containing energy which is open to intuitive insights, emotional memory and the welcoming of sensitivity with open arms.

In Robert Augustus Masters’ work entitled “Emotional Intimacy: A Comprehensive Guide For Connecting With The Power of Your Emotions“, he gives an outline of some factors in synergistic combination which constitute emotional intimacy. Here are five which illustrate Moon-Venus contacts working at an optimal level:

(1) Being sufficiently well acquainted with our emotions so that when one arises, we recognize it, can name it, and acknowledge what we’re doing with it.

(2) Relating TO our emotions rather than just FROM our emotions, so that we neither fuse with nor dissociate from them

(3) Listening to others deeply, both to what’s being said and what’s NOT being said.

(4) Remaining emotionally transparent and non-defensively expressive of whatever is arising in us, be it pleasant or unpleasant.

(5) Being FULLY vulnerable.

Ladies and gentlemen, of course there’s a flip side to these dynamics, which holds the possibility of operating in quite a dysfunctional manner.

An appropriate culinary comparison to the Moon and Venus would be comfort food and sweets. Both, when consumed and enjoyed in moderation, don’t necessarily have detrimental, long-term effects. However, overdoing it is a different story. One could easily conjure up a scenario where both partners are racking their brains to come up with the last time they actually participated in a meaningful activity as an independent entity. In fact, that whole phrase sounds foreign and perplexing.

Oddly enough, when suffering from he stupor  that sugar shock brings on, all the partners can locate is 15 to 20 extra pounds and remnants of an expired gym membership. What was once healthy interdependence has now morphed into insatiable attachment hunger. The fulfillment which results from adult sharing has now given way to the fussiness and temper tantrums reflecting infantile behavior.

Like any other contacts in synastry, much depends on the attitudes, maturity and focus of the people involved; with the emphasis being not so much on whether the aspects are cast as “harmonious” or “inharmonious”, but rather uncovering, through a wide open quest, the most constructive potentials for operation of the planets in question.

Take a listen to Pete Rock’s “It’s A Love Thing” featuring CL Smooth

Partnership Astrology : The Basics

Image

Ah…. relationships !!!  If we’re not involved in one, yet want to be,  we would like to know why, as the Pharycde asks:”she/he keeps on passin’ me by”. Or, at the very least we’re curious as to whom we may be compatible with. If we are among the fortunate and a participant in a strong, enduring union we still would like to know what we can do to ensure lasting bliss.Unfortunately, some of us may also find ourselves entangled in a mess of epic proportions. Feverishly searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Feeling like we’ve explored every nook and cranny and have nowhere to turn.

From time to time, I’m willing to bet that most of us have been in the grocery store checkout line and browsed through a copy of Cosmo’s “Bedside Astrologer”. Or, peeped a copy of Thelma Balfour’s “Black Sun Signs” in the Astrology section at Barnes & Noble.

We are naturally curious, and inquiring minds want to know!!  Astrologically speaking, what type of Man or Woman would I be best suited for? Better yet, is there really anything to this Astrology nonsense?  I’ll nip the latter question in the bud right now with a resounding *YES* just so we all understand where I’m coming from.

 

However, where we’re going is slightly more complicated. For the purposes of this article, I am writing describing intimate relationships. However, synastry – which is the art of comparing  two natal charts to estimate the degree of compatibility, as well as the adjustments that would need to take place by both parties to sustain a fulfilling relationship, can be equally applied to family, friends and colleagues.

More Than Sun Signs
Most of the mass-marketed books which discuss compatibility do so on a strictly sun sign basis. “I’m an Aries, he/she’s a Capricorn, why can’t we get along?” While Sun sign compatibility is a vital piece to the puzzle, there are other factors which are not discussed in these books that are just as important. One of the best bits of advice that I could give anyone who is thinking about visiting an Astrologer for a compatibility consultation is to have their own personal chart analyzed first. Find out what you’re bringing to the relationship as an individual. Your drives, strengths and challenges.

What you’re about to read will not provide you with all of the answers that you seek regarding astrological compatibility. However, it will briefly explain and outline some of the other important factors in determining chemistry between two individuals. This is definitely not an exhaustive list. Nevertheless, they are
important points to consider:

The Elements

Fire, Air, Earth and Water. Elements are the lifeblood of Astrology. They’re  our “juice”, and the “flavor” is different for each grouping of signs. Elements explain what world is the most “real” to us.

The Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius : Dynamic, expressive, inspirational. Fire signs want to “get up, get out and get something.” They are literally “fired up” because of the innate enthusiasm that permeates their being. To fire signs, the world of spirit is reality.

The Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius: “Great minds discuss ideas” would be the mantra of this group. Air signs thrive in the world of intellect. A day without cerebral stimulation could be akin to suffocation. Very social, versatile and well rounded- they love to circulate physically and mentally.

The Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn: For Earth signs, life must be lived sensually: seen, touched, heard, tasted and smelled. The physical and material dominates. Very practical, loyal and dependable people. This group says “don’t tell me, show me.” With earth signs, action speaks louder than words.

The Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces :  When this group asks “you feel me?” They really mean it. The realm of emotion, imagination, and non-verbal communication is as real as it gets for them. This group is very absorptive. Sensitive to the slightest environmental stimuli. Very compassionate, empathetic and on the whole- great listeners.

The Quadruplicities : Are the majority of your planets, or your partners incardinal, fixed or mutable signs?

The Cardinal Signs: Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn: These four signs are the starters. They initiate action.

The Fixed Signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius:  This group of signs serves as the builders and maintainers of what was initiated by the Cardinal signs.

The Mutable Signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces:  Here, you have the “go-betweens” or the intermediaries between the Cardinal and Fixed signs. Mutable signs are the adapters.

The Planets
Well……… you know I had to sneak some music in with the Astrology, right? I wasn’t going to leave y’all hangin’ !!  To explain the planets importance to relationship compatibility, I figured I would “break it down, so it will consistently and forever be broke” in musical language.

The Sun:

Song:”The Light” by Pharoahe Monch. 

Sun Signs are the facets of Astrological compatibility that we’re most familiar with. It’s where we “shine“. It’s the light that’s cast around us. Our personal power and life mission. Between two people, the questions the Sun asks are: “Are we on the same path“, “Are our journeys compatible?”  “Can we honor and encourage each other in pursuit of ourindividuality?”.

The Moon:

Song : “The Food” by Common featuring Kanye West. 

The Moon literally symbolizes what “feeds” us. Our emotional needs. What nurtures, sustains and provides nourishment for us in our feeling world. It’s our level of sensitivity, our urge to “nest”. Family anddomestic matters also fall under the Moon’s domain. Here, we’re asking: “Does this person understand my emotional makeup.” “Are they attuned to my inner needs?” “What would family life be like with this individual?”

Mercury

Song: “Come and Talk to Me” by Jodeci

Mercury represents the urge to communicate. It’s how we think and process information. What we talk about and what stimulates us intellectually. The objective mind, our reasoning ability and powers of analysis. So, we ask : “Do I have good intellectual rapport with this person?” “What do they think/talk about?” “Do we communicate well?” “What are our mutual areas of interest?”

LGBTpride

Venus

Songs: “The Sweetest Thing” by Lauryn Hill
“The Pleasure Principle” by Janet Jackson

If the Moon symbolizes all that nourishes us, Venus symbolizes the “sweets” of life. It is truly where and how we enjoy ourselves. Venus is beauty, charm, grace, pleasure and refinement. It’s relating in the broadest sense of the word. As a very general rule of thumb, the Venus sign in a Man’s chart is said to represent his ideal woman.Venus prompts us to ask “How do I relate to this person?” “Do I really enjoy being with them?” “Are they fun?” “Are we able to peacefully settle disagreements?”

Mars

Song : “Knockin Da Boots” by H-Town

Yes, ladies and gentlemen…. Mars is SEX. It’s symbolic of desire and is very instinctive. Passion, aggression and physical feats of prowess are all Mars ruled. Yes, Venus is nice and sweet and what we like, but Mars is what turns us ON!! As another general rule of thumb, look to Mars in a woman’s chart to see what type of man that she would be sexually attracted to. Mars prompts us to ask: “What turns me on?” “What arouses my passions?” “What makes me angry? What is my partner like when they get mad?”

Jupiter

Song: ” 4 Leaf Clover” by Erykah Badu

Jupiter brings opportunity for growth and improvement in the sphere of relationships. The planet is symbolic of an open mind, humor and optimism. Jupiter is inspiring and suggests that we ask: “Does this person make me laugh?” “Are they tolerant of the viewpoints of others?” “How receptive is my partner to the bounty of life experience?”

loving-couple

Saturn

Songs: “Make it Last Forever” by Keith Sweat, “I Ain’t No Joke” by Eric B & Rakim, “Discipline” by Gangstarr featuring Total, “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green

Saturn symbolizes maturity, stability and responsibility between two individuals. When we mention relationships and involve the ringed planet, we are in it for the long haul. Able to delay short term gratificationfor the greater rewards of endurance and commitment, Saturn’s compensation is directly equivalent to the amount of work and effort displayed. Between two people, Saturn cues us to ask questions such as: “Am I willing to be committed through thick and thin?” “Do I promise to be loyal and true?” “Do I have the level of maturity needed for a successful partnership?

The Outer Planets: Uranus, Neptune and Pluto:

Because the outer planets move relatively slowly, they will make natural aspects to each other in another person’s chart born in the same generation. From this perspective, their influence is minimal. However, when the outer planets of one individuals chart make contact with the other’s personal planets, the outer planet energy holds the influence.

Uranus liberates, awakens, changes, stimulates, unsettles, rebels.

Neptune refines, dissolves, distorts, spiritualizes, obscures, inspires, creates.

Pluto scrutinizes, eliminates, regenerates, heals, transformspurges, destroys.

Next time, we will discuss the houses and their significance in synastry. I hope  this piece gave everyone more food for thought about relationship astrology.