Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Libra

 

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As the owner of this Venus/Mars blend in your birth chart, your relational needs center around intensity and emotional nakedness.

It’s difficult for you to accept anything less than feeling deeply connected to your significant other or whomever you choose to engage with.

Whether you realize it or not, there’s a dance happening inside you which requires the careful navigation of its rhythms. It consists of allowing yourself to see both your beauty as well as the ugly beast within.

If there’s anything you feel that should remain in the dark “from prying eyes”, for your benefit, you have to face it without running away. In fact, there will be no peace until you do so. You have immense potential to heal and be healed through your personal relationships, but you must come to terms with the cost of admission.

Your blend suggests the application of energy in service of harmony, and this is honorable. However, avoiding the rawness of touchy issues just for the sake of serenity won’t cut it in this lifetime. Your inner peace could be very well earned through trials of fire.

We all know that sex faces aren’t pretty, but you have to let the grimace be what it is, and let the moans out- chances are you’ll feel a liberation of emotional toxins and will be on the way to experiencing the equilibrium that you value so much. Anything which can help you to reveal yourself in a no holds barred capacity is your friend. In order to create a trusting environment, you TOO must lay some cards on the table. Maybe not *every* card just yet, but enough to let others know you mean serious business.

Will you share your depths? Or will you look out the peephole until you think everything is “nice and neat”?

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Relationship Astrology: Venus-Uranus Aspects in Synastry – “We Love In Unconventional Ways”

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Like a moth to a flame. Suddenly, shocking… out of nowhere. Lightning quick. Unexplained.

These are a few common ways in which Venus-Uranus contacts operate in synastry, better known as relationship Astrology. This aspect suggests a sudden. magnetic attraction with live electric currents. There is a heightened quality to the stimulation of this aspect which seems to transcend the boxes or categories we use to differentiate ourselves such as race, gender, sexual orientation, class or culture. Honestly, the beauty which you see in each other is so customized that you rarely give a damn.

Whatever enamors you about the other person may have done so to a degree that you’ll continue to pursue that attraction in the face of objection from family, friends and whomever else has the audacity to disagree with your choices. The questions which this aspect begs to answer is ” Am I “high” off rebellion? Or, is this the real thing?

What you need to know is that the potential exists for it to be REALLY REAL provided that there are structural supports in place for when the buzzing subsides, which will eventually happen. If this is NOT the case, you may find  yourself in a situation where you find yourselves in a conundrum, asking why there’s this on again/off again/on again dynamic.

One of the biggest lessons which can be taught and learned by this aspect is that there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to relationships.At the end of the day, your fulfillment matters more than any illusory model which society parades as the end all to be all of happiness. You value and cherish your right to map out your union as you see fit and could definitely encourage others to do the same.

It’s important to be aware of the tendency to take impulsive action when your partner’s human qualities surface as if that somehow bores you. Adopting an erroneous perspective in this area could create a chronic dissatisfaction as to keep you never satisfied, seeking the next best thing, while longer term intimacy evades you and you mistake a person’s imperfections for relationship stagnation.

Take a listen to the Jazzyfatnastees “Unconventional Ways”. This song captures the spirit of the Venus-Uranus aspect in synastry perfectly:

Venus in Gemini, Mars in Scorpio

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Although you’re the type to enjoy a lighthearted “good time” and may even express your deepest feelings in the form of anecdotes,  if someone were to delve into your interior just a little bit more, they would see that it’s not all adolescent giggles and midnight games of scrabble.

You value variety, but depth is pursued in a fervent, almost “do or die” fashion. Once you get your emotional energy swirling behind a cause (especially love or lust), all bets are off.

You have the potential to relate to others with a dexterity which disarms them, but you don’t stop there. In fact, this is only a means to explore the gloss of the surface before diving into deep waters. Once you’ve arrived you like to penetrate and be penetrated : spiritually, physically, psychologically and emotionally.

One may get the idea that you’re footloose and fancy free because you seem to navigate life with such aplomb, but what they may not see unless they get extremely close to you is your craving for intensity. What people fail to understand about you is that you view sex as just one of the many vehicles that can be used to explore and solidify a deeper connection with another human being. So, your true reasons for engaging in the throes of intimacy are often at variance with what others expect.

Your psychological makeup could be compared to a burner on a stove that doesn’t turn orange when it warms up, so people try to touch you and get scorched because they had NO IDEA you were so hot.

You need your privacy, but in order to remain true to yourself, it’s important that you cultivate the ability to make your deepest needs known to others. Learning the difference between strategic self-protection and deception is part of your life’s work.

Your sword can cut both ways through verbal confrontation and strategic precisely timed action.

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Aries Sun, Libra Moon

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The blending of the Sun in Aries and the Moon in Libra is fundamentally illustrative of the need to integrate the dynamics of the assertion of individuality and harmonious social relations. The natural opposition, or complimentary force between the signs calls for awareness of ourselves and the other.

With an Aries Sun, the person’s essential life energy and stimulus consists of thrusting the identity into the world with force and distinguishing the self as an individual, distinct from the herd,asserting and claiming themselves as number one in their chosen field of endeavor.

This solar placement suggests an initiating quality which can manifest behaviorally in the form of dynamic, courageous and empowering leadership when operating on a functional level. The Sun in Aries potential centers around the drive to leap forward into action and using their strength to defeat any impediments which may be present.

 

When operating dysfunctionally, the Aries Sun can manifest as someone who’s so vitally “alive” that they think they’re the ONLY one’s alive. The overfunctioning of the ego serves to alienate those who might otherwise be allies.

The Libra Moon uses the Sun’s light to reflect a personality whose nourishment depends on balancing self-approval with social appreciation. Where the Aries Sun is focused on self, the Libra Moon’s orientation is toward others, with a tendency to evaluate themselves from the observer’s point of view. Cooperation, social relatedness and the joining of forces toward a common goal are some of the emotional needs suggested by a Libra Moon.

 

When  the Moon’s placement in Libra is operating dysfunctionally, the individual OVER relates to others. He or she becomes confused about who they are outside of their relationships. There may be a ‘peace at all costs” philosophy at work where the person suppresses their identity in favor of amicable relations. However, this set up ultimately leaves the door open for animosity to creep in causing an eruption of epic proportions. The very dynamic which was trying to be avoided through accommodating behavior has now been created because the individual wanted to be seen as “fair” and “good”.

 Navigating the balance point between the assertion of self as a separate entity and the recognition of how that impacts our relations with other people is the key to constructively integrating this Sun-Moon blendTo have confidence that we can simultaneously claim our individual selfhood and relate as equals to our fellow human beings is essential.

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Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Scorpio

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With this Venus/Mars blend, intuitive and holistic approaches combine with depth exploration.

Potentially, you can be willing to “take it there” dropping bombs on the “taboos” of life while splitting them open for full view in the process.

If you choose to do so, you have the capacity to relate with radically naked honesty, based on high ideals and principles. In fact,  it’s something you value greatly.

Intense sexual exploration as a means to heal, and summon greater forces of fusion is the most fulfilling avenue when it comes to intimate connections with others. Breadth of scope and passionate focus are resources at your disposal.

Although a part of you can come off as lighthearted, there’s an appetite for something more substantial; a desire to know and be known at the most profound levels, and you’re someone who’s willing to accept the challenge and everything that comes with that..

Even when you have to dredge up the parts of yourself which are more difficult to examine, you find a large scope philosophical  context to bring meaning to the entire situation.

While  buoyant free spirits attract you, those who are willing to travel to the seedy underbellly of life turn you on and get your blood pumping. You find the deviation from doing “what you’re supposed to do” , and saying what you’re supposed to say highly erotic.

Open-mindedness and the willingness to accept yourself and others in their totality is part of your lifetime homework.

Learning the art of suspending judgment and resisting the urge to play psychotherapist when your input isn’t asked or required is a major part of your curriculum for growth.

There’s a capacity to understand the universal and abstract significance of life and simultaneously delve into the mysteries which can’t be conveyed through strict intellectual means.

Penetration and expansion can serve you well. However, remember to give as well as you get.

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Venus in Gemini, Mars in Sagittarius

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With this Venus/Mars combination, freedom and variety is as essential to you as oxygen. The question you will have to ask yourself is freedom for what? There’s no doubt that relationships serve you as a  source of unlimited information and intellectual stimulation. You also seek to apply what you learn in a larger context; through some all-encompassing philosophical system which provides you with more clues about what life ultimately means.

When you came to this planet, a one-dimensional experience is certainly what you DIDN’T have in mind.

Whether you’re getting your passport stamped or heavily immersed in a great work of literature, traveling is essential for you. Both your relationships and sex life need to be immersed in this theme.

No adventure and diversity might as well be a “bored to death” sentence for you, as this blend suggests a need to explore duality and a quest for a lightness and buoyancy of being.

Yes… you may be floating along with youthful exuberance, but let’s not mistake that for naiveté, as you have the potential to assert the force of your being as connected to high-minded principles, especially honesty and ethical behavior as it applies to your intimate relationships.

Maybe the lesson which you have to learn with this blend is: there can be just as much variety in getting to know a few people deeply as flitting two and fro from one relatively superficial encounter to the next.

In your life and relationships you’ll find that the more you explore, the more questions arise, so be prepared to understand that just when you think you have the ultimate answer or truth, a few more of them reveal themselves and you have to re-work the puzzle we know as life.

If you’re able to use your flexibility to adapt to that type of “weather”, you will find that you’re able to make your home anywhere and enjoy the here and now of your relationships and maintain your sense of wonder which so rightly permeates your DNA.

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Moon-Venus Contacts in Synastry

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As a counseling Astrologer, when writing about synastry, which surveys relationship potential and compatibility  between two people (as suggested by their birth charts), one of my main responsibilities is to be an “opener of doors” and an interpreter of potentials and possibilities. No narrative between two individuals is a static, fixed one.

Advancing the art of synastry requires creativity, and a  far-seeing telescopic lens devoid of the “by rote” recitation of familiar and stale scenarios which couldn’t revive themselves even using the most powerful set of defibrillators.

In addressing issues surrounded by compatibility, our birth charts serve as a basis, foundation or a tool.  Then, the people breathe life into it, catapulting themselves off the paper into real-time, as to honor and support the unfolding human being.

Let’s take a journey into the realm of the Moon and Venus. These two planetary archetypes are firmly rooted in Astrology’s “intimacy network.”  Let’s make no mistake: they can be great friends and cohabitants, symbolizing a cozy synthesis of both what we WANT and what we NEED.

When Moon-Venus contacts are experienced between two people, there’s a GRAND OPPORTUNITY to create a “safe space” or a “heavenly haven”, if you will.  A place where you both enjoy the company of one another and there’s potential for an airtight trust that’s built on a keen emotional understanding and the desire of both partners to be in tune with one another’s innermost needs. The relationship possesses a heart barometer that each person checks frequently out of immense concern for the other.

The home and hearth are something to be cherished here, and the meanings travel far beyond the mundane “brick and mortar” definition. When it comes to the nurturing of the union between partners, a spirit of mutual cooperation can be present in service of furthering a heartfelt and erotic bond. Whether you’re a Woman or a Man in the relationship, these contacts suggest a deep and genuine appreciation for feminine principles: receptive, yielding and containing energy which is open to intuitive insights, emotional memory and the welcoming of sensitivity with open arms.

In Robert Augustus Masters’ work entitled “Emotional Intimacy: A Comprehensive Guide For Connecting With The Power of Your Emotions“, he gives an outline of some factors in synergistic combination which constitute emotional intimacy. Here are five which illustrate Moon-Venus contacts working at an optimal level:

(1) Being sufficiently well acquainted with our emotions so that when one arises, we recognize it, can name it, and acknowledge what we’re doing with it.

(2) Relating TO our emotions rather than just FROM our emotions, so that we neither fuse with nor dissociate from them

(3) Listening to others deeply, both to what’s being said and what’s NOT being said.

(4) Remaining emotionally transparent and non-defensively expressive of whatever is arising in us, be it pleasant or unpleasant.

(5) Being FULLY vulnerable.

Ladies and gentlemen, of course there’s a flip side to these dynamics, which holds the possibility of operating in quite a dysfunctional manner.

An appropriate culinary comparison to the Moon and Venus would be comfort food and sweets. Both, when consumed and enjoyed in moderation, don’t necessarily have detrimental, long-term effects. However, overdoing it is a different story. One could easily conjure up a scenario where both partners are racking their brains to come up with the last time they actually participated in a meaningful activity as an independent entity. In fact, that whole phrase sounds foreign and perplexing.

Oddly enough, when suffering from he stupor  that sugar shock brings on, all the partners can locate is 15 to 20 extra pounds and remnants of an expired gym membership. What was once healthy interdependence has now morphed into insatiable attachment hunger. The fulfillment which results from adult sharing has now given way to the fussiness and temper tantrums reflecting infantile behavior.

Like any other contacts in synastry, much depends on the attitudes, maturity and focus of the people involved; with the emphasis being not so much on whether the aspects are cast as “harmonious” or “inharmonious”, but rather uncovering, through a wide open quest, the most constructive potentials for operation of the planets in question.

Venus-Saturn Aspects in The Birth Chart + Erykah Badu’s “Bag Lady”

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There are several states of mind, when overtaxed, which can serve as grand inhibitors in our lives if we allow it.

If I were to start a list of such potential ways of thinking , those which contained a disproportionate amount of FEAR and DOUBT would most likely be right at the top.

Most likely, at some point in our lives,  we’ve “thrown the towel” in.

We’ve conceded, allowing the thoughts of what may happen, or what has already transpired in our lives to place us on physical, mental and emotional lockdown.

Or, while we may have professedly  “moved on” from certain people and situations, there’s still a slew of baggage that’s being unconsciously transferred no matter what “new” setting we find ourselves in. In many cases, those bags may have become so heavy, that it affects our ability to navigate other terrain.

 

Please lend me your eyes and ears as we discuss Venus, Saturn and intimate relationships.

One of the things that I love about Astrology is the astounding number of possibilities which are born when two planetary archetypes meet. The range of potentials is beyond our wildest imagination. In addition, every planet is a teacher and can offer tremendous assistance with its lessons.

Venus symbolizes our fundamental desire to relate and connect to another human being. It’s us “reaching out” and being reached out to in return. There’s a spirit of harmony and cooperation which permeates Venusian energy. The wish to co-exist peacefully, ‘work things out’ and smooth over differences while building bridges of the heart. In many ways, Venus is connected to what we find beautiful in this world and our capacity to embody that; to make our relationships ART.

Saturn’s energy is structural. It’s connected to forms. The ringed planet symbolizes concrete actualization of our goals through discipline, hard work and commitment. Saturn embodies the divine law of compensation in that we receive in the exact measure to which we give; the amount of effort which we put into something is precisely reflected into our returns.

Saturn’s lessons are related to the tests we need to meet in order to build greater stability in our lives. What’s essentially being asked of us is that we face our life challenges with an attitude of focus, responsibility and maturity.

When Venus and Saturn combine in an individual birth chart, there’s a potential to be severely tested within the realm of human relationships. The manner in which we negotiate this territory is of utmost importance.

If we look at what a test really consists of, we’re given one almost every day. When we’re reeling off of 3 hours of sleep, the alarm clock sounds and we know we have to get up for work. Or, when we actually get to our job and we’re “tested” by our employer to justify our position. Even if we work at home, we’re testing ourselves to see how much we can produce for that given day.

 

When we get to the crux of Venus-Saturn in relationships, the tests only scratch the surface. The deeper part is confronting and eliminating the potential fears that we have of not being able to pass them. Not being good enough, smart enough, thin enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, cool enough, etc…. 

On the dysfunctional side of Venus-Saturn, the picture looks like someone who is inhibited, or blocked in love because they feel like they don’t deserve it, or they don’t have the ability to  measure up to some artificial construct they’ve created. The idea of a relationship feels like a weight because the thought of getting close to someone would only exacerbate those fears.

The defense mechanism or “hiding place” is to rationalize that “no one wants me” anyway, or the devaluing of how much time and effort others put into maintaining their relationships:

“Whew….. I don’t know how two people spend SOOOO much time together… I couldn’t do it.”  “There’s no way i could talk to my partner on the phone EVERY DAY…”

This line of thinking says :

if I trick myself into believing all of this is “one big hassle”, it will alleviate my desire to enter into a relationship and EVER having to be tested.

However, what’s being missed here is that a great deal of effort is probably being expended to restrict or suppress these desires, when it could actually be re-directed in healthier ways to obtain what we actually want.

If we’re able to understand these fears for what they are and bring them to light, there’s a much lesser chance that they’ll show up as excess baggage in our relationships or pursuance thereof, and we’ll then be able to work with the constructive potentials of Venus-Saturn:

responsible partnership, operating with integrity in relationships, taking ownership in how we connect to other people, solidly defining our relationship needs, setting healthy boundaries between ourselves and others, putting conscious effort into working at relationships, valuing long term commitment over short term gratification, summoning the fortitude to endure difficult times, exhibiting discipline and self-control with our partners, and choosing adult relating.

When it comes to Venus-Saturn aspects in our birth charts, the willingness we exhibit towards confronting our fears about relationships can go a long way in making a difference in whether we become the committed partner or the “bag lady”.

 

Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Leo

Your  Venus/Mars blend suggests an enjoyment of life that is nothing short of beaming.

Seeking to elevate your relationships, philosophical pondering with the one that you love is a requirement. This can take place thousands of miles away from home, or inside a studio apartment. The freedom to learn and explore life in all of its facets connects to a healthy sense of self-esteem, along with a drive toward unique self-expression  and creation through the force of your personality. There’s a genuine love for expansive ideas and lofty ideals, which when pursued, can help you gain attention from others.

Venus -Uranus Contacts in Synastry : Featuring Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor”

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It could all be so simple/but you’d rather make it hard/loving you is like a battle/and we both end up with scars/tell me who I have to be/to get some reciprocity/no one loves you more than me/and no one ever will.”

– From Lauryn Hill’s“Ex-Factor”

In relationship Astrology or Synastry, Venus-Uranus contacts symbolize the potential for a magnetic attraction. One of the looming issues which could also be prevalent is the sporadicity and instability which permeates the affections.

One of the central themes between two people that will likely emerge is the focus on one’s ability to love another for who and what they are, and the expectation that equal sentiments will be returned.

Venus suggests the relational principle, while Uranus has an impersonal quality which suggests liberation and freedom. A potential manifestation of these contacts can consist of the electrifying of a relationship that’s based on of a mutual agreement to accept and embrace one another’s eccentricities.

Or, on the flip side, one partner could easily feel that they’ve created a space for the other to develop their uniqueness, but the same consideration isn’t being extended to them. Or, one person’s idea of “liberation” strongly conflicts with the others, or as Lauryn Hill so aptly puts it in “Lost Ones” :

“My emancipation don’t fit your equation.”

What’s being tested in these contacts is one’s limits of acceptance. You love each other, but it’s really difficult to stomach the “on again, “off again” dynamic hoping that you’ll get some reciprocity and things will change.

Maybe this aspect exists to show you that what you want is more traditional than you thought. Or, it could be that you require more latitude than you imagined and you’ve simply been going along with a “normal” relationship because that’s what you thought was expected of you.

While this overview doesn’t provide the answers for you (nor should it), it may prompt a certain set of questions which will further aid you in exploring whatever balance you need to strike between freedom and intimacy in personal relationships.

Feel this and take a listen to “Ex-Factor” by Lauryn Hill: