Venus-Saturn Aspects : “Bag Lady”

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(photo: glossyblonde.com)

There are several states of mind, when overtaxed, which can serve as grand inhibitors in our lives if we allow it.

If I were to start a list of such potential ways of thinking , those which contained a disproportionate amount of FEAR and DOUBT would most likely be right at the top.

Most likely, at some point in our lives,  we’ve “thrown the towel” in.

We’ve conceded, allowing the thoughts of what may happen, or what has already transpired in our lives to place us on physical, mental and emotional lockdown.

Or, while we may have professedly  “moved on” from certain people and situations, there’s still a slew of baggage that’s being unconsciously transferred no matter what “new” setting we find ourselves in. In many cases, those bags may have become so heavy, that it affects our ability to navigate other terrain.

 

Please lend me your eyes and ears as we discuss Venus, Saturn and intimate relationships.

One of the things that I love about Astrology is the astounding number of possibilities which are born when two planetary archetypes meet. The range of potentials is beyond our wildest imagination. In addition, every planet is a teacher and can offer tremendous assistance with its lessons.

Venus symbolizes our fundamental desire to relate and connect to another human being. It’s us “reaching out” and being reached out to in return. There’s a spirit of harmony and cooperation which permeates Venusian energy. The wish to co-exist peacefully, ‘work things out’ and smooth over differences while building bridges of the heart. In many ways, Venus is connected to what we find beautiful in this world and our capacity to embody that; to make our relationships ART.

Saturn’s energy is structural. It’s connected to forms. The ringed planet symbolizes concrete actualization of our goals through discipline, hard work and commitment. Saturn embodies the divine law of compensation in that we receive in the exact measure to which we give; the amount of effort which we put into something is precisely reflected into our returns.

Saturn’s lessons are related to the tests we need to meet in order to build greater stability in our lives. What’s essentially being asked of us is that we face our life challenges with an attitude of focus, responsibility and maturity.

When Venus and Saturn combine in an individual birth chart, there’s a potential to be severely tested within the realm of human relationships. The manner in which we negotiate this territory is of utmost importance.

If we look at what a test really consists of, we’re given one almost every day. When we’re reeling off of 3 hours of sleep, the alarm clock sounds and we know we have to get up for work. Or, when we actually get to our job and we’re “tested” by our employer to justify our position. Even if we work at home, we’re testing ourselves to see how much we can produce for that given day.

 

When we get to the crux of Venus-Saturn in relationships, the tests only scratch the surface. The deeper part is confronting and eliminating the potential fears that we have of not being able to pass them. Not being good enough, smart enough, thin enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, cool enough, etc…. 

On the dysfunctional side of Venus-Saturn, the picture looks like someone who is inhibited, or blocked in love because they feel like they don’t deserve it, or they don’t have the ability to  measure up to some artificial construct they’ve created. The idea of a relationship feels like a weight because the thought of getting close to someone would only exacerbate those fears.

The defense mechanism or “hiding place” is to rationalize that “no one wants me” anyway, or the devaluing of how much time and effort others put into maintaining their relationships:

“Whew….. I don’t know how two people spend SOOOO much time together… I couldn’t do it.”  “There’s no way i could talk to my partner on the phone EVERY DAY…”

This line of thinking says :

if I trick myself into believing all of this is “one big hassle”, it will alleviate my desire to enter into a relationship and EVER having to be tested.

However, what’s being missed here is that a great deal of effort is probably being expended to restrict or suppress these desires, when it could actually be re-directed in healthier ways to obtain what we actually want.

If we’re able to understand these fears for what they are and bring them to light, there’s a much lesser chance that they’ll show up as excess baggage in our relationships or pursuance thereof, and we’ll then be able to work with the constructive potentials of Venus-Saturn:

responsible partnership, operating with integrity in relationships, taking ownership in how we connect to other people, solidly defining our relationship needs, setting healthy boundaries between ourselves and others, putting conscious effort into working at relationships, valuing long term commitment over short term gratification, summoning the fortitude to endure difficult times, exhibiting discipline and self-control with our partners, and choosing adult relating.

When it comes to Venus-Saturn aspects in our birth charts, the willingness we exhibit towards confronting our fears about relationships can go a long way in making a difference in whether we become the committed partner or the “bag lady”.

 

Venus in Gemini, Mars in Scorpio

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Although you’re the type to enjoy a lighthearted “good time” and may even express your deepest feelings in the form of anecdotes,  if someone were to delve into your interior just a little bit more, they would see that it’s not all adolescent giggles and midnight games of scrabble.

You value variety, but depth is pursued in a fervent, almost “do or die” fashion. Once you get your emotional energy swirling behind a cause (especially love or lust), all bets are off.

You have the potential to relate to others with a dexterity which disarms them, but you don’t stop there. In fact, this is only a means to explore the gloss of the surface before diving into deep waters. Once you’ve arrived you like to penetrate and be penetrated : spiritually, physically, psychologically and emotionally.

One may get the idea that you’re footloose and fancy free because you seem to navigate life with such aplomb, but what they may not see unless they get extremely close to you is your craving for intensity. What people fail to understand about you is that you view sex as just one of the many vehicles that can be used to explore and solidify a deeper connection with another human being. So, your true reasons for engaging in the throes of intimacy are often at variance with what others expect.

Your psychological makeup could be compared to a burner on a stove that doesn’t turn orange when it warms up, so people try to touch you and get scorched because they had NO IDEA you were so hot.

You need your privacy, but in order to remain true to yourself, it’s important that you cultivate the ability to make your deepest needs known to others. Learning the difference between strategic self-protection and deception is part of your life’s work.

Your sword can cut both ways through verbal confrontation and strategic precisely timed action.

Photo by Bhavya Shah from Pexels

 

 

Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Libra

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As the CEO of this Venus/Mars blend in your birth chart, your relational needs center around personal potency and the allowance of raw emotional nakedness.

It’s difficult for you to accept anything less than feeling deeply connected to your significant other or whomever you choose to engage with.

Whether you realize it or not, there’s a dance happening inside you which requires the careful navigation of its rhythms. It consists of allowing yourself to see both your beauty as well as the ugly beast within.

If there’s anything you feel that should remain in the dark “from prying eyes”, for your benefit, you have to face it without running away. In fact, there will be no peace until you do so. You have immense potential to heal and be healed through your personal relationships, but you must come to terms with the cost of admission.

Your blend suggests the application of energy in service of harmony, and this is honorable. However, avoiding the rawness of touchy issues just for the sake of serenity won’t cut it in this lifetime. Your inner peace could be very well earned through trials of fire.

We all know that sex faces aren’t pretty, but you have to let the grimace be what it is, and let the moans out- chances are you’ll feel a liberation of emotional toxins and will be on the way to experiencing the equilibrium that you value so much. Anything which can help you to reveal yourself in a no holds barred capacity is your friend. In order to create a trusting environment, you TOO must lay some cards on the table. Maybe not *every* card just yet, but enough to let others know you mean serious business.

Will you share your depths? Or will you look out the peephole until you think everything is “nice and neat”?

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Venus in Pisces, Mars in Aries

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You value what you can’t see with your eyes and you also sense subtle music which all of us can’t hear.

Like water, you’re adaptable and you can take on the shape of  whatever “container” you happen to be dealing with at the time, whether it’s a job, friendship or intimate relationship. Adaptability is one of your reigning strengths.

However, what you often experience is a conflict between empathy, i.e. walking in the shoes of others, and taking action which promotes your self-interest.

Your life questions center around whether you should be the “supportive one”, or passionately champion your own independence. You may find in time that your energy expenditure is most fruitful in developing your individuality, so you have more to give to another person. After all, you find your relational needs to be connected to merging and sharing mutual sensitivity.

A spiritual connection means a lot to you, but you’re also no stranger to the deep thrusts and eroticism, which you integrate into the whole. For you,  love should be gentle, but a little tinge of pain never hurt anyone, either.

So, in essence, your Mars/Venus blend is about the themes of not so much changing your shape to fit every container, but creating a container which is flexible and can accommodate your unfolding as a human being. You might even find that you need more than one container, or that there needs to be several. So what?

When it comes to flowing with the current of life, your potential is evident. Applying yourself toward pioneering courageous approaches to the expression of your “vibe” is also right up your alley.

You can relate with a subtlety which is adept, yet act swiftly. Both peace and passion are your birthright.

 

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Venus-Uranus Aspects : “Nobody Like Me”

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“You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever met.”

In some cases, we could easily dismiss these words as trite and inconsequential “game” designed to cater to one’s ego. However, when operating in an obvious manner, Venus-Uranus aspects in one’s birth chart remind us that one could utter this statement, and it would be absolutely TRUE.

Chances are, if you’re working with this aspect, you really don’t care whether statements like that are meant to flatter you or question your “weirdness”. The fact is, you need to own it and live it.  In an individual birth chart, Venus in contact with Uranus suggests the valuing of that which is unconventional, offbeat and avant-garde. Your radar is honed toward customizing your life and relationships in a matter that screams authenticity.

However, the flip side of the coin is that you shock and ruffle the feathers of conventional society. The rebel inside of you is constantly seeking new ways to live YOUR life. Not a re-run of your parents’ life, your friends or anyone else. The cookie cutter lifestyle isn’t a part of your agenda and you make no bones about letting everyone know that.

Almost every day, inside your spirit, there’s a revolution going on. For you: revolution means evolution and the only constant that we can count on is change. You silently laugh at others opinions about your relationships and personal style and appearance, and you scoff at those who live in these spaces by rote and couldn’t conjure up an independent thought to save their lives.

If you’re exercising the potential of this planetary aspect, you’ve most certainly crafted your unique version when it comes to attraction and love. Somewhere along the line, you’ve had to come to grips with the fact that your friends and associates may not ever understand that you might not need the ring, gated community and the ski racks on your car. Hell, you may not even need the car! You can best believe that anyone you’re relating to as an intimate partner understands this, too. Or, your relationship will end just as quickly as it started.

Living freely and spontaneously and resisting labels and boxes is one of your fortes. You know the secret that us mere mortals are trying to grasp: from breath to breath and moment to moment, we’re different. From one blink of an eye to the next, we’re never the same anymore. So, what you uttered in fervent conviction two hours ago may be something which meets the fury of your disdain at this very moment.

What we can learn from you is to embrace the willingness to approach our lives from a fresh perspectives, always examining what we can possibly breathe new life into and reinvent. We can also learn about the ramifications that impulsive behavior and rebellion for sport has on personal productivity.

If you have a Venus-Uranus aspect in your birth chart.  Your theme song is “Nobody Like Me” by Little Brother featuring O-Dash. You can listen right here:

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Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Leo

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Your  Venus/Mars blend suggests an enjoyment of life that is nothing short of beaming.

Seeking to elevate your relationships, philosophical pondering with the one that you love is a requirement. This can take place thousands of miles away from home, or inside a studio apartment.

The freedom to learn and explore life in all of its facets connects to a healthy sense of self-esteem, along with a drive toward unique self-expression and creation through the force of your personality. There’s a genuine love for expansive ideas and lofty ideals, which when pursued, can help you gain attention from others.

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Venus in Gemini, Mars in Sagittarius

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With this Venus/Mars combination, freedom and variety is as essential to you as oxygen. The question you will have to ask yourself is: “freedom for what?”

There’s no doubt that relationships serve you as a  source of unlimited information and intellectual stimulation. You also seek to apply what you learn in a larger context; through some all-encompassing philosophical system which provides you with more clues about what life ultimately means.

When you came to this planet, a one-dimensional experience is certainly what you DIDN’T have in mind.

Whether you’re getting your passport stamped or heavily immersed in a great work of literature, traveling is essential for you. Both your relationships and sex life need to be consistently pursuant toward these ideals.

Relationships with no adventure and diversity might as well be a “bored to death” sentence for you, as this blend suggests a need to explore duality and a quest for a lightness and buoyancy of being.

Yes… you may be floating along with youthful exuberance, but let’s not mistake that for naivete, as you have the potential to assert the force of your being as connected to high-minded principles, especially honesty and ethical behavior as it applies to your intimate exchanges.

Maybe the lesson which you have to learn with this blend is: there can be just as much variety in getting to know a few people deeply as flitting two and fro from one relatively superficial encounter to the next.

In your life and relationships you’ll find that the more you explore, the more questions arise, so be prepared to understand that just when you think you have the ultimate answer or truth, a few more of them reveal themselves and you have to re-work the puzzle we know as life.

If you’re able to use your flexibility to adapt to that type of “weather”, you will find that you’re able to make your home anywhere and enjoy the here and now of your relationships and maintain your sense of wonder which so rightly permeates your DNA.

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Venus in Virgo : “Discriminating Love”

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“Everything keeps its best nature only by being put to its best use.” – Phillips Brooks

As we explore the method that’s Venus in Virgo, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Virgo lens, will be emphasized.

For those with Venus placed in Virgo in the natal chart, Love is utilitarian. Love is continuous improvement. Love is pragmatic.  Love is service. Love is efficiency. Love is careful and continuous analysis. Love is health. Love is selective and discriminating. Love is paying attention.

With this arrangement, love needs are sought to be fulfilled in an environment which calls for the use of one’s faculties of discernment. While Virgo’s complementary sign, Pisces, is geared toward merging and unification, the Virgin’s direction consists of recognition and understanding of the difference between on thing and another.

For Venus in Virgo individuals “relationship competence” is of utmost importance, as a healthy developmental direction to which to proceed in puts emphasis on doing whatever is required to make relationships the best that they can be and operate in a healthy manner. These actions include picking the relationship apart, examining each facet thoroughly and determining its overall usefulness. As time goes on, the conclusions that one draws about what’s helpful and necessary for their partnerships will most likely change as a matter of principle and as an indicator of striving toward excellence.

One’s growth is naturally enveloped in the process of employing sound judgment in partnerships, and using these same unions as a vehicle for one’s own refinement and the betterment of the partner. Ideally, one’s relationships should work efficiently, like a well-oiled machine.

When placed in action, Venus in Virgo correlates well with the love language that Gary Chapman refers to as “Acts of Service” in his bestselling book “The 5 Love Languages”.

“Acts of service” consists of doing things that you know that your partner would want you to do or appreciate; seeking to please her or him by serving them. One would naturally know what their partner wanted after careful listening, analysis and observation which are all mercurial functions that are “at home” with the sign Virgo.

Also, as Chapman emphasizes, these acts of service would require thought, planning, time, effort and energy and if they’re done with a positive spirit, they would be expressions of love.

In regard to this placement “discrimination” is a key phrase. And, depending on our life circumstances, we may have only been exposed to the negative connotations associated with this term, which deal with the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, gender or sexual orientation.

However, there’s another side to discrimination which indicates one’s ability to choose and make distinctions with care. Refinement of this faculty will most certainly be connected to one’s ability to maintain and execute relationships in a healthy and functional manner.

Potential challenge areas emerge for individuals with Venus in Virgo when their analysis goes too far, in that they attempt to answer every question: past, present and future – in order to account for every possible scenario without taking the actual plunge with their feelings in relationships. In essence, an self-inflicted paralysis and a robbing oneself of the right to possibly experience the love and relationship that you deserve.

Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green elaborates on this:

“Venus in Virgo people are plagued by a deep sense of inner doubt which is caused not only by the desire to deflate their egos, but also by the excessive inner analysis that creates a diversity of competing thoughts and perspectives. In turn, this can lead to an inner paralysis of their ability to take action as necessary. When these individuals consider some new project, or some new direction, or some new strategy leading to self-improvement, they will make these new ways seem so big and complicated that it reinforces their sense of personal inadequacy. Thus, they can defeat themselves before they even start. The way out of this self-defeating dynamic is to realize that the path to perfection, self-improvement, or the actualization of their abilities occurs one step at a time”

An important lesson for you to learn is: as efficient as you may be, there are no guarantees. You must take the initial steps involved in risk taking, and when you find yourself in the midst of a relationship, you must wholeheartedly INVOLVE yourself as opposed to consciously distancing yourself and playing the role of “remote tinkering technician”.

Also, it’s essential to understand that the same time and care that one puts in dissecting the relationship must be invested in considering the feelings of one’s partner. People aren’t “projects” and using your aforementioned powers of discrimination, to make the fine distinction between the two will benefit you greatly in the long run.

Understand that the pursuit of the ideal in relationships is both a natural and honorable inclination for you. To relinquish the belief that these aspirations must be accompanied by the excessive criticism of yourself and others, or that to be content and satisfied with what you have is accepting mediocrity is to invest in the breaking your own psychological and emotional chains.

References: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman

“Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

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Venus in Capricorn: “Undefended Love”

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As we explore the structure that’s Venus in Capricorn, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Capricorn lens, will be emphasized.

For individuals with the natal placement of Venus in Capricorn, Love is solid; you can take it to the bank. Love is enduring . Love is order. Love is structure. There are “rules” to love. Love is responsibility. Love is commitment. Love is a test. Love is integrity. Love is discipline. Love is work. Love is maturity, and like fine wine, gets better with time.

Love is the neutralizing of one’s defense mechanisms in order to open up the heart space.  In the words of Edwin Louis Cole:

“Boundaries are meant to protect life, not to limit pleasures.”

Two essential developmental questions for those with Venus placed in Capricorn would be: (1) What are my ultimate responsibilities in regard to my intimate relationships and (2) How can I become a model of integrity in my relationships allowing thought, word and deed to masterfully align?

It’s clear that this is a serious situation when the fulfilling of Venus’ relating needs are sought by way of the Saturn-ruled Capricorn environment. However, in this case, serious merely means that it requires immediate and skillful attention.

Contained in this placement, is an overarching strength in understanding the importance of delayed gratification and the awareness that REAL and ORGANIC relationship processes take TIME and WORK. If there’s anyone capable of sustaining long-term relationships, it is you.

In order to successfully navigate this placement, one must be willing to exert the necessary effort towards fostering which will likely be fewer relationships (as compared to many) of quality, substance and depth.

The focus here is not light and unfettered social butterfly-ism (see the elaboration of Robert Greene’s rule 16 in his “48 Laws of Power, which states that “too much circulation makes the price go down.”), but rather the establishment of solid foundations with others that build bridges of trust, honesty and mutual respect.

To facilitate this process, it’s key to understand the all important part that the lowering of one’s defenses and self-revelation plays in its overall effectiveness. For Venus in Capricorn, the thawing of a natural reserve can be difficult for a few reasons.

Concerning the more maladaptive expressions of Venus in Capricorn, Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green introduces a possible theory which outlines delayed emotional development and an intense blockage, constriction and compression of one’s feelings, as a result of induced guilt from the parental relationship:

“The Venus in Capricorn person has typically been born into family structures in which the parental reality has been defined by the consensus of the society in which they live. Consequently, the parental reality has typically had a heavy undertone in which the child has been expected to conform to the parental value system. When the child deviated from these expectations to conform, he or she was made to feel guilty in covert or overt ways through the use of judgment. A related dynamic within the general pattern of expectation to conform to parental values is one wherein the parents have projected on the child a rigid code of conduct that the child is expected to adhere to even when the parents themselves do not. The cliché “Do as I say, not as I do applies here.”

What can be gathered from this is that the Venus in Capricorn individual may have witnessed, and or been a part of an environment where vulnerability, open affection and free relating were not top priorities, but rather ” conditional love from a distance” and an authoritarian stance reigned supreme.

When we consider how this may filter into ones intimate relationships at worst, we arrive at an unremarkable need to “manage” one’s image and relationships borne out of an excessive fear of rejection or feeling inadequately “prepared” to participate in relationships. The compensation for this is to view relationships as a “game” where strategic moves, or having a “one up” carry more value than a mutual sharing of intimate feelings and thoughts.

Nevertheless, for those with Venus in Capricorn the universe’s call is for them to participate in the process of “undefended love”, a term coined by Marlena Lyons and Jett Psaris:

“Intimacy-direct, unmediated, heart-to-heart connection with ourselves and with others-can only occur when the heart is undefended. To cut through our personal differences, to reach the unveiled part of ourselves that is deep enough to express the most profound and untamed aspects of our being means learning how to love and be loved without defenses and without obstructions. It means cultivating the capacity to be emotionally present even when we feel exposed or vulnerable; learning to relinquish the many strategies we have employed to feel safe and in control; and finding the courage to love without guarantees or requirements.”

Like anything else, these things take time. So, it wouldn’t be fitting with the Saturn and Capricorn archetype, if one was expected to snap into this mode of being overnight. However, the greater lesson which can be learned through conscious and active participation with this placement is :

When you, the Venus in Capricorn individual, keep your heart open, you’re able to continue an unrestricted conversation with the source which moves you toward loving and constructive actions as well as healthy choices which will nourish you emotionally.

It’s important for you to keep your “feeling portals” open, as well as your mind, and to be consistently receptive to the myriad of life’s experiences.

Developing an inner dialogue with yourself allows you to stay in the “driver’s seat” and define your own experiences and attitudes when it comes to life, love, and relationships.

If you allow unpleasant experiences with one (or more) individual(s) to control the manner in which you live and love moving forward, you’ve essentially “given up the wheel” in favor of living in perpetual fear and doubt.

It’s vital that through your growth you increase your awareness.

And, it’s gravely important for you to avoid using temporarily unfavorable outcomes as a platform for beating up on yourself. A more constructive move would be to combine your newly discovered insights with your inner wisdom and allow the synthesis to reflect in your unique life perspectives moving forward.

Even through your pain and heartbreak you will discover a marvelous teacher. Pain shows us where our limits are, allowing us to say “ouch”.

If nothing led you to this point, how would you know what hurts? Better yet, how would you know when enough is enough?

As horrible as you may have felt (or may be feeling) during trying times, if you wish to fully participate in life and loving in the most authentic sense, sooner or later, you must risk the same painful emotions resurfacing in your life.

You could possibly spend the rest of your days attempting to employ more sophisticated tactics of pain avoidance, projection, self-protection, and the like. However, by all indicators, this is not what you truly desire to do.

With Venus in Capricorn, one of the best case scenarios is that you’ll arrive in a place which demonstrates that neither genuine honesty and vulnerability or healthy human boundaries restrict you from experiencing the love and relationships you crave and deserve.

It is through these boundaries that you maintain and preserve your self-love and respect while simultaneously allowing yourself to reach out and offer the key to your heart, as a sacred gift, to another.

If you have Venus in Capricorn in your birth Chart, your theme song is “Garden (Say it Like Dat)” by SZA. You can listen right here:

References: “Undefended Love” by Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons. “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene. “Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

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Aries Sun, Libra Moon

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The blending of the Sun in Aries and the Moon in Libra is fundamentally illustrative of the need to integrate the dynamics of the assertion of individuality and harmonious social relations. The natural opposition, or complimentary force between the signs calls for awareness of ourselves and the other.

With an Aries Sun, the person’s essential life energy and stimulus consists of thrusting the identity into the world with force and distinguishing the self as an individual, distinct from the herd,asserting and claiming themselves as number one in their chosen field of endeavor.

This solar placement suggests an initiating quality which can manifest behaviorally in the form of dynamic, courageous and empowering leadership when operating on a functional level. The Sun in Aries potential centers around the drive to leap forward into action and using their strength to defeat any impediments which may be present.

 

When operating dysfunctionally, the Aries Sun can manifest as someone who’s so vitally “alive” that they think they’re the ONLY one’s alive. The overfunctioning of the ego serves to alienate those who might otherwise be allies.

The Libra Moon uses the Sun’s light to reflect a personality whose nourishment depends on balancing self-approval with social appreciation. Where the Aries Sun is focused on self, the Libra Moon’s orientation is toward others, with a tendency to evaluate themselves from the observer’s point of view. Cooperation, social relatedness and the joining of forces toward a common goal are some of the emotional needs suggested by a Libra Moon.

 

When  the Moon’s placement in Libra is operating dysfunctionally, the individual OVER relates to others. He or she becomes confused about who they are outside of their relationships. There may be a ‘peace at all costs” philosophy at work where the person suppresses their identity in favor of amicable relations. However, this set up ultimately leaves the door open for animosity to creep in causing an eruption of epic proportions. The very dynamic which was trying to be avoided through accommodating behavior has now been created because the individual wanted to be seen as “fair” and “good”.

 Navigating the balance point between the assertion of self as a separate entity and the recognition of how that impacts our relations with other people is the key to constructively integrating this Sun-Moon blendTo have confidence that we can simultaneously claim our individual selfhood and relate as equals to our fellow human beings is essential.

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