The Cancer-Cancer Relationship

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©2017 by Sagittarian Mind Consulting

Features and Benefits: You both speak the same language when it comes to intimacy, and it doesn’t have to be conveyed in the form of a 200 page thesis- it just “IS”. Even if there’s a misunderstanding, it’s felt immediately and the giving nature of the union gives way to soothing the issue a.s.a.p., so the warmth, peace and security you both seek can be restored pronto.

Wow… that sounds great, but we all know it’s not the entire picture.

Where there are pools of emotion, sometimes things can tend to get a little clouded. So, we must remember that our personal reactions to things may give us INFORMATION, but not necessarily the whole story.

You both understand the language which I mentioned earlier due to your innate sensitivity to emotional undercurrents. Because you both aspire to creating safety, you may retreat to your private islands in your mind and heart until you feel like there’s no threat.

Your disagreements may indeed stem from what you both feel nurtures true security. Is it a promise or a vow? (till death do us part?) A ring? A family, or two people with steady incomes?

The “golden seal” in this union is a mutual agreement that it’s never in doubt, that issues can be worked on even if they’re tough. The minute that one person (or both) create doubts about being counted on…

Well… you know the rest of the story, folks.

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Moon-Uranus Contacts Between Partners:”Electric Relaxation”

kandtphoto:
“ Classic hip hop right here
”

Photo Credit: notonlyacolor

When thinking about this combination, one of the first thoughts that popped into my head was A Tribe Called Quest’s hip-hop classic: “Electric Relaxation.”

The archetype of Uranus shocks. It’s electric. Uranus symbolizes anything that’s progressive, unconventional, avant-garde, or just plain outside of the box.

The Moon is the most instinctive side of ourselves. It’s where we relax; where we feel ‘at home” in our most natural state. Also, the Moon symbolizes our deepest emotional needs.

When Moon-Uranus contacts exist between two individuals in the birth chart, there’s potential for a high voltage attraction.

Partners may feel comfortable and safe with the other because of their joint aims at individuation. This energy can be used to intensify a shared commitment toward each person pursuing their unique brand of genius. In this safe haven, “weird” is a compliment and “strange” is just a seven letter word.

Moon-Uranus potential, when developed constructively, can assist in the construction of a comfortable space for two people to honor and appreciate their quirks. The normality of personalities is not so much in question, but society’s model for normalcy is.

Central themes which will emerge at some time or another focus around a “custom made’ relationship. How THIS couple has chosen to live versus the mainstream’s promotion of “what’s good for everyone”. Maybe there’s no white picket fence, no two car garage or yearly ski trips to the same resort.

Maybe one person is from Nairobi and the other from Paducah, Kentucky, and they share a common interest in Astrology or Tarot Cards.Maybe the relationship defies the often tightly constructed boxes of race, culture, or gender. Whatever the case may be, this combination screams: “We want to break free from societal trappings, create our own relationship, and we can support each other in those efforts.”

On the flip side, Uranian energy is erratic and unpredictable. It’s rebellious. It can take freedom to a whole new level by streaking from end zone to end zone butt-naked during an NFL game.

It may very well be that the minute that things get “moony” and cozy, one person feels the need to suddenly break away. Therefore the on again, off again : ” I can’t quit you” set up is launched into high gear.

Eventually, it begins to eat away at the emotional health of both parties and they cease to be less than their best. The unhappy ending could be two people who are as scared of intimacy as they are of being ordinary. That’s a waste of this dynamic combination.

If you share these contacts with someone, you play a major part in the writing of the script.

What will your pen produce?

Moon-Venus Contacts in Synastry

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As a counseling Astrologer, when writing about synastry, which surveys relationship potential and compatibility  between two people (as suggested by their birth charts), one of my main responsibilities is to be an “opener of doors” and an interpreter of potentials and possibilities. No narrative between two individuals is a static, fixed one.

Advancing the art of synastry requires creativity, and a  far-seeing telescopic lens devoid of the “by rote” recitation of familiar and stale scenarios which couldn’t revive themselves even using the most powerful set of defibrillators.

In addressing issues surrounded by compatibility, our birth charts serve as a basis, foundation or a tool.  Then, the people breathe life into it, catapulting themselves off the paper into real-time, as to honor and support the unfolding human being.

Let’s take a journey into the realm of the Moon and Venus. These two planetary archetypes are firmly rooted in Astrology’s “intimacy network.”  Let’s make no mistake: they can be great friends and cohabitants, symbolizing a cozy synthesis of both what we WANT and what we NEED.

When Moon-Venus contacts are experienced between two people, there’s a GRAND OPPORTUNITY to create a “safe space” or a “heavenly haven”, if you will.  A place where you both enjoy the company of one another and there’s potential for an airtight trust that’s built on a keen emotional understanding and the desire of both partners to be in tune with one another’s innermost needs. The relationship possesses a heart barometer that each person checks frequently out of immense concern for the other.

The home and hearth are something to be cherished here, and the meanings travel far beyond the mundane “brick and mortar” definition. When it comes to the nurturing of the union between partners, a spirit of mutual cooperation can be present in service of furthering a heartfelt and erotic bond. Whether you’re a Woman or a Man in the relationship, these contacts suggest a deep and genuine appreciation for feminine principles: receptive, yielding and containing energy which is open to intuitive insights, emotional memory and the welcoming of sensitivity with open arms.

In Robert Augustus Masters’ work entitled “Emotional Intimacy: A Comprehensive Guide For Connecting With The Power of Your Emotions“, he gives an outline of some factors in synergistic combination which constitute emotional intimacy. Here are five which illustrate Moon-Venus contacts working at an optimal level:

(1) Being sufficiently well acquainted with our emotions so that when one arises, we recognize it, can name it, and acknowledge what we’re doing with it.

(2) Relating TO our emotions rather than just FROM our emotions, so that we neither fuse with nor dissociate from them

(3) Listening to others deeply, both to what’s being said and what’s NOT being said.

(4) Remaining emotionally transparent and non-defensively expressive of whatever is arising in us, be it pleasant or unpleasant.

(5) Being FULLY vulnerable.

Ladies and gentlemen, of course there’s a flip side to these dynamics, which holds the possibility of operating in quite a dysfunctional manner.

An appropriate culinary comparison to the Moon and Venus would be comfort food and sweets. Both, when consumed and enjoyed in moderation, don’t necessarily have detrimental, long-term effects. However, overdoing it is a different story. One could easily conjure up a scenario where both partners are racking their brains to come up with the last time they actually participated in a meaningful activity as an independent entity. In fact, that whole phrase sounds foreign and perplexing.

Oddly enough, when suffering from he stupor  that sugar shock brings on, all the partners can locate is 15 to 20 extra pounds and remnants of an expired gym membership. What was once healthy interdependence has now morphed into insatiable attachment hunger. The fulfillment which results from adult sharing has now given way to the fussiness and temper tantrums reflecting infantile behavior.

Like any other contacts in synastry, much depends on the attitudes, maturity and focus of the people involved; with the emphasis being not so much on whether the aspects are cast as “harmonious” or “inharmonious”, but rather uncovering, through a wide open quest, the most constructive potentials for operation of the planets in question.

Astrological Compatibility & The “3 Dynamics” : A Broader View

 

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(photo: youqueen.com)

When traveling the road of Astrological compatibility, much of the writing I’ve read implies a point of view which excludes what I would call “holistic energies”, from the picture.

There seems to be more of an emphasis on whether “this sign works with that sign” rather than how intimate relationships can be part of a gateway which serves our total development.

So, the focus becomes whether Scorpio and Sagittarius “get along” versus what types of relationships are necessary to grow into the type of people we’re supposed to become.

One of the things I discuss frequently with clients are three dynamics, which are simultaneously individual, yet inseparable.

When considering what a truly “compatible” union actually means, all of these passages must have the potential to flourish:

(1) The dynamic of personal development– When we’re dealing with questions of compatibility. It’s essential that we ask about our own potential to develop within the framework of the relationship. Often, we find ourselves wildly attracted to the prospect of being involved with a partner only to discover later on that the coupling stifles, rather than nurtures the person we’re aspiring to be. In essence, we find ourselves trapped. While one part of the relationship may be “adequate”, we feel a certain discontent which could possibly morph into animosity, because we’re well aware that we want to maximize our gifts on a wider scale.

(2) The dynamic of the “other’s” development–  Much of what was just said now applies to the other person (or people) we may be relating to. The questions we must ask ourselves now center around if we’re providing adequate space and support for our partner(s) to grow. Due largely to our conditioning, we may feel that we should now receive exclusive “priority” in every possible situation because we’re in a relationship. However, the fact remains that our partner had goals and objectives which were completely outside of us before we met, and it’s most likely that they still do. We now have to question our capacity to develop strategies which make room for and encourage them in their pursuit of self-expression.

(3) The “shared” dynamic – This ebb and flow deals with synergy. Everything we are as a “couple”. Our collective philosophy and mission statement of the relationship. It’s what we wish to produce as a “team”, and the energy we enjoy when both people have been pursuing their self-actualization and bring it back into the fold as a tool for learning and instruction, as to strengthen and expand the union. Also, questions emerge as to what type of relationship we’re expressing to the community at large. We ask how us being together helps to affect the lives of others, and what our aims are, if any, for adding to the advancement of the collective.

 

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(photo: e27.co)

I’m putting forth the idea that compatibility be viewed in a much wider context than it has been, or else we’re most likely selling ourselves short from a holistic view.

When we ignore the totality of our being, we can easily create room for significant imbalances to creep into our relationships. We may love being with our partner, but suddenly realize we have “no life” outside of her/him.

Or, we may become so caught up in outside pursuits that we don’t effectively prioritize that special time needed for cultivation of our relationship.

In addition, we could become so engulfed in presenting a “front” to society as a “power couple”, managing our image to appear in a certain light, and forget all about the larger purpose of why we came together.

Truly effective astrology produces many more questions for further exploration than hardcore answers. I’m inviting all of you, who may be involved with a partner(s), or thinking about embarking on the journey of an intimate relationship, to carefully consider this food for thought and digest what you see fit and eliminate what doesn’t serve you at this time.

The Courage To Explore: Intimate Relationships & What Lies Beneath

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It’s amazing how relationships can move so swiftly, from the point that says: ” I really want to get to know you better.” “I accept every part of you.” “For better of for worse.” Or, “what we have is SO real,” and then revert to a dismal: “Clearly, you weren’t who I thought you were.” “You fooled me.” Or, the best : “You fake ass mother f%$&*% !”

How do our relationships vacillate  to such extremes in a matter of months, weeks or even days?

My contention is that over idealism and intoxication, compliments of “fairy dust” can blind us to the possibilities that something more complex and sinister lurks beneath the surface. In many cases, we outright refuse to acknowledge the shadow which pervades intimate relationships.

Actually, the force is only “sinister” if we choose to ignore the dark, as if it doesn’t exist. Otherwise, these dynamics can assist us in arriving at a deeper place with our partners, if that’s what we truly want.

Additionally, it’s important to understand that we must deal with the shadow, not only in our relationships with others, but also in our MOST intimate relationship: with OURSELVES.

To plumb the depths of our psyches isn’t a journey for the faint of heart. There’s a considerable risk of discovering contents which we’re uncomfortable with.

You know: those which increase our heart beat, incite nausea and cause us to squirm. We feel this way because if ANYONE discovered that these thoughts were a part of our psychological framework, we feel as is we would be immediately be judged, ostracized and rejected.

However, what bears consideration is that these very same contents, while acknowledged and given a constructive outlet for expression can serve is as an agent in our development and ultimate transformation.

Much of the time, during the beginning stages of a relationship, a decision is made by one or both partners to engage in strategies which are designed to cover up the parts of ourselves which we deem as being “ugly”. We construct a veneer of bullshit  and call it ourselves, and no matter how sophisticated our tactics may be, every time we turn around, the bullshit is there, just hanging out.

As a result, between two people, intimacy is stifled and given a snowball’s chance in hell” of developing because it can’t surface in an environment so ripe with dishonesty.

Generally, we’ve bought the bill of goods society has sold us: telling to us that we can have a genuine relationship without being genuine. We’ve been told that the correct course of action is to hide our blemishes and make only the acceptable parts of ourselves visible.

The lingering hope is this: by the time the other person recognizes all of our bullshit (there’s that word again), they’ll be so invested (a mortgage, 2 or 3 children deep, etc..) that they won’t have the strength, sanity or peace of mind to fight for their own well-being and “at least we’ll have somebody”.

We’ve somehow become convinced of the notion that navigating difficult territory is something to be avoided at all costs. We strive to avoid pain any way that we can, thereby creating more of it because of our refusal to deal with it when it was knocking at our front door, staring us in the face.

In virtually every area of life, we’ve  been told that we can get what we want through some type of shortcut. Get rich quick, lose weight fast, a holiday meal to go in a box, quick, earth shattering astrology readings, and the list goes on.

It’s more accurate to say that successful relationships don’t materialize via mystical and magical means. The willingness of both parties to share, seek mutual understanding, create space for the honoring and expression of feelings and emotions and confronting aspects of ourselves and the other that are difficult to deal with are all part of this process.

For explorations sake, let’s follow the theory that when we feel vulnerable in relationships, we associate that with weakness. So, we go searching for a “mask” to wear that’s going to help us not appear so weak. Automatically, this obscures what we know of and desire to express about our true self. The act naturally puts shackles on our ability to experience life more deeply with another person. Immediately, limits are strapped into place and there’s only so far that we can go.

We forget that we’re human beings and life contains many dimensions which aren’t filed under the category of niceties and bliss.

While this may be an unpopular view, it doesn’t detract from its validity. I would also encourage everyone to ask themselves the question whether one of their purposes for developing intimate relationships stems more from the desire to gain a certain amount or type of social acceptance, or to explore deeper aspects of themselves as a catalyst for personal and collective growth.

Douglas and Naomi Moseley write:

“Developing an attractive personality does not eliminate the parts of ourselves that are unacceptable, they just become more disguised and layered over.”

Furthermore:

“People who are only willing to look at or be aware of one portion of themselves are essentially living in a delusion, well intended though that delusion may be. Behind their masks, they don’t know who they are or what they feel. The control they exert to present an acceptable self-image to others (and themselves) is likely to leave them numb and without passion. Major dimensions within the self are lost or repressed. Living behind a mask takes energy. The process of suppressing becomes so habitual that they forget how much energy is consumed by putting on a good, pleasant face and living up to an image.”

We stand on the rooftops and shout that we want someone to “love me for me” or “accept me as I am” and this raises two important questions: Are we willing to honestly reveal ourselves to the degree that genuine acceptance is possible and will we reciprocate?

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The universe is asking us to push ourselves to create strategies to relate as authentically as possible and discard that “shit eating grin” which we may have been carrying around with us for some time. The feedback from the cosmos is telling us that the jig is up and the masks no longer work. Can we face our own shadow? Can we vow to escape the morass of comfortable numbness and self-deceit?

If we can do this, we can jump-start true change in our lives. If not, we may find ourselves searching for discounts for costumes at Party City.

Notes: “Dancing In The Dark: The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships by Douglas & Naomi Moseley

 

Aries, Dating & Intimate Relationships

The Warrior.  The Initiator. Dynamic thrust of identity projection. Constant renewal. Motivation. Get up get out and Get something. Independence.

When Archetypal Aries energy is present in intimate relationships, there’s a tremendous focus on impact. On the effect they’ve had on the other person. The continuous question is :”what’s new?”

A static existence without mutual independence is as debilitating as it gets.

The gist of an Aries infused relationship is: “take your resources and explore the world, and I’ll do the same.” Then, we’ll come back and share insights in a manner that benefits us personally and collectively.

In general, what you can expect is a straightforward and shame-free manner of relating. Emotional directness is rarely a problem.Typically, this is a person who’s more concerned with affirmation of their being than apologizing for it.

Because of their focus on identity development, what the Ram seeks in a partner is someone who has found a source of  passionate involvement and stimulation for themselves. They understand that to be deeply focused on what you love is to feel connected to the collective life force.

On a healthy level, the Aries individual desires to “push” their partner to fulfill potential. Always looking for ways to encourage stretching out of their comfort zone.

Dysfunctionally, they become obsessed with competition, feeling as if they have to continuously be “one up” as a source of psychological satisfaction.

Another question for Aries is: “How do I keep the fires burning?”

Aries energy is undoubtedly challenged with maintaining enthusiasm in relationships. With the natural ebb and flow of life, the initial “heat” which is automatically present in the beginning stages of a union must subside or take on a different form.

So, what suits your fancy?

Do you choose air to fan the flames of your passions? More fire to set the world ablaze? Water to create steam? Or, earth to bring structure to your aspirations?

Great astrology raises effective questions.

No matter what you choose, know that you can, and are supposed to have an impact on your partner. You have the capability to become a master motivator and a source of “juice”. Not only by your powerful words, but your life lived as a personal demonstration of how an identity unfolds over time.

Astrology, Relationships & Self-Responsibility

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As an Astrologer, I place a significant amount of emphasis on my practicality and level of helpfulness. I put a great deal of effort in providing a realistic and well-balanced presentation of the science-art of Astrology. While the message that I bring can be uplifting, empowering and optimistic, it also encourages self-responsibility.

When used to measure potential chemistry between two individuals in the context of a relationship, Astrology can serve us as an extremely insightful tool. However, one of the realities we must face is that both parties have undergone their own unique set of experiences which they bring into the union.

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Environment, socialization and any number of factors play a part in how compatible we may or not be with another individual. In many cases, these variables take precedence over the astrological symbolism.

There’s absolutely no doubt that the comparison of two birth charts can provide valuable information and clues regarding relationship compatibility or possible behavioral manifestations, but we must always keep in mind that what is seen on that piece of paper is just POTENTIALOur birth charts are only given life through the actions which we put in motion through our decision making abilities.

The birth chart itself doesn’t reveal how far along the path we are of realizing and implementing our planetary potential.

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We may continue to surf the Internet and browse through various books and magazines which continue to tell us that Sagittarius and Virgo is a “bad combination” or Taurus and Capricorn is a “match made in heaven”.

However, this line of thinking is extremely narrow, short sighted and we’ll be doing ourselves a disservice by subscribing to an astoundingly incomplete version of Astrology.

If we stop and think for a moment about how many dimensions of ourselves which we incorporate in an intimate relationship with another human being, common sense alone will let us know that the complexity of our involvement can’t be narrowed down to a simple paragraph stating that we’re a wonderful or horrible match for someone else based on our sun sign.

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To add even more to the mix, let’s also consider that the person making such claims knows nothing about us, our personal lives, level of maturity, communication skills, motivation and drive or capacity for emotional depth and connectivity.

 

If you’re interested in Astrology and the layers of meaning which it may reveal in regard to your relationship, I suggest you consult a professional Astrologer who will engage in dialogue with you about your individual and relationship needs as well as your responsibility to be an active participant in the process of self-improvement.

Intimate Relationships & Our Psychic Territory: Through The Looking Glass

 

Many years ago, I had the pleasure of making the intellectual acquaintance of Richard Idemon, an Astrologer who passed away in 1987. I picked up a copy of his book “Through The Looking GlassA Search For The Self In The Mirror of Relationships.”  I will be expanding on some of his ideas in tonight’s blog post.

One of the first ideas which captured my attention was that of our most fundamental need in human relationships being the revalidation of our basic myths. 

We all have a “story”, or mythology of sorts that we carry around with us. This basic psychic ground is a significant contributor to our sense of self.  As a result, the patterns which we consciously or unconsciously create are those which are going to keep co-signing on our basic myth.

Those relationships which we may feel less comfortable, or even highly unsettled are those which challenge our basic ground. However, if growth and evolution in relationships is what we truly seek, we must ultimately head in this direction.

There is an excellent example given in this book regarding the physical territory of animals, which can directly be applied to the psychic territory of human beings.

All animals have a basic physical territory that they will not deviate from. Even when chased by a larger, more fierce animal, which is sure to eat them alive, they will not leave this territory. In fact, the animal in question will run until he/she can’t run anymore and double back into the jaws of the pursuing animal rather than leave it’s comfort zone.

 

(photo: bronzemagonline.com)

If we apply this same logic and scenario to our human relationships, we now see that most of us would rather be “eaten alive” psychically largely due to our need for safety. Pushing ourselves into the unknown constitutes a psychological death. So, in our discomfort, we resist change with all our might.

What we may have failed to realize is that we won’t be able to evolve into any relationship which does not support our existing myths.

If our mythology casts us as unlovable, undeserving, fearful human beings, our relationship patterns can’t reflect anything else. The only people that we’re able to accept into our worlds at this time are going to be continual confirmers of that reality.

Even if genuine love hit us head on like a mack truck, we would not realize it, nor could we appreciate it because of our insistence to clinging to these outmoded patterns.

It’s only when we decide to renovate and expand our personal mythology that we’re able to open our universe to a broader array of possibilities.

There are two examples given of very different relationship models. The first model is the static model and the second is the erotic model.

With the static model, the basic intent is to stay safe. To avoid risk.  As long as there are no major shake- ups, everything will be all right. “Mr. Jones and I have been together for 30 years and everything is in it’s place just the way I like it.” However, the question remains: have you and Mr. Jones really been together 30 years, or just one year 30 times over?

 The erotic model is far more riskybut the potential rewards are much greater.
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 The prime goals are intimacy and growth, variety, openness to change, open communications, trust, varied and shifting roles, independence, and adult-adult relating.The author goes on to suggest that there are probably ten percent of people who have a sufficient amount of the erotic in their relationship to keep them on their toes; to have them aiming towards deep bonding and personal transformation.As you peruse this food for thought, it may help to take inventory of your personal relationships and ask yourself where you fall in the spectrum.What are the primary goals of your relationships? What do the relationship patterns that you’ve attracted into your life say about your personal mythology and your basic ground?

Do you wish to embark on the journey of changing your myth?

Let us begin anew with a legend for ourselves which reflects the highest possibilities for creating the types of relationships which will enhance the quality of our lives and ultimately contribute to our personal satisfaction.

We are not static human beings. We’re always changing and evolving. Hopefully, into someone greater than we were the day before.

*Reference: “Through The Looking Glass: A Search For The Self In The Mirror of Relationships.” by Richard Idemon

Astrology, The 1st/7th House Axis and Intimate Partnerships: Separately Together

In M. Scott Peck’s classic book “The Road Less Traveled”, the author emphasizes some very significant points regarding the definition of genuine love within the context of relationships. 

Peck states that a major characteristic in relationships that are truly loving and intimate, is the ability to make the distinction between yourself and the other person.

Although the act of coming together and being a part of each other’s spiritual reality is paramount, the individual identity of the two separate people must always be preserved if the partnership is going to be truly healthy.

Additionally, “the genuine lover always respects and even encourages this separateness and the unique individuality of the beloved. Failure to perceive and respect this separateness is extremely common however, and the cause of much mental illness and unnecessary suffering.”

Many intimate relationships begin with two people becoming mutually captivated with each other’s personalities. They’re both extremely attracted to  and excited about what each other represents.

However, the erroneous assumptions and miscalculations creep in when one, or both partners advocate for the union to dissolve or severely minimize their individual identities. 

It’s as if the parties involved are now asking the person they said they were madly and deeply attracted to, to relinquish their sense of self in favor of a composite identity represented by “we”.

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While it is certainly logical that a shift will naturally occur just because of the nuances of being partnered, the pressing question is if the destiny of the dynamic of couple hood has now exceeded that of individual purpose.

I quote again from Peck:

“In it’s most extreme form, the failure to perceive the separateness of the other is called narcissism. Frankly narcissistic individuals are actually unable to perceive their children, spouses or friends as being separate from themselves on an emotional level.”

Astrologically speaking, these challenges and dilemmas are “at home” in the 1st and 7th houses, which oppose, yet compliment one another.

Simply defined, the 1st house represents “us” and our identitieswhat we wish to project out into the world both physically and energetically.

The 7th house symbolizes “them” the “other” in our lives: spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, business partners and anyone whom we may deal with on a one to one basis. 

Along with other chart factors, these two houses, and the planets contained therein, contribute to the ongoing story of who we’re becoming, who we attract into our lives and the type of dynamics that need to exist in our partnerships.

 

We need not view the 1st/7th house axis as antagonistic, rather it would be in our best interest to ask more questions about what we see here.

What are my true relationship needs? What is my individual life purpose? How does my sense of self contribute to a collective destiny? Am I able to freely express and assert my identity within a relationship? In what ways is my partner different from me? Do I honor those differences? Does my partner respect my individuality?

The inability to come to terms with separateness in relationships can have a detrimental effect, as it can cause the once lively buoyant partnership to disintegrate into mundane numbness.  This phenomena is not only directed toward marriages and the like, but friendships, co-worker relationships and family as well. 

It’s vital that we examine OUR life purposes within a relationship as they pertain to US. That we avoid the age old mistake of placing the destinies and life tasks of others, no matter how close we may be to them, inside our own psychological framework.

Let’s remember that even though we may be “partnered” with another person, we both came to this earth with an individual mission to accomplish independent of the union.

Because two individuals unite, in no way does this mean that their personal work is done. It’s imperative that both people participate in experiences outside of the relationship realm in order to foster not only their sense of self, but also the growth of the entire partnership. 

Intimate relationships require time, energy and mutual sacrifice. However, let us consider a portion of the time invested as a solid foundation, or a directional queue toward our individual spiritual work on this earth, with this ultimate goal:

To honor our identities by fully participating in the experiences we need to fulfill our individual life purposes, while expending the effort and respecting the contributions needed to help an intimate partnership develop, thrive and ultimately flourish.
                                                                                                                                          
Reference : “The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth” by M. Scott Peck  

Photo Credit : huffingtonpost.com                               

Developmental Lessons For Libra: “The Other Side of The Game”

 

From the onset, it needs to be said that the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts, so when I write about sun signs, there are factors in the entire chart which are capable of heightening, suppressing or refining this energy.

As we proceed to look at the Libra archetype, the focus is now on the meaning of the scales’ function. After all, what exactly do scales do? They balance and they weigh.

Webster’s dictionary defines both a scale and a balance as:
“A beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends.”

Next, let’s examine the definition of weigh:
” To consider carefully, especially by balancing opposing factors or aspects in order to reach a choice or conclusion.”

This is the essence of the core life energy of Libra.

A large portion of Libra’s stimulus contains the balancing of their own ego recognition with the social acceptance of others. There is a continual weighing of what pleases others and the recognition of their own identity.

The process is lived out through the archetypal characters of the “nice” woman/man, the diplomat, the peacemaker, the smooth operator and the negotiator.

With this sign, the psychological need rests in being seen as attractive, fair, kind, and popular, and what better way to do that than to hold a continuous interest in what makes other people tick? To present yourself as charming and engaging, which in turn, puts others at ease and helps them feel important. An insightful quote from Alfred Adler, the Viennese psychologist, illustrates this point:

“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

Taking a look at all of the cardinal signs: Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn, I would cast them all as possessing their own unique type of intelligence quotient:

Aries energy is inclined toward kinesthetic and leadership intelligence, Cancer is solidly rooted in emotional IQ. While Capricorn’s practical and managerial IQ is stellar,

Libra excels in social intelligence.

Libra energy is neatly attuned to seeing the “other side of the game” and opposing viewpoints seem to take on a particular fascination as a means to see “how the other half lives.” Libran’s are even inclined, to an extent, to take on the observer’s role when viewing themselves.

Like anything else, when this orientation is taken to the extreme, it tends to over function, which then presents itself as a dysfunctional display of behavior.

Consequently, an individual’s healthy social awareness has now denigrated to a stifling straitjacket because he/she is afraid to make a move or decision out of fear that someone will disapprove. Or, the “other’s” point of view has been under consideration so long, that they’ve completely forgotten about their own wants, needs and identity.

This is the time where the words of Albert Camus call for heavy consideration:

“To give oneself has no meaning unless one possesses oneself. You can give only what you have.”

After all, Libra: for you to be FREELY supported in your CENTER, you must BALANCE the weight on both ends: yourself, and the other side.