Venus in Virgo : “Discriminating Love”

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“Everything keeps its best nature only by being put to its best use.” – Phillips Brooks

As we explore the method that’s Venus in Virgo, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Virgo lens, will be emphasized.

For those with Venus placed in Virgo in the natal chart, Love is utilitarian. Love is continuous improvement. Love is pragmatic.  Love is service. Love is efficiency. Love is careful and continuous analysis. Love is health. Love is selective and discriminating. Love is paying attention.

With this arrangement, love needs are sought to be fulfilled in an environment which calls for the use of one’s faculties of discernment. While Virgo’s complementary sign, Pisces, is geared toward merging and unification, the Virgin’s direction consists of recognition and understanding of the difference between on thing and another.

For Venus in Virgo individuals “relationship competence” is of utmost importance, as a healthy developmental direction to which to proceed in puts emphasis on doing whatever is required to make relationships the best that they can be and operate in a healthy manner. These actions include picking the relationship apart, examining each facet thoroughly and determining its overall usefulness. As time goes on, the conclusions that one draws about what’s helpful and necessary for their partnerships will most likely change as a matter of principle and as an indicator of striving toward excellence.

One’s growth is naturally enveloped in the process of employing sound judgment in partnerships, and using these same unions as a vehicle for one’s own refinement and the betterment of the partner. Ideally, one’s relationships should work efficiently, like a well-oiled machine.

When placed in action, Venus in Virgo correlates well with the love language that Gary Chapman refers to as “Acts of Service” in his bestselling book “The 5 Love Languages”.

“Acts of service” consists of doing things that you know that your partner would want you to do or appreciate; seeking to please her or him by serving them. One would naturally know what their partner wanted after careful listening, analysis and observation which are all mercurial functions that are “at home” with the sign Virgo.

Also, as Chapman emphasizes, these acts of service would require thought, planning, time, effort and energy and if they’re done with a positive spirit, they would be expressions of love.

In regard to this placement “discrimination” is a key phrase. And, depending on our life circumstances, we may have only been exposed to the negative connotations associated with this term, which deal with the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, gender or sexual orientation.

However, there’s another side to discrimination which indicates one’s ability to choose and make distinctions with care. Refinement of this faculty will most certainly be connected to one’s ability to maintain and execute relationships in a healthy and functional manner.

Potential challenge areas emerge for individuals with Venus in Virgo when their analysis goes too far, in that they attempt to answer every question: past, present and future – in order to account for every possible scenario without taking the actual plunge with their feelings in relationships. In essence, an self-inflicted paralysis and a robbing oneself of the right to possibly experience the love and relationship that you deserve.

Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green elaborates on this:

“Venus in Virgo people are plagued by a deep sense of inner doubt which is caused not only by the desire to deflate their egos, but also by the excessive inner analysis that creates a diversity of competing thoughts and perspectives. In turn, this can lead to an inner paralysis of their ability to take action as necessary. When these individuals consider some new project, or some new direction, or some new strategy leading to self-improvement, they will make these new ways seem so big and complicated that it reinforces their sense of personal inadequacy. Thus, they can defeat themselves before they even start. The way out of this self-defeating dynamic is to realize that the path to perfection, self-improvement, or the actualization of their abilities occurs one step at a time”

An important lesson for you to learn is: as efficient as you may be, there are no guarantees. You must take the initial steps involved in risk taking, and when you find yourself in the midst of a relationship, you must wholeheartedly INVOLVE yourself as opposed to consciously distancing yourself and playing the role of “remote tinkering technician”.

Also, it’s essential to understand that the same time and care that one puts in dissecting the relationship must be invested in considering the feelings of one’s partner. People aren’t “projects” and using your aforementioned powers of discrimination, to make the fine distinction between the two will benefit you greatly in the long run.

Understand that the pursuit of the ideal in relationships is both a natural and honorable inclination for you. To relinquish the belief that these aspirations must be accompanied by the excessive criticism of yourself and others, or that to be content and satisfied with what you have is accepting mediocrity is to invest in the breaking your own psychological and emotional chains.

References: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman

“Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

Photo by Eduardo Romero from Pexels

 

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Moon-Ascendant Contacts in Synastry: “Emotional Understanding”

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When it comes to intimate relationships, emotional understanding is undoubtedly one of the most vital pieces to the puzzle of success.

Between two individuals, when major contacts are present between the Moon and Ascendant, the potential for such a dynamic is just waiting to be realized. In my opinion, it matters less whose Moon or Ascendant is doing the contacting and more, that an open, heartfelt display of feelings be honored between the two parties.

The potential attraction exists because one feels secure in the presence of the other based on their overall identity projection. It’s like both people have sniffed out an invisible “shame-free” zone in which they can operate in. A haven where judgement is pushed to the side in favor of unconditional support.

Moon-Ascendant contacts suggest that the emotional states of both parties will be easily revealed to the other, so there’s really no use in trying to hide that bad day at the office because you didn’t receive the promotion. Yeah…. you’re gonna talk about it!!

This can be beautiful, or quite troubling at times because even though both partners are on the “same page”, one may be reading far ahead of the other.  Also, with so much free flowing emotion, it’s important to remember that advantages of gaining some distance so each person owns their “stuff” and resists projecting it on to the other.

Overall, the opportunities which exist within these contacts are a sense of safety; of never feeling “under siege”. This sets up the possibility of a fearless display of love. The type of relationship where anything can be shared with either party and the responsibility that comes with having the heart of the other in the palm of one’s hand is taken with the utmost seriousness and handled with absolute care.

Partnership Astrology : The Basics

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Ah…. relationships !!!  If we’re not involved in one, yet want to be,  we would like to know why, as the Pharycde asks:”she/he keeps on passin’ me by”. Or, at the very least we’re curious as to whom we may be compatible with. If we are among the fortunate and a participant in a strong, enduring union we still would like to know what we can do to ensure lasting bliss.Unfortunately, some of us may also find ourselves entangled in a mess of epic proportions. Feverishly searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Feeling like we’ve explored every nook and cranny and have nowhere to turn.

From time to time, I’m willing to bet that most of us have been in the grocery store checkout line and browsed through a copy of Cosmo’s “Bedside Astrologer”. Or, peeped a copy of Thelma Balfour’s “Black Sun Signs” in the Astrology section at Barnes & Noble.

We are naturally curious, and inquiring minds want to know!!  Astrologically speaking, what type of Man or Woman would I be best suited for? Better yet, is there really anything to this Astrology nonsense?  I’ll nip the latter question in the bud right now with a resounding *YES* just so we all understand where I’m coming from.

 

However, where we’re going is slightly more complicated. For the purposes of this article, I am writing describing intimate relationships. However, synastry – which is the art of comparing  two natal charts to estimate the degree of compatibility, as well as the adjustments that would need to take place by both parties to sustain a fulfilling relationship, can be equally applied to family, friends and colleagues.

More Than Sun Signs
Most of the mass-marketed books which discuss compatibility do so on a strictly sun sign basis. “I’m an Aries, he/she’s a Capricorn, why can’t we get along?” While Sun sign compatibility is a vital piece to the puzzle, there are other factors which are not discussed in these books that are just as important. One of the best bits of advice that I could give anyone who is thinking about visiting an Astrologer for a compatibility consultation is to have their own personal chart analyzed first. Find out what you’re bringing to the relationship as an individual. Your drives, strengths and challenges.

What you’re about to read will not provide you with all of the answers that you seek regarding astrological compatibility. However, it will briefly explain and outline some of the other important factors in determining chemistry between two individuals. This is definitely not an exhaustive list. Nevertheless, they are
important points to consider:

The Elements

Fire, Air, Earth and Water. Elements are the lifeblood of Astrology. They’re  our “juice”, and the “flavor” is different for each grouping of signs. Elements explain what world is the most “real” to us.

The Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius : Dynamic, expressive, inspirational. Fire signs want to “get up, get out and get something.” They are literally “fired up” because of the innate enthusiasm that permeates their being. To fire signs, the world of spirit is reality.

The Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius: “Great minds discuss ideas” would be the mantra of this group. Air signs thrive in the world of intellect. A day without cerebral stimulation could be akin to suffocation. Very social, versatile and well rounded- they love to circulate physically and mentally.

The Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn: For Earth signs, life must be lived sensually: seen, touched, heard, tasted and smelled. The physical and material dominates. Very practical, loyal and dependable people. This group says “don’t tell me, show me.” With earth signs, action speaks louder than words.

The Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces :  When this group asks “you feel me?” They really mean it. The realm of emotion, imagination, and non-verbal communication is as real as it gets for them. This group is very absorptive. Sensitive to the slightest environmental stimuli. Very compassionate, empathetic and on the whole- great listeners.

The Quadruplicities : Are the majority of your planets, or your partners incardinal, fixed or mutable signs?

The Cardinal Signs: Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn: These four signs are the starters. They initiate action.

The Fixed Signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius:  This group of signs serves as the builders and maintainers of what was initiated by the Cardinal signs.

The Mutable Signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces:  Here, you have the “go-betweens” or the intermediaries between the Cardinal and Fixed signs. Mutable signs are the adapters.

The Planets
Well……… you know I had to sneak some music in with the Astrology, right? I wasn’t going to leave y’all hangin’ !!  To explain the planets importance to relationship compatibility, I figured I would “break it down, so it will consistently and forever be broke” in musical language.

The Sun:

Song:”The Light” by Pharoahe Monch. 

Sun Signs are the facets of Astrological compatibility that we’re most familiar with. It’s where we “shine“. It’s the light that’s cast around us. Our personal power and life mission. Between two people, the questions the Sun asks are: “Are we on the same path“, “Are our journeys compatible?”  “Can we honor and encourage each other in pursuit of ourindividuality?”.

The Moon:

Song : “The Food” by Common featuring Kanye West. 

The Moon literally symbolizes what “feeds” us. Our emotional needs. What nurtures, sustains and provides nourishment for us in our feeling world. It’s our level of sensitivity, our urge to “nest”. Family anddomestic matters also fall under the Moon’s domain. Here, we’re asking: “Does this person understand my emotional makeup.” “Are they attuned to my inner needs?” “What would family life be like with this individual?”

Mercury

Song: “Come and Talk to Me” by Jodeci

Mercury represents the urge to communicate. It’s how we think and process information. What we talk about and what stimulates us intellectually. The objective mind, our reasoning ability and powers of analysis. So, we ask : “Do I have good intellectual rapport with this person?” “What do they think/talk about?” “Do we communicate well?” “What are our mutual areas of interest?”

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Venus

Songs: “The Sweetest Thing” by Lauryn Hill
“The Pleasure Principle” by Janet Jackson

If the Moon symbolizes all that nourishes us, Venus symbolizes the “sweets” of life. It is truly where and how we enjoy ourselves. Venus is beauty, charm, grace, pleasure and refinement. It’s relating in the broadest sense of the word. As a very general rule of thumb, the Venus sign in a Man’s chart is said to represent his ideal woman.Venus prompts us to ask “How do I relate to this person?” “Do I really enjoy being with them?” “Are they fun?” “Are we able to peacefully settle disagreements?”

Mars

Song : “Knockin Da Boots” by H-Town

Yes, ladies and gentlemen…. Mars is SEX. It’s symbolic of desire and is very instinctive. Passion, aggression and physical feats of prowess are all Mars ruled. Yes, Venus is nice and sweet and what we like, but Mars is what turns us ON!! As another general rule of thumb, look to Mars in a woman’s chart to see what type of man that she would be sexually attracted to. Mars prompts us to ask: “What turns me on?” “What arouses my passions?” “What makes me angry? What is my partner like when they get mad?”

Jupiter

Song: ” 4 Leaf Clover” by Erykah Badu

Jupiter brings opportunity for growth and improvement in the sphere of relationships. The planet is symbolic of an open mind, humor and optimism. Jupiter is inspiring and suggests that we ask: “Does this person make me laugh?” “Are they tolerant of the viewpoints of others?” “How receptive is my partner to the bounty of life experience?”

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Saturn

Songs: “Make it Last Forever” by Keith Sweat, “I Ain’t No Joke” by Eric B & Rakim, “Discipline” by Gangstarr featuring Total, “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green

Saturn symbolizes maturity, stability and responsibility between two individuals. When we mention relationships and involve the ringed planet, we are in it for the long haul. Able to delay short term gratificationfor the greater rewards of endurance and commitment, Saturn’s compensation is directly equivalent to the amount of work and effort displayed. Between two people, Saturn cues us to ask questions such as: “Am I willing to be committed through thick and thin?” “Do I promise to be loyal and true?” “Do I have the level of maturity needed for a successful partnership?

The Outer Planets: Uranus, Neptune and Pluto:

Because the outer planets move relatively slowly, they will make natural aspects to each other in another person’s chart born in the same generation. From this perspective, their influence is minimal. However, when the outer planets of one individuals chart make contact with the other’s personal planets, the outer planet energy holds the influence.

Uranus liberates, awakens, changes, stimulates, unsettles, rebels.

Neptune refines, dissolves, distorts, spiritualizes, obscures, inspires, creates.

Pluto scrutinizes, eliminates, regenerates, heals, transformspurges, destroys.

Next time, we will discuss the houses and their significance in synastry. I hope  this piece gave everyone more food for thought about relationship astrology.

Relationship Astrology Series

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Relationship astrology (a.k.a. synastry) is never as simple as just looking at a person’s sun sign.We’re multi-dimensional.

Ideally, we put our entire being into intimate relationships.

So, there are many different parts of the psyche that require consideration when comparing the charts of two individuals.

However, I’ve started writing a series of articles to open up the door for more expanded thought when dealing with the archetypal energies associated with each zodiac sign and how they may function within relationships as a means to fulfill core needs.

I look forward to having you on this journey with me.

Stay tuned.