Let’s make no mistake about it: embarking on the quest of analyzing the many forms of human interaction can be a Herculean task.
With all of the rich variations of personality and shades of behavioral nuance to take into consideration, deriving “chemistry”, whether in friendships, work situations or partnerships is certainly nothing to sneeze at.
The focus of this article surrounds intimate relationships. In Astrological language, the appropriate term to describe the art of comparing individuals’ birth charts for the sake of compatibility is called synastry.
Often, when compatibility is discussed in popular magazines and similar publications, the focus
is strictly on Sun signs, a.k.a, the “sign” that we’re all familiar with. While this emphasis provides valuable information concerning our aspirations and what type of fuel we require to sustain our vitality, much more needs to be taken into consideration when deriving a complete picture of how two people mesh. Ideally, in a fully functioning relationship, we incorporate all of our planetary energies to some degree. For this piece, I would like to explore what I call “the relationship quartet” in partnership Astrology, better known as the Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars.
All of us have these planets placed in our birth charts in one of the 12 zodiac signs. The style in which that planetary energy would most likely manifest, or be distributed is suggested by the particular sign which finds its home there. When one person’s placements are compared with another, we start to derive a clearer picture of what the “energy exchange” may look like.
The Moon: “Love is a House”
“If you ever need warmth or comfort, darling I’ll be here to hold you near…. All I demand… is you be my security…. Love is a house, and you got the key.”
– “Love is a House” by The Force MD’s.
In partnership Astrology, the Moon symbolizes our deepest emotional needs. It’s one of the planets, along with Venus in the “intimacy network”. When considering lunar dynamics between people, questions arise such as: ‘Do I feel safe with you?” “Can I relax and be “at home” with you? Or even, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”
Our Moon signs say much about how we’re able to navigate the terrain of feelings and adjust ourselves to the instinctual fluctuations and reactions, to life’s ebbs and flows. Additionally, how
we nurture others, and the type of care that we require. Comparing Moon energies between two people raises questions surrounding sensitivity and responsiveness to the inner life of the participants, living arrangements and overall feelings of security and emotional compatibility.
Mercury: “Tell Me If You Want Me To”
“But to my great surprise, ever since I’ve looked in your eyes, I had one question for you…Tell me if you want me to, give you all my time….I want to make it good for you, ‘cause you blow my mind. I promise boy that I’ll be true, you’re the perfect find so tell me if you want me to…”
–“Tell me” by Groove Theory
When it comes to overall compatibility, Mercury is an extremely underrated planet. As much as said about “a meeting of the minds” and being “on the same page”, the winged messenger doesn’t get nearly enough of it’s just due. In plain language, Mercurial compatibility asks: “What’s the vibe when we talk?” “What’s the subject matter of our conversations?” “What’s the style of the mutual process of exchanging ideas and information?
Understanding how Mercury functions in your chart as well as your partners can give you much needed insight as to why one of you wants to discuss feminism and the other NASCAR, and why this is or isn’t problematic. Also, why one of you may be the best listener in the world and the other can’t get a word in edgewise.
Venus: “Come Share My Love”
“And I’ll give you all I have to give, all the love/all the joy/ my heart can give…hoping you will share the same with me.” -“Come Share My Love” by Miki Howard
Venus is the second planet in the intimacy network, and “sharing is caring” could definitely be the phrase that pays when describing the dynamic of its energy.
Venus is about relating to another person. Accommodating, inviting, charming and alluring. It’s related to what we find beautiful and pleasing and what we enjoy. When we start to examine Venusian energy between partners we ask:
“Do I like being around this person?” “Do we have fun together?” “Is this a fair and equal partnership? “Do I find you attractive?” “What are the shared values in this relationship? Or equally important: “How do my partner’s values differ from mine?”
How many of us know someone who said they weren’t a good match with someone because their tastes didn’t match? For this: check Venus out.
Mars: “Let’s Talk About Sex”
“Let’s talk about sex now/to the people at home or in the crowd/ it keeps coming up anyhow… Don’t be coy, avoid or make void the topic, ‘cause that ain’t gonna stop it.”
-“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N–Pepa
Passion. Heat. Raw, primal energy.
These are the themes which emerge when delving into the symbolism of the red planet.
Martian energy suggests the application of will, action and going after what we want. Mars’ sign provides clues on our different styles of doing this. The sexual energy level is also related to Mars, so if you want to explore if and how your partner’s libido cranks up, peep the planet.
Philosophically, we ask: “What’s the sex game like?” “How do we get angry and fight?” “What’s the m.o. for pursuing one’s desires?”
Along with Venus, Mars tops off the erotic potpourri, or as Astrologer Stephen Arroyo states:
“The harmony (or lack of it) between one’s own Venus and Mars energies and the Venus and Mars attunements of another person might be described as interpersonal emotional/erotic energy exchange.”
Yeah…. It might be a long night.
Along with the relationship quartet, we have other planets and factors which make a significant contribution to synastry through augmentation, intensification or amelioration in both charts. Astrology should be understood holistically, as the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts. This article is just a mere piece to the complex and ever unfolding puzzle called human chemistry.