Venus in Capricorn: “Undefended Love”

Venus Chartreuse & Teal Circle

As we explore the structure that’s Venus in Capricorn, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Capricorn lens, will be emphasized.

For individuals with the natal placement of Venus in Capricorn, Love is solid; you can take it to the bank. Love is enduring . Love is order. Love is structure. There are “rules” to love. Love is responsibility. Love is commitment. Love is a test. Love is integrity. Love is discipline. Love is work. Love is maturity, and like fine wine, gets better with time.

Love is the neutralizing of one’s defense mechanisms in order to open up the heart space.  In the words of Edwin Louis Cole:

“Boundaries are meant to protect life, not to limit pleasures.”

Two essential developmental questions for those with Venus placed in Capricorn would be: (1) What are my ultimate responsibilities in regard to my intimate relationships and (2) How can I become a model of integrity in my relationships allowing thought, word and deed to masterfully align?

It’s clear that this is a serious situation when the fulfilling of Venus’ relating needs are sought by way of the Saturn-ruled Capricorn environment. However, in this case, serious merely means that it requires immediate and skillful attention.

Contained in this placement, is an overarching strength in understanding the importance of delayed gratification and the awareness that REAL and ORGANIC relationship processes take TIME and WORK. If there’s anyone capable of sustaining long-term relationships, it is you.

In order to successfully navigate this placement, one must be willing to exert the necessary effort towards fostering which will likely be fewer relationships (as compared to many) of quality, substance and depth.

The focus here is not light and unfettered social butterfly-ism (see the elaboration of Robert Greene’s rule 16 in his “48 Laws of Power, which states that “too much circulation makes the price go down.”), but rather the establishment of solid foundations with others that build bridges of trust, honesty and mutual respect.

To facilitate this process, it’s key to understand the all important part that the lowering of one’s defenses and self-revelation plays in its overall effectiveness. For Venus in Capricorn, the thawing of a natural reserve can be difficult for a few reasons.

Concerning the more maladaptive expressions of Venus in Capricorn, Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green introduces a possible theory which outlines delayed emotional development and an intense blockage, constriction and compression of one’s feelings, as a result of induced guilt from the parental relationship:

“The Venus in Capricorn person has typically been born into family structures in which the parental reality has been defined by the consensus of the society in which they live. Consequently, the parental reality has typically had a heavy undertone in which the child has been expected to conform to the parental value system. When the child deviated from these expectations to conform, he or she was made to feel guilty in covert or overt ways through the use of judgment. A related dynamic within the general pattern of expectation to conform to parental values is one wherein the parents have projected on the child a rigid code of conduct that the child is expected to adhere to even when the parents themselves do not. The cliché “Do as I say, not as I do applies here.”

What can be gathered from this is that the Venus in Capricorn individual may have witnessed, and or been a part of an environment where vulnerability, open affection and free relating were not top priorities, but rather ” conditional love from a distance” and an authoritarian stance reigned supreme.

When we consider how this may filter into ones intimate relationships at worst, we arrive at an unremarkable need to “manage” one’s image and relationships borne out of an excessive fear of rejection or feeling inadequately “prepared” to participate in relationships. The compensation for this is to view relationships as a “game” where strategic moves, or having a “one up” carry more value than a mutual sharing of intimate feelings and thoughts.

Nevertheless, for those with Venus in Capricorn the universe’s call is for them to participate in the process of “undefended love”, a term coined by Marlena Lyons and Jett Psaris:

“Intimacy-direct, unmediated, heart-to-heart connection with ourselves and with others-can only occur when the heart is undefended. To cut through our personal differences, to reach the unveiled part of ourselves that is deep enough to express the most profound and untamed aspects of our being means learning how to love and be loved without defenses and without obstructions. It means cultivating the capacity to be emotionally present even when we feel exposed or vulnerable; learning to relinquish the many strategies we have employed to feel safe and in control; and finding the courage to love without guarantees or requirements.”

Like anything else, these things take time. So, it wouldn’t be fitting with the Saturn and Capricorn archetype, if one was expected to snap into this mode of being overnight. However, the greater lesson which can be learned through conscious and active participation with this placement is :

When you, the Venus in Capricorn individual, keep your heart open, you’re able to continue an unrestricted conversation with the source which moves you toward loving and constructive actions as well as healthy choices which will nourish you emotionally.

It’s important for you to keep your “feeling portals” open, as well as your mind, and to be consistently receptive to the myriad of life’s experiences.

Developing an inner dialogue with yourself allows you to stay in the “driver’s seat” and define your own experiences and attitudes when it comes to life, love, and relationships.

If you allow unpleasant experiences with one (or more) individual(s) to control the manner in which you live and love moving forward, you’ve essentially “given up the wheel” in favor of living in perpetual fear and doubt.

It’s vital that through your growth you increase your awareness.

And, it’s gravely important for you to avoid using temporarily unfavorable outcomes as a platform for beating up on yourself. A more constructive move would be to combine your newly discovered insights with your inner wisdom and allow the synthesis to reflect in your unique life perspectives moving forward.

Even through your pain and heartbreak you will discover a marvelous teacher. Pain shows us where our limits are, allowing us to say “ouch”.

If nothing led you to this point, how would you know what hurts? Better yet, how would you know when enough is enough?

As horrible as you may have felt (or may be feeling) during trying times, if you wish to fully participate in life and loving in the most authentic sense, sooner or later, you must risk the same painful emotions resurfacing in your life.

You could possibly spend the rest of your days attempting to employ more sophisticated tactics of pain avoidance, projection, self-protection, and the like. However, by all indicators, this is not what you truly desire to do.

With Venus in Capricorn, one of the best case scenarios is that you’ll arrive in a place which demonstrates that neither genuine honesty and vulnerability or healthy human boundaries restrict you from experiencing the love and relationships you crave and deserve.

It is through these boundaries that you maintain and preserve your self-love and respect while simultaneously allowing yourself to reach out and offer the key to your heart, as a sacred gift, to another.

If you have Venus in Capricorn in your birth Chart, your theme song is “Garden (Say it Like Dat)” by SZA. You can listen right here:

References: “Undefended Love” by Jett Psaris and Marlena Lyons. “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene. “Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

Advertisements

Venus in Virgo : “Discriminating Love”

Venus Face - Frame 0 (1)

 

“Everything keeps its best nature only by being put to its best use.” – Phillips Brooks

As we explore the method that’s Venus in Virgo, we do so with the understanding that Venus can’t be reduced or limited exclusively to “love” in one’s birth chart. There are far more associations which accompany the planet. However, for the purpose of this particular article, one’s idea of love, as viewed through the Venus in Virgo lens, will be emphasized.

For those with Venus placed in Virgo in the natal chart, Love is utilitarian. Love is continuous improvement. Love is pragmatic.  Love is service. Love is efficiency. Love is careful and continuous analysis. Love is health. Love is selective and discriminating. Love is paying attention.

With this arrangement, love needs are sought to be fulfilled in an environment which calls for the use of one’s faculties of discernment. While Virgo’s complementary sign, Pisces, is geared toward merging and unification, the Virgin’s direction consists of recognition and understanding of the difference between on thing and another.

For Venus in Virgo individuals “relationship competence” is of utmost importance, as a healthy developmental direction to which to proceed in puts emphasis on doing whatever is required to make relationships the best that they can be and operate in a healthy manner. These actions include picking the relationship apart, examining each facet thoroughly and determining its overall usefulness. As time goes on, the conclusions that one draws about what’s helpful and necessary for their partnerships will most likely change as a matter of principle and as an indicator of striving toward excellence.

One’s growth is naturally enveloped in the process of employing sound judgment in partnerships, and using these same unions as a vehicle for one’s own refinement and the betterment of the partner. Ideally, one’s relationships should work efficiently, like a well-oiled machine.

When placed in action, Venus in Virgo correlates well with the love language that Gary Chapman refers to as “Acts of Service” in his bestselling book “The 5 Love Languages”.

“Acts of service” consists of doing things that you know that your partner would want you to do or appreciate; seeking to please her or him by serving them. One would naturally know what their partner wanted after careful listening, analysis and observation which are all mercurial functions that are “at home” with the sign Virgo.

Also, as Chapman emphasizes, these acts of service would require thought, planning, time, effort and energy and if they’re done with a positive spirit, they would be expressions of love.

In regard to this placement “discrimination” is a key phrase. And, depending on our life circumstances, we may have only been exposed to the negative connotations associated with this term, which deal with the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, gender or sexual orientation.

However, there’s another side to discrimination which indicates one’s ability to choose and make distinctions with care. Refinement of this faculty will most certainly be connected to one’s ability to maintain and execute relationships in a healthy and functional manner.

Potential challenge areas emerge for individuals with Venus in Virgo when their analysis goes too far, in that they attempt to answer every question: past, present and future – in order to account for every possible scenario without taking the actual plunge with their feelings in relationships. In essence, an self-inflicted paralysis and a robbing oneself of the right to possibly experience the love and relationship that you deserve.

Astrologer Jeffrey Wolf Green elaborates on this:

“Venus in Virgo people are plagued by a deep sense of inner doubt which is caused not only by the desire to deflate their egos, but also by the excessive inner analysis that creates a diversity of competing thoughts and perspectives. In turn, this can lead to an inner paralysis of their ability to take action as necessary. When these individuals consider some new project, or some new direction, or some new strategy leading to self-improvement, they will make these new ways seem so big and complicated that it reinforces their sense of personal inadequacy. Thus, they can defeat themselves before they even start. The way out of this self-defeating dynamic is to realize that the path to perfection, self-improvement, or the actualization of their abilities occurs one step at a time”

An important lesson for you to learn is: as efficient as you may be, there are no guarantees. You must take the initial steps involved in risk taking, and when you find yourself in the midst of a relationship, you must wholeheartedly INVOLVE yourself as opposed to consciously distancing yourself and playing the role of “remote tinkering technician”.

Also, it’s essential to understand that the same time and care that one puts in dissecting the relationship must be invested in considering the feelings of one’s partner. People aren’t “projects” and using your aforementioned powers of discrimination, to make the fine distinction between the two will benefit you greatly in the long run.

Understand that the pursuit of the ideal in relationships is both a natural and honorable inclination for you. To relinquish the belief that these aspirations must be accompanied by the excessive criticism of yourself and others, or that to be content and satisfied with what you have is accepting mediocrity is to invest in the breaking your own psychological and emotional chains.

References: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman

“Pluto Volume 2: The Soul’s Evolution Through Relationships” by Jeffrey Wolf Green

 

Venus-Uranus Aspects in Synastry – “We Love In Unconventional Ways”

Rainbow Comission Face Circle

An attraction like a moth to a flame. Suddenly, shocking… out of nowhere. Lightning quick. Unexplained.

These are a few common ways in which Venus-Uranus contacts operate in synastry, better known as relationship Astrology. This aspect suggests a sudden. magnetic attraction with live electric currents. There is a heightened quality to the stimulation of this aspect which seems to transcend the boxes or categories we use to differentiate ourselves such as race, gender, sexual orientation, class or culture. Honestly, the beauty which you see in each other is so customized that you rarely give a damn.

Whatever enamors you about the other person may have done so to a degree that you’ll continue to pursue that attraction in the face of objection from family, friends and whomever else has the audacity to disagree with your choices. The questions which this aspect begs to answer is ” Am I “high” off rebellion? Or, is this the real thing?

What you need to know is that the potential exists for it to be REALLY REAL provided that there are structural supports in place for when the buzzing subsides, which will eventually happen. If this is NOT the case, you may find  yourself in a situation where you find yourselves in a conundrum, asking why there’s this on again/off again/on again dynamic.

One of the biggest lessons which can be taught and learned by this aspect is that there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to relationships.At the end of the day, your fulfillment matters more than any illusory model which society parades as the end all to be all of happiness. You value and cherish your right to map out your union as you see fit and could definitely encourage others to do the same.

It’s important to be aware of the tendency to take impulsive action when your partner’s human qualities surface as if that somehow bores you. Adopting an erroneous perspective in this area could create a chronic dissatisfaction as to keep you never satisfied, seeking the next best thing, while longer term intimacy evades you and you mistake a person’s imperfections for relationship stagnation.

Take a listen to the Jazzyfatnastees “Unconventional Ways”. This song captures the spirit of the Venus-Uranus aspect in synastry perfectly:

Venus -Uranus Contacts in Synastry

Purple Turquoise Circle

It could all be so simple/but you’d rather make it hard/loving you is like a battle/and we both end up with scars/tell me who I have to be/to get some reciprocity/no one loves you more than me/and no one ever will.”

– From Lauryn Hill’s“Ex-Factor”

In relationship Astrology or Synastry, Venus-Uranus contacts symbolize the potential for a magnetic attraction. One of the looming issues which could also be prevalent is the sporadicity and instability which permeates the affections.

One of the central themes between two people that will likely emerge is the focus on one’s ability to love another for who and what they are, and the expectation that equal sentiments will be returned.

Venus suggests the relational principle, while Uranus has an impersonal quality which suggests liberation and freedom. A potential manifestation of these contacts can consist of the electrifying of a relationship that’s based on of a mutual agreement to accept and embrace one another’s eccentricities.

Or, on the flip side, one partner could easily feel that they’ve created a space for the other to develop their uniqueness, but the same consideration isn’t being extended to them. Or, one person’s idea of “liberation” strongly conflicts with the others, or as Lauryn Hill so aptly puts it in “Lost Ones” :

“My emancipation don’t fit your equation.”

What’s being tested in these contacts is one’s limits of acceptance. You love each other, but it’s really difficult to stomach the “on again, “off again” dynamic hoping that you’ll get some reciprocity and things will change.

Maybe this aspect exists to show you that what you want is more traditional than you thought. Or, it could be that you require more latitude than you imagined and you’ve simply been going along with a “normal” relationship because that’s what you thought was expected of you.

While this overview doesn’t provide the answers for you (nor should it), it may prompt a certain set of questions which will further aid you in exploring whatever balance you need to strike between freedom and intimacy in personal relationships.

If you have this aspect in synastry with someone, take a listen to “Ex-Factor” by Lauryn Hill:

 

Venus in Gemini, Mars in Scorpio

NSU Comission Face Circle

Although you’re the type to enjoy a lighthearted “good time” and may even express your deepest feelings in the form of anecdotes,  if someone were to delve into your interior just a little bit more, they would see that it’s not all adolescent giggles and midnight games of scrabble.

You value variety, but depth is pursued in a fervent, almost “do or die” fashion. Once you get your emotional energy swirling behind a cause (especially love or lust), all bets are off.

You have the potential to relate to others with a dexterity which disarms them, but you don’t stop there. In fact, this is only a means to explore the gloss of the surface before diving into deep waters. Once you’ve arrived you like to penetrate and be penetrated : spiritually, physically, psychologically and emotionally.

One may get the idea that you’re footloose and fancy free because you seem to navigate life with such aplomb, but what they may not see unless they get extremely close to you is your craving for intensity. What people fail to understand about you is that you view sex as just one of the many vehicles that can be used to explore and solidify a deeper connection with another human being. So, your true reasons for engaging in the throes of intimacy are often at variance with what others expect.

Your psychological makeup could be compared to a burner on a stove that doesn’t turn orange when it warms up, so people try to touch you and get scorched because they had NO IDEA you were so hot.

You need your privacy, but in order to remain true to yourself, it’s important that you cultivate the ability to make your deepest needs known to others. Learning the difference between strategic self-protection and deception is part of your life’s work.

Your sword can cut both ways through verbal confrontation and strategic precisely timed action.

 

 

 

Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Scorpio

Maroon White Comission Face Circle

With this Venus/Mars blend, intuitive and holistic approaches combine with depth exploration.

Potentially, you can be willing to “take it there” dropping bombs on the “taboos” of life while splitting them open for full view in the process.

If you choose to do so, you have the capacity to relate with radically naked honesty, based on high ideals and principles. In fact,  it’s something you value greatly.

Intense sexual exploration as a means to heal, and summon greater forces of fusion is the most fulfilling avenue when it comes to intimate connections with others. Breadth of scope and passionate focus are resources at your disposal.

Although a part of you can come off as lighthearted, there’s an appetite for something more substantial; a desire to know and be known at the most profound levels, and you’re someone who’s willing to accept the challenge and everything that comes with that..

Even when you have to dredge up the parts of yourself which are more difficult to examine, you find a large scope philosophical  context to bring meaning to the entire situation.

While  buoyant free spirits attract you, those who are willing to travel to the seedy underbellly of life turn you on and get your blood pumping. You find the deviation from doing “what you’re supposed to do” , and saying what you’re supposed to say highly erotic.

Open-mindedness and the willingness to accept yourself and others in their totality is part of your lifetime homework.

Learning the art of suspending judgment and resisting the urge to play psychotherapist when your input isn’t asked or required is a major part of your curriculum for growth.

There’s a capacity to understand the universal and abstract significance of life and simultaneously delve into the mysteries which can’t be conveyed through strict intellectual means.

Penetration and expansion can serve you well. However, remember to give as well as you get.

 

Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Libra

Orange & Blue Seal Orange Banner

As the CEO of this Venus/Mars blend in your birth chart, your relational needs center around intensity and emotional nakedness.

It’s difficult for you to accept anything less than feeling deeply connected to your significant other or whomever you choose to engage with.

Whether you realize it or not, there’s a dance happening inside you which requires the careful navigation of its rhythms. It consists of allowing yourself to see both your beauty as well as the ugly beast within.

If there’s anything you feel that should remain in the dark “from prying eyes”, for your benefit, you have to face it without running away. In fact, there will be no peace until you do so. You have immense potential to heal and be healed through your personal relationships, but you must come to terms with the cost of admission.

Your blend suggests the application of energy in service of harmony, and this is honorable. However, avoiding the rawness of touchy issues just for the sake of serenity won’t cut it in this lifetime. Your inner peace could be very well earned through trials of fire.

We all know that sex faces aren’t pretty, but you have to let the grimace be what it is, and let the moans out- chances are you’ll feel a liberation of emotional toxins and will be on the way to experiencing the equilibrium that you value so much. Anything which can help you to reveal yourself in a no holds barred capacity is your friend. In order to create a trusting environment, you TOO must lay some cards on the table. Maybe not *every* card just yet, but enough to let others know you mean serious business.

Will you share your depths? Or will you look out the peephole until you think everything is “nice and neat”?

 

 

Venus in Gemini, Mars in Sagittarius

Maroon College seal (1)

With this Venus/Mars combination, freedom and variety is as essential to you as oxygen. The question you will have to ask yourself is freedom for what? There’s no doubt that relationships serve you as a  source of unlimited information and intellectual stimulation. You also seek to apply what you learn in a larger context; through some all-encompassing philosophical system which provides you with more clues about what life ultimately means.

When you came to this planet, a one-dimensional experience is certainly what you DIDN’T have in mind.

Whether you’re getting your passport stamped or heavily immersed in a great work of literature, traveling is essential for you. Both your relationships and sex life need to be immersed in this theme.

No adventure and diversity might as well be a “bored to death” sentence for you, as this blend suggests a need to explore duality and a quest for a lightness and buoyancy of being.

Yes… you may be floating along with youthful exuberance, but let’s not mistake that for naiveté, as you have the potential to assert the force of your being as connected to high-minded principles, especially honesty and ethical behavior as it applies to your intimate relationships.

Maybe the lesson which you have to learn with this blend is: there can be just as much variety in getting to know a few people deeply as flitting two and fro from one relatively superficial encounter to the next.

In your life and relationships you’ll find that the more you explore, the more questions arise, so be prepared to understand that just when you think you have the ultimate answer or truth, a few more of them reveal themselves and you have to re-work the puzzle we know as life.

If you’re able to use your flexibility to adapt to that type of “weather”, you will find that you’re able to make your home anywhere and enjoy the here and now of your relationships and maintain your sense of wonder which so rightly permeates your DNA.

 

 

 

 

Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Leo

FAMU Commission Face Circle

Your  Venus/Mars blend suggests an enjoyment of life that is nothing short of beaming.

Seeking to elevate your relationships, philosophical pondering with the one that you love is a requirement. This can take place thousands of miles away from home, or inside a studio apartment. The freedom to learn and explore life in all of its facets connects to a healthy sense of self-esteem, along with a drive toward unique self-expression  and creation through the force of your personality. There’s a genuine love for expansive ideas and lofty ideals, which when pursued, can help you gain attention from others.

Planetary Themes: Mercury, Venus, Neptune

Jamaican Commission Face Green Halo Circle

Mercury, Venus & Neptune combination themes:

The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. Unity. Holistic and visionary thinking connected to the synthesizing capacity of the higher mind.  Bridging intellect and intuition. Brain balancing. A mind which recognizes connections and rhythm, or the “dance of life”. Subtlety in thought and communication. “Tuned into” the nonverbal aspect of life. Access to the spiritual and ethereal worlds. Telepathy. Working with symbols, images, dreams and myths. Creative visualization. Empathizing and employing sensitivity. Artful speech and delicate, poetic expression. Film, music, and art. Limitless perception. Disillusionment in thought and relationships. Creating an alternate reality because one doesn’t want to face the current one. Deceit in speech. Trouble distinguishing between true “seeing” and paranoia.