Venus-Neptune Contacts in Relationships

Blue Gold Head Circle

Self-admittedly, when it comes to relationships, you could say that I lean towards idealism. 

However, I don’t consider myself to be the type of Astrologer who ignores the challenges, and sometimes harsh realities that come with the care and maintenance of interpersonal unions.

I am a firm advocate of healthydynamic, adultadult relationships and this piece will be written from the perspective that we can undoubtedly have the relationships that we want if we’re willing to put forth the effort to obtain them.

Intimate relationships require work, but they don’t have to be drudgery. We don’t have to be struggling all of the time in order to feel that our partnership is growing.There’s a tremendous amount of satisfaction to be derived from genuinely connecting with another human being on a deep level.

While I agree that the specific aspect between the two individual charts may highlight the relative ease or difficulty of  the interpersonal dynamics, I also say that the potential for the positive manifestation of Venus-Neptune contact is no less potent because the two may happen to be in a “hard” aspect, i.e. a conjunction, square or opposition.

In fact, because of the sheer effort which often times needs to be expended due to the tension of the more stressful aspects, the couple actually may be able to arrive at a much deeper, solidly intimate space as the union evolves.

So, what happens when the enchanting, inspirational Neptune of one partner makes contact with the relationship-ready, great attractor Venus?

This, ladies and gents…. is the stuff dreams are made of.


In synastry, Venus-Neptune contacts are a prime indicator of two individuals who consistently look for the best in each other and give the best of themselves.
A love which displays itself in a ethereal fashion, where harsh judgement and criticism are strangers who get left out in the cold without so much as a morsel of food.
The dream man or woman from another planet. The consistent: “Where did he/she come from?”

Inherently, idealism is not a negative component within a relationship. There’s minimal harm in wanting to view your partner in their best light. To feel like the love you share can transcend the mundane plane of petty human flaws and quirks.

The problem arises when, because of fear of conflict or confrontation, there’s no recognition by either party that these differences exist. By differences, I’m not talking about Sean’s tendency to leave the cap off the toothpaste, or Denise’s propensity to push the snooze button a couple times on the alarm clock. I speak of preferences which can have a major effect on the entire tone of the relationship.

Sometimes, it’s possible to become so caught up in the other-worldliness of our partner that we fail to realize that we can’t live in that “other” world on a consistent basis.

To err is to be human and it would help us immensely to remember this regarding our significant others, so we don’t feel as if the world is crumbling around us when we wake up in the morning to “hot breath syndrome”, or we have to wait “35-45” minutes to enter the bathroom after our partner’s lambasting of the porcelain due to some subpar Mexican food.

The key to working constructively with Venus-Neptune aspects is to strive toward being perfect for each other, thereby forming a realistic ideal within the context of the relationship. Exercising open-hearted compassion for each other’s faults and frailties.

Always remembering that one another’s vulnerability is a precious gift and handling it as such. For the abuse of such an offering only contains elements which can fully erode the substance of love and cheapen the bonds of intimacy which brought you together.

Those of you who share this aspect with a significant other: know that you’re in control of sculpting the dream you wish to see manifest. Although your ideal may evolve over time, it’s not so elusive that you cannot have it, with commitment, dedication and a firm grip on mutual realities.

However, If you plan to disregard your differences, or continue to hold on to the notion that your partner walks on water and his/her breath smells minty fresh 24-7, that dream could soon become a nightmare.

With both partners remaining “wide awake”, this aspect can suggest love without limits.


Partnership Astrology : The Basics


Ah…. relationships !!!  If we’re not involved in one, yet want to be,  we would like to know why, as the Pharycde asks:”she/he keeps on passin’ me by”. Or, at the very least we’re curious as to whom we may be compatible with. If we are among the fortunate and a participant in a strong, enduring union we still would like to know what we can do to ensure lasting bliss.Unfortunately, some of us may also find ourselves entangled in a mess of epic proportions. Feverishly searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Feeling like we’ve explored every nook and cranny and have nowhere to turn.

From time to time, I’m willing to bet that most of us have been in the grocery store checkout line and browsed through a copy of Cosmo’s “Bedside Astrologer”. Or, peeped a copy of Thelma Balfour’s “Black Sun Signs” in the Astrology section at Barnes & Noble.

We are naturally curious, and inquiring minds want to know!!  Astrologically speaking, what type of Man or Woman would I be best suited for? Better yet, is there really anything to this Astrology nonsense?  I’ll nip the latter question in the bud right now with a resounding *YES* just so we all understand where I’m coming from.


However, where we’re going is slightly more complicated. For the purposes of this article, I am writing describing intimate relationships. However, synastry – which is the art of comparing  two natal charts to estimate the degree of compatibility, as well as the adjustments that would need to take place by both parties to sustain a fulfilling relationship, can be equally applied to family, friends and colleagues.

More Than Sun Signs
Most of the mass-marketed books which discuss compatibility do so on a strictly sun sign basis. “I’m an Aries, he/she’s a Capricorn, why can’t we get along?” While Sun sign compatibility is a vital piece to the puzzle, there are other factors which are not discussed in these books that are just as important. One of the best bits of advice that I could give anyone who is thinking about visiting an Astrologer for a compatibility consultation is to have their own personal chart analyzed first. Find out what you’re bringing to the relationship as an individual. Your drives, strengths and challenges.

What you’re about to read will not provide you with all of the answers that you seek regarding astrological compatibility. However, it will briefly explain and outline some of the other important factors in determining chemistry between two individuals. This is definitely not an exhaustive list. Nevertheless, they are
important points to consider:

The Elements

Fire, Air, Earth and Water. Elements are the lifeblood of Astrology. They’re  our “juice”, and the “flavor” is different for each grouping of signs. Elements explain what world is the most “real” to us.

The Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius : Dynamic, expressive, inspirational. Fire signs want to “get up, get out and get something.” They are literally “fired up” because of the innate enthusiasm that permeates their being. To fire signs, the world of spirit is reality.

The Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius: “Great minds discuss ideas” would be the mantra of this group. Air signs thrive in the world of intellect. A day without cerebral stimulation could be akin to suffocation. Very social, versatile and well rounded- they love to circulate physically and mentally.

The Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn: For Earth signs, life must be lived sensually: seen, touched, heard, tasted and smelled. The physical and material dominates. Very practical, loyal and dependable people. This group says “don’t tell me, show me.” With earth signs, action speaks louder than words.

The Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces :  When this group asks “you feel me?” They really mean it. The realm of emotion, imagination, and non-verbal communication is as real as it gets for them. This group is very absorptive. Sensitive to the slightest environmental stimuli. Very compassionate, empathetic and on the whole- great listeners.

The Quadruplicities : Are the majority of your planets, or your partners incardinal, fixed or mutable signs?

The Cardinal Signs: Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn: These four signs are the starters. They initiate action.

The Fixed Signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius:  This group of signs serves as the builders and maintainers of what was initiated by the Cardinal signs.

The Mutable Signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces:  Here, you have the “go-betweens” or the intermediaries between the Cardinal and Fixed signs. Mutable signs are the adapters.

The Planets
Well……… you know I had to sneak some music in with the Astrology, right? I wasn’t going to leave y’all hangin’ !!  To explain the planets importance to relationship compatibility, I figured I would “break it down, so it will consistently and forever be broke” in musical language.

The Sun:

Song:”The Light” by Pharoahe Monch. 

Sun Signs are the facets of Astrological compatibility that we’re most familiar with. It’s where we “shine“. It’s the light that’s cast around us. Our personal power and life mission. Between two people, the questions the Sun asks are: “Are we on the same path“, “Are our journeys compatible?”  “Can we honor and encourage each other in pursuit of ourindividuality?”.

The Moon:

Song : “The Food” by Common featuring Kanye West. 

The Moon literally symbolizes what “feeds” us. Our emotional needs. What nurtures, sustains and provides nourishment for us in our feeling world. It’s our level of sensitivity, our urge to “nest”. Family anddomestic matters also fall under the Moon’s domain. Here, we’re asking: “Does this person understand my emotional makeup.” “Are they attuned to my inner needs?” “What would family life be like with this individual?”


Song: “Come and Talk to Me” by Jodeci

Mercury represents the urge to communicate. It’s how we think and process information. What we talk about and what stimulates us intellectually. The objective mind, our reasoning ability and powers of analysis. So, we ask : “Do I have good intellectual rapport with this person?” “What do they think/talk about?” “Do we communicate well?” “What are our mutual areas of interest?”



Songs: “The Sweetest Thing” by Lauryn Hill
“The Pleasure Principle” by Janet Jackson

If the Moon symbolizes all that nourishes us, Venus symbolizes the “sweets” of life. It is truly where and how we enjoy ourselves. Venus is beauty, charm, grace, pleasure and refinement. It’s relating in the broadest sense of the word. As a very general rule of thumb, the Venus sign in a Man’s chart is said to represent his ideal woman.Venus prompts us to ask “How do I relate to this person?” “Do I really enjoy being with them?” “Are they fun?” “Are we able to peacefully settle disagreements?”


Song : “Knockin Da Boots” by H-Town

Yes, ladies and gentlemen…. Mars is SEX. It’s symbolic of desire and is very instinctive. Passion, aggression and physical feats of prowess are all Mars ruled. Yes, Venus is nice and sweet and what we like, but Mars is what turns us ON!! As another general rule of thumb, look to Mars in a woman’s chart to see what type of man that she would be sexually attracted to. Mars prompts us to ask: “What turns me on?” “What arouses my passions?” “What makes me angry? What is my partner like when they get mad?”


Song: ” 4 Leaf Clover” by Erykah Badu

Jupiter brings opportunity for growth and improvement in the sphere of relationships. The planet is symbolic of an open mind, humor and optimism. Jupiter is inspiring and suggests that we ask: “Does this person make me laugh?” “Are they tolerant of the viewpoints of others?” “How receptive is my partner to the bounty of life experience?”



Songs: “Make it Last Forever” by Keith Sweat, “I Ain’t No Joke” by Eric B & Rakim, “Discipline” by Gangstarr featuring Total, “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green

Saturn symbolizes maturity, stability and responsibility between two individuals. When we mention relationships and involve the ringed planet, we are in it for the long haul. Able to delay short term gratificationfor the greater rewards of endurance and commitment, Saturn’s compensation is directly equivalent to the amount of work and effort displayed. Between two people, Saturn cues us to ask questions such as: “Am I willing to be committed through thick and thin?” “Do I promise to be loyal and true?” “Do I have the level of maturity needed for a successful partnership?

The Outer Planets: Uranus, Neptune and Pluto:

Because the outer planets move relatively slowly, they will make natural aspects to each other in another person’s chart born in the same generation. From this perspective, their influence is minimal. However, when the outer planets of one individuals chart make contact with the other’s personal planets, the outer planet energy holds the influence.

Uranus liberates, awakens, changes, stimulates, unsettles, rebels.

Neptune refines, dissolves, distorts, spiritualizes, obscures, inspires, creates.

Pluto scrutinizes, eliminates, regenerates, heals, transformspurges, destroys.

Next time, we will discuss the houses and their significance in synastry. I hope  this piece gave everyone more food for thought about relationship astrology.